Another cold day both outside and inside the office.
Had my mammogram today... third one in as many years, so if not careful I'll be able to roll my breasts up like spaniels ears and shove them in my bra!
Mind you today was very quick and efficient, just a shame I wasn't... Whenever someone tells me to hold my breath, I always panic and end up coughing. I'd never be any use to anyone on a stake out. I of course coughed while my right breast had been squashed so much it looked like the thickness of a scone before it's being cooked!
I don't know if you've ever noticed, but when you cough you jerk back instinctly. Try doing that when your breast is held in a vice like grip in an x-ray machine. I of course swore a very rude word, that made me cough even more, so she had to release my handful of breast from it's half nelson grip, until after several gulps of water later I had my coughing fit under control.
I don't think she was very impressed with me, but I on the other hand was very impressed that I had to hold the other breast out the way when the squished one was being x-rayed. I was however less impressed when she pushed my stomach down and out the way too, but I'm sure that was retaliation for me cocking up her x-ray.
Just have to wait two weeks now.
Lots of love Debbie x
About Me
- Me...Debbie Burden... or known as Burders
- I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Monday, 8 March 2010
All things bright and bloody cold!
Blimey it's brass monkeys out there today.
Just shows how looks can be deceiving as it looked so sunny and bright, but as soon as you walked outside your ears didn't half twang. Still the drive in was lovely, hardly any traffic until I got nearer the uni and then I did get stuck, it was outside a little cemetery that you don't normally notice when driving. Looking through the cobbley bricked arch and the old wooden gates at the overgrown grasses tinged with frost, it was like looking at a picture postcard.
Also what was cute was the little bunches of roadside snowdrops that I passed on the way into work, they looked like little bunches of random kindness.
Had a massage lunchtime for Mission Croatia. It's where our lovely ex chaplain, some staff and students go over to Croatia to the same children home come hospital each year to help restore it and keep it in working order. I would have loved to go, but I'd be more of a hinderance now. So I did my bit and paid for a fundraising massage and bonus... I feel like I've got a long neck again! I get so round shouldered carrying my oxygen around all the time that it's lovely to have a good old rub down.
I shall sleep well tonight.
Lots of love Debbie x
Just shows how looks can be deceiving as it looked so sunny and bright, but as soon as you walked outside your ears didn't half twang. Still the drive in was lovely, hardly any traffic until I got nearer the uni and then I did get stuck, it was outside a little cemetery that you don't normally notice when driving. Looking through the cobbley bricked arch and the old wooden gates at the overgrown grasses tinged with frost, it was like looking at a picture postcard.
Also what was cute was the little bunches of roadside snowdrops that I passed on the way into work, they looked like little bunches of random kindness.
Had a massage lunchtime for Mission Croatia. It's where our lovely ex chaplain, some staff and students go over to Croatia to the same children home come hospital each year to help restore it and keep it in working order. I would have loved to go, but I'd be more of a hinderance now. So I did my bit and paid for a fundraising massage and bonus... I feel like I've got a long neck again! I get so round shouldered carrying my oxygen around all the time that it's lovely to have a good old rub down.
I shall sleep well tonight.
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday, 6 March 2010
Good news and new knickers
Hoorah... I can tell people at last. My youngest son is getting married to the beautiful and kindhearted Reni this summer. Yep that's right we have about four months to organise a wedding... doddle.
We went to see the restaurant where they will hold one of the parties and they looked so excited the pair of them. It's so good to have some good news in your life for a change, long may it continue. I can foresee some problems ahead, but for today I will push to the back of my mind and I will face those problems as and when they come knocking.
Mind you for a young man that said he was keeping right out of it and was going to let us organise it, he got mighty upset when Reni said he couldn't have black sparkly bits!
I went to buy some new knickers to celebrate and ended up with two bags of new clothes... They will be going back on Tuesday on my way to physio. I'll put it done to temporary insanity. Most people would believe that, well they might find the temporary bit hard to swallow!
Lots of love Debbie x
We went to see the restaurant where they will hold one of the parties and they looked so excited the pair of them. It's so good to have some good news in your life for a change, long may it continue. I can foresee some problems ahead, but for today I will push to the back of my mind and I will face those problems as and when they come knocking.
