I have survived... just.
It took me a hour to do a trip that normally takes me 30mins thanks to endless roadworks which were all down to our Uni being expanded. The traffic lights turned green, but there was still no movement, in fact the only vehicles on the road that were making progress was the police convoy escorting some bad boy to court and by the looks of the convoy, he must have been a real bad boy!
It was good to see all the ladies back at work, I do miss the banter and the bitching when I'm not there. After a few trips up and down the corridor it soon occurred to me that it was a lot longer than I remembered it and I wondered yet again if a pair of child's Heelies might be the answer to get me up and down it!
By lunchtime, I was knackered. My throat was beginning to twang again and I forgot just how much your brain hurts trying to remember everything. My knees were also hurting. I now have a bruise in the shape of a map of Africa on one knee and a smiley face on the other!
Hopefully after Wednesday I will be cartwheeling up and down the corridor thanks to my overnight oxygen. Wednesday is O-Day or D-Day when I get the talk on how to use the machine correctly... after all I'd hate to look like Violet Beauregarde out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with a gigantic swollen head... strewth it's only just gone down from the steroids!
Lots of love Debbie x
About Me
- Me...Debbie Burden... or known as Burders
- I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!
Monday, 8 February 2010
Sunday, 7 February 2010
ladies that lunch
Had my lovely friend down to stay for the weekend. I haven't seen her since her wedding in June, so it was really special to meet up again.
We lunched in a lovely country pub on the Saturday while we chatted and giggled about everything. I think if I was one of her animals in her veterinary clinic, she might be close to having me put down with my stats!
We shopped and brought beautiful things for our homes. I did have to drive like a maniac to the nearest supermarket to borrow their loo because of my IBS and then drive back again, only to find her deeply engrossed in candles! We laughed, ate and laughed some more at Oliver's and Reni's flat that night and entertained my mother on the Sunday.
Thank you Jim for letting me borrow her for the weekend. Thank you Jacky for being my lovely friend x
Can't wait to see you again soon.
Lots of love Debbie xx
We lunched in a lovely country pub on the Saturday while we chatted and giggled about everything. I think if I was one of her animals in her veterinary clinic, she might be close to having me put down with my stats!
We shopped and brought beautiful things for our homes. I did have to drive like a maniac to the nearest supermarket to borrow their loo because of my IBS and then drive back again, only to find her deeply engrossed in candles! We laughed, ate and laughed some more at Oliver's and Reni's flat that night and entertained my mother on the Sunday.
Thank you Jim for letting me borrow her for the weekend. Thank you Jacky for being my lovely friend x
Can't wait to see you again soon.
Lots of love Debbie xx
Friday, 5 February 2010
karma bites you in the bum
I'm going to run the risk of upsetting all young mums today, but why is it that they have to have mother and baby parking spaces in supermarket car parks and if they are full why do they think they can nick our disabled parking spaces???
Blimey when my boys were small, one you would walk to the shops or two I'd go to town and back by bus with my two young boys complete with shopping bags on the handles of the buggy. So much so, when you bent down to pick up the child who was walking, the buggy would tip up with the weight of the shopping bags and your baby would be staring up at the sky! Unhurt before you ring up Childline! You would then get on the bus with one child under one arm, buggy under other the arm whilst holding hand of elder child and shopping and still manage to pay the driver.
Nowadays, the mums struggle out of their four by fours... well they are quite high off the ground aren't they and trot across in their designer heels and with their designer pushchairs while I struggle with my shopping and oxygen unit to my car somewhere in the car park because I couldn't get parked any nearer to the shop.
Ok I am a bitch... I know this as karma got me this afternoon for being mean to young mums... as I fell over.
I was out in the back garden filling a bin bag up with polystyrene shapes and a couple blew away. I went to grab them and one of my old lady slippers got caught in my trouser flare and I went down on my hands and knees with such a wallop that it frighten me and my friend Julie who luckily was with me. The sound of my knees hitting the concrete sounded like that garden Jenga game when it falls over... Shite my knees hurt... I'll never say to a child again 'Ups a daisy' when they fall over, because boy does it hurt.