Mind you for a young man that said he was keeping right out of it and was going to let us organise it, he got mighty upset when Reni said he couldn't have black sparkly bits!
I went to buy some new knickers to celebrate and ended up with two bags of new clothes... They will be going back on Tuesday on my way to physio. I'll put it done to temporary insanity. Most people would believe that, well they might find the temporary bit hard to swallow!
Lots of love Debbie x
Friday, 5 March 2010
Amazing how good weather on a Friday makes you feel so much more alert and gives you get up and go.
Alright thanks to the plaster incident yesterday, I'm getting up and going a hell of a lot slower and I do resemble John Wayne when I walk, but the lift a sunny gives your mood is brilliant.
I love everyone... ok nearly everyone... and tonight I'm off to see Johnny Depp, does the day get any better?!
Lots of love Debbie x
Alright thanks to the plaster incident yesterday, I'm getting up and going a hell of a lot slower and I do resemble John Wayne when I walk, but the lift a sunny gives your mood is brilliant.
I love everyone... ok nearly everyone... and tonight I'm off to see Johnny Depp, does the day get any better?!
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday, 4 March 2010
7 Things I have learnt today
Learnt 7 helpful things today.
1. To wear water wings at all times on the cruise holiday and sunbathe right by the life boat station, as one liner was struck yesterday by a giant wave and two people died. Weird thing was it was just off France in the Med.. not good, as Madeira has already had mud slides and that's our first port of call! And I thought the cruise holiday was going to be the doddle and all would go wrong with the flying holiday.
2. Me feeling crap could be down to another virus, as Sam's daughter has gone down with something very similar sounding, a rasping cough like a dog barking with a sore throat etc. Sam couldn't stop sneezing and her eyes running nonstop come lunchtime. We reckon it's because the catkins are out and she has an allergy.
3. Physio makes you feel and breathe so much better... thank you Hannah.
4. Little boil on the top of your leg really does hurt like hell... A plaster on it made it feel better.
5. Duh... Never put a plaster on a boil at the top of your leg! Seriously because when you remove the plaster it hurts like f***, exactly like having a bikini wax and my language was exactly the same too strangely enough! Also found out that the new Avon mascara isn't waterproof, as I resembled Alice Cooper, but with a plaster in my hand rather than a snake!
6. The brand new toothpaste that the dentist recommended yesterday is very, very expensive... better work.
7. Chocolate must be good for your diet, as since giving it up for Lent, I've gained weight... Gawd damn it, my tummy is HUGE!
Lots of love Debbie x
1. To wear water wings at all times on the cruise holiday and sunbathe right by the life boat station, as one liner was struck yesterday by a giant wave and two people died. Weird thing was it was just off France in the Med.. not good, as Madeira has already had mud slides and that's our first port of call! And I thought the cruise holiday was going to be the doddle and all would go wrong with the flying holiday.
2. Me feeling crap could be down to another virus, as Sam's daughter has gone down with something very similar sounding, a rasping cough like a dog barking with a sore throat etc. Sam couldn't stop sneezing and her eyes running nonstop come lunchtime. We reckon it's because the catkins are out and she has an allergy.
3. Physio makes you feel and breathe so much better... thank you Hannah.
4. Little boil on the top of your leg really does hurt like hell... A plaster on it made it feel better.
5. Duh... Never put a plaster on a boil at the top of your leg! Seriously because when you remove the plaster it hurts like f***, exactly like having a bikini wax and my language was exactly the same too strangely enough! Also found out that the new Avon mascara isn't waterproof, as I resembled Alice Cooper, but with a plaster in my hand rather than a snake!
6. The brand new toothpaste that the dentist recommended yesterday is very, very expensive... better work.
7. Chocolate must be good for your diet, as since giving it up for Lent, I've gained weight... Gawd damn it, my tummy is HUGE!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
Catch me while you can!
Very strange, but I seem to have become a wanted woman to the male species just of late... In days of old I was a wanton woman, but since November I have been a model of virtue again. And before that I was near enough a reborn virgin... I swear I had healed over at one point as it had been so long!