By the time I got to the sofa, my knees had swollen up and the bruises were already beginning to shine black and blue. Julie went back into her nursing mode and made me put my legs up on the sofa before putting two ice cold flannels on my knees. I then got a fit of giggles... and believe me I will go to hell for this remark... As I laid there with my trousers rolled up, my pink hippo socks on and a big brown flannel on each knee, I rather resembled the plaster model of the little charity box girl that you used to see outside shops years ago, all I needed was a slot on the top of my head to put the money in! I know, I know... I am sick and I will go to hell... twice... once for being cruel to young mums and again if they let me out the first time for comparing myself to the model.
I promise I will be good in future and be PC... sorry.
Lots of love Debbie x
Blimey when my boys were small, one you would walk to the shops or two I'd go to town and back by bus with my two young boys complete with shopping bags on the handles of the buggy. So much so, when you bent down to pick up the child who was walking, the buggy would tip up with the weight of the shopping bags and your baby would be staring up at the sky! Unhurt before you ring up Childline! You would then get on the bus with one child under one arm, buggy under other the arm whilst holding hand of elder child and shopping and still manage to pay the driver.
Nowadays, the mums struggle out of their four by fours... well they are quite high off the ground aren't they and trot across in their designer heels and with their designer pushchairs while I struggle with my shopping and oxygen unit to my car somewhere in the car park because I couldn't get parked any nearer to the shop.
Ok I am a bitch... I know this as karma got me this afternoon for being mean to young mums... as I fell over.
I was out in the back garden filling a bin bag up with polystyrene shapes and a couple blew away. I went to grab them and one of my old lady slippers got caught in my trouser flare and I went down on my hands and knees with such a wallop that it frighten me and my friend Julie who luckily was with me. The sound of my knees hitting the concrete sounded like that garden Jenga game when it falls over... Shite my knees hurt... I'll never say to a child again 'Ups a daisy' when they fall over, because boy does it hurt.
By the time I got to the sofa, my knees had swollen up and the bruises were already beginning to shine black and blue. Julie went back into her nursing mode and made me put my legs up on the sofa before putting two ice cold flannels on my knees. I then got a fit of giggles... and believe me I will go to hell for this remark... As I laid there with my trousers rolled up, my pink hippo socks on and a big brown flannel on each knee, I rather resembled the plaster model of the little charity box girl that you used to see outside shops years ago, all I needed was a slot on the top of my head to put the money in! I know, I know... I am sick and I will go to hell... twice... once for being cruel to young mums and again if they let me out the first time for comparing myself to the model.
I promise I will be good in future and be PC... sorry.
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday, 4 February 2010
It has arrived
It is here, the Machine from Hell has arrived... I even got up early to be ready for it and I'm officially on sick leave.
Actually the young chap who delivered it was a absolute sweetie and made a difficult time really easy. We sat and chatted first of all. I guess the dragging of the feet and the 'Kevin the teenager' stance gave away the fact that I wasn't happy one iota about having the damn thing. But he pointed out that having the machine was a tad better than having a stroke or a heart attack etc, but not in a condescending way at all, just a matter of fact way. I think the fact that this Jack the Lad who was young enough to be my son, actually made me see what all the medical staff had been trying to get in my thicker than normal head for ages.
When he brought it in he was all smiles... it was half the size of what I thought it was going to be and it was blue and as he quite rightly pointed out... it matched my bedroom! It wasn't actually the Machine from Hell at all, but hey the devil does come in all disguises!
Apparently this is a new machine on trial at the moment and is half the size, quieter and doesn't get so hot when it's running. It fitted in between my bedside cabinet and the wall and you would have to look hard to see what it was, as it's the size of a suitcase. It is still noisy, a bit louder than an air con machine when on holiday, but I lived on a busy main road for years and managed to sleep with the windows wide open with no trouble.
That young man deserves a medal, because he made me smile and feel that the disguised Machine from Hell it wasn't all that bad...
But I did get the impression that he thought I was in the same age bracket as his gran! He taught me another lesson too... no more draining all black clothes and back to always making sure I have my make-up on when answering the door!
Anyway a big thank you Lee... you are my hero!
Lots of love Debbie x
Actually the young chap who delivered it was a absolute sweetie and made a difficult time really easy. We sat and chatted first of all. I guess the dragging of the feet and the 'Kevin the teenager' stance gave away the fact that I wasn't happy one iota about having the damn thing. But he pointed out that having the machine was a tad better than having a stroke or a heart attack etc, but not in a condescending way at all, just a matter of fact way. I think the fact that this Jack the Lad who was young enough to be my son, actually made me see what all the medical staff had been trying to get in my thicker than normal head for ages.
When he brought it in he was all smiles... it was half the size of what I thought it was going to be and it was blue and as he quite rightly pointed out... it matched my bedroom! It wasn't actually the Machine from Hell at all, but hey the devil does come in all disguises!
Apparently this is a new machine on trial at the moment and is half the size, quieter and doesn't get so hot when it's running. It fitted in between my bedside cabinet and the wall and you would have to look hard to see what it was, as it's the size of a suitcase. It is still noisy, a bit louder than an air con machine when on holiday, but I lived on a busy main road for years and managed to sleep with the windows wide open with no trouble.
That young man deserves a medal, because he made me smile and feel that the disguised Machine from Hell it wasn't all that bad...
But I did get the impression that he thought I was in the same age bracket as his gran! He taught me another lesson too... no more draining all black clothes and back to always making sure I have my make-up on when answering the door!
Anyway a big thank you Lee... you are my hero!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
30 pieces of silver or 4 DVDs
Had the rug pulled from under my feet today... I have to go on overnight oxygen after all.
I was just getting dressed when the phone went and it was the oxygen clinic. My oxygen levels now drop too low through the night to ignore. It took two phone calls to finally sink in what was happening as I just couldn't take everything in on the first one.
In between the two calls, the oxygen company rang to say they would deliver the machine from hell tomorrow!
It seems my normal everyday stats level is 88% at the moment. For those of you that don't know whether that is good or bad, if you watch ER or Holby City, when the patients stats are 90% they rush around panicking almost with blue lights on their heads and clamp masks over the patients faces!
Apparently my levels drop below 85%, so no that's not good. The plan is that I have overnight oxygen and I'll feel better through out the day. That's their plan.
My plan was to try a desperate 'Well I have a cold at the moment, wouldn't that have affected the readings?' To a begging 'My stats are always low in winter. They were last year but they picked up didn't they?' To an angry 'This doctor hasn't even met me, how can he judge me!'
But at the end of the day I know they are right, but just everything changes yet again and at great speed, far too fast to get my head round.
While this conversation was going on, the postlady put my DVDs through my letter box. My DVDs that I used my 'thank you Amazon voucher' on from when I did my talk at the uni. The talk when I admitted that I was having bad headaches when waking up every morning and had been for ages. Talk about DVDs feeling like 30 pieces of silver... they were Gavin and Stacy DVDs too, how will I be able to watch them again without hurtling something at the TV?! I know it wasn't the talks fault, but why did I open my big mouth?????
To cheer myself up I thought I'd pop down to the shops and get a magazine, only to find my car covered in birds crap. My car mirrored how I felt... shat on from a great height! I just stood there in tears doing my best Frank Gallagher in the middle of the cul de sac... I can see my ASBO in the post!
Such is life...
Lots of love Debbie x
I was just getting dressed when the phone went and it was the oxygen clinic. My oxygen levels now drop too low through the night to ignore. It took two phone calls to finally sink in what was happening as I just couldn't take everything in on the first one.
In between the two calls, the oxygen company rang to say they would deliver the machine from hell tomorrow!
It seems my normal everyday stats level is 88% at the moment. For those of you that don't know whether that is good or bad, if you watch ER or Holby City, when the patients stats are 90% they rush around panicking almost with blue lights on their heads and clamp masks over the patients faces!
Apparently my levels drop below 85%, so no that's not good. The plan is that I have overnight oxygen and I'll feel better through out the day. That's their plan.
My plan was to try a desperate 'Well I have a cold at the moment, wouldn't that have affected the readings?' To a begging 'My stats are always low in winter. They were last year but they picked up didn't they?' To an angry 'This doctor hasn't even met me, how can he judge me!'
But at the end of the day I know they are right, but just everything changes yet again and at great speed, far too fast to get my head round.
While this conversation was going on, the postlady put my DVDs through my letter box. My DVDs that I used my 'thank you Amazon voucher' on from when I did my talk at the uni. The talk when I admitted that I was having bad headaches when waking up every morning and had been for ages. Talk about DVDs feeling like 30 pieces of silver... they were Gavin and Stacy DVDs too, how will I be able to watch them again without hurtling something at the TV?! I know it wasn't the talks fault, but why did I open my big mouth?????
To cheer myself up I thought I'd pop down to the shops and get a magazine, only to find my car covered in birds crap. My car mirrored how I felt... shat on from a great height! I just stood there in tears doing my best Frank Gallagher in the middle of the cul de sac... I can see my ASBO in the post!
Such is life...
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Sleeping sickness
I have slept so much today that I'm beginning to wonder if someone slipped a micky flynn in my camomile tea last night!
I can't believe just how much you can sleep when feeling under the weather, although daytime TV can hypnotize you into a stupor that I have learnt. No wonder my poor 92 year old mother thinks she's losing the plot!
But on a worrying note if you rack up the amount of hours you spend immobile when you are ill, the waste of time is very scary. Over the last couple of years I have wasted so much time not having energy and feeling like an old lady when I've been off work sick. When people say I do too much when I am well, it's because of me turning into a sofa hugger when ill and not wanting to waste a minute of my precious life when I do have the energy. Although I have learnt to take it slow too now... at long last I think I have learnt balance.
I hope to be back at work Thursday, although I may still sound like I should be dressed in stockings and a basque when answering the phone!
Also on a bright note, my physio called to ask if I was on oxygen when I did my overnight stats test.. does this mean that they came out relatively high so no need for overnight oxygen? Oh please guardian angels I hope so, fingers crossed hey!
lots of love Debbie x
I can't believe just how much you can sleep when feeling under the weather, although daytime TV can hypnotize you into a stupor that I have learnt. No wonder my poor 92 year old mother thinks she's losing the plot!
But on a worrying note if you rack up the amount of hours you spend immobile when you are ill, the waste of time is very scary. Over the last couple of years I have wasted so much time not having energy and feeling like an old lady when I've been off work sick. When people say I do too much when I am well, it's because of me turning into a sofa hugger when ill and not wanting to waste a minute of my precious life when I do have the energy. Although I have learnt to take it slow too now... at long last I think I have learnt balance.
I hope to be back at work Thursday, although I may still sound like I should be dressed in stockings and a basque when answering the phone!
Also on a bright note, my physio called to ask if I was on oxygen when I did my overnight stats test.. does this mean that they came out relatively high so no need for overnight oxygen? Oh please guardian angels I hope so, fingers crossed hey!
lots of love Debbie x
Monday, 1 February 2010
Hot toddys
I feel yuk... I think that is the official term for it.
My head throbs, my body feels like I've been put through a mangle and my throat is so sore and raspy that I sound like an 0900 number!
I'm hungry in the fact I want strong tasting food and if I knew what a hot toddy was, I'm sure one of those would be wonderful.
So back to sleep.
lots of love Debbie x
My head throbs, my body feels like I've been put through a mangle and my throat is so sore and raspy that I sound like an 0900 number!
I'm hungry in the fact I want strong tasting food and if I knew what a hot toddy was, I'm sure one of those would be wonderful.
So back to sleep.
lots of love Debbie x
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