But my two ex's seem to be in dire need to keep trying to contact me ever since I told them that I was seeing someone else and we were going to try and make it work. Since then he has disappeared into his own problems and they try and contact me on a daily basis... why!? I don't even answer the texts or calls with one of them, the other I'm friendly enough yes, but not a 'come hither young man to my boudoir' in sight.
I must admit nowadays my idea of being hot in bed is the menopause doing a come back in the middle of the night yet again. Half of me is very tempted to let them back in my life just to see their faces when they see me with my tubes etc... I can imagine one of them hot footing it down the garden path so fast that he'd easily win a gold medal come 2012!
I know sex isn't a problem with this disease. In fact I think it's a turn on for the man as you are breathless before you start, so they think they are real sex machines pressing all the right buttons bless them. But I can't see most men seeing past the nose specs on a first sighting. Men that know me can, but they are all spoken for so I wonder should I give the two another go? What do you think huh?
Lots of love Debbie x
But my two ex's seem to be in dire need to keep trying to contact me ever since I told them that I was seeing someone else and we were going to try and make it work. Since then he has disappeared into his own problems and they try and contact me on a daily basis... why!? I don't even answer the texts or calls with one of them, the other I'm friendly enough yes, but not a 'come hither young man to my boudoir' in sight.
I must admit nowadays my idea of being hot in bed is the menopause doing a come back in the middle of the night yet again. Half of me is very tempted to let them back in my life just to see their faces when they see me with my tubes etc... I can imagine one of them hot footing it down the garden path so fast that he'd easily win a gold medal come 2012!
I know sex isn't a problem with this disease. In fact I think it's a turn on for the man as you are breathless before you start, so they think they are real sex machines pressing all the right buttons bless them. But I can't see most men seeing past the nose specs on a first sighting. Men that know me can, but they are all spoken for so I wonder should I give the two another go? What do you think huh?
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Two shadows
A hard day today.
Started with an ex departmental friend coming in to see us. When I asked how she was as I knew she had been suffering with her asthma, she told me that she had been diagnosed as having bronchiectasis. When I told her that is what I have, her smile fell, she froze and there was a momentary shadow of fear across her face as she knows that I'm on oxygen etc.
I explained that it didn't happen like that in all cases, just unfortunately I was a severe case, but it didn't have to be all doom and gloom. We laughed about silly thinks that had happened to us both.
She went off smiling, but you could see I hadn't improved her day in anyway.
My day got worse when I read my emails. I had an email from my friend's wife from rehab to say that he had passed away last month. We had started rehab together and between them they made it less scary for me and in the end it was great fun, so I looked forward to going there. I think he had pulmonary fibrosis, which is a disease that takes no prisoners. He had fought it by surviving longer than most and in that summer at rehab had touched my life and heart. The three of us had giggled and took the pee out of each other twice a week and ganged up against the physios, mostly behind their backs, because we were too scared of them to do it to their faces. We didn't moan and gave every exercise our best, although there were those that were never happier than when complaining about their lot in life.
There was a shadow of fear across my face then as it makes you contemplate your own mortality and you silence sending yourself up for a couple of minutes to let a few tears fall for a dear friend, his wife and yours truly, as you admit to yourself that you are scared too. Then that moment passes and it's business as usual.
Lots of love my dear friends. God bless. Debbie x
Started with an ex departmental friend coming in to see us. When I asked how she was as I knew she had been suffering with her asthma, she told me that she had been diagnosed as having bronchiectasis. When I told her that is what I have, her smile fell, she froze and there was a momentary shadow of fear across her face as she knows that I'm on oxygen etc.
I explained that it didn't happen like that in all cases, just unfortunately I was a severe case, but it didn't have to be all doom and gloom. We laughed about silly thinks that had happened to us both.
She went off smiling, but you could see I hadn't improved her day in anyway.
My day got worse when I read my emails. I had an email from my friend's wife from rehab to say that he had passed away last month. We had started rehab together and between them they made it less scary for me and in the end it was great fun, so I looked forward to going there. I think he had pulmonary fibrosis, which is a disease that takes no prisoners. He had fought it by surviving longer than most and in that summer at rehab had touched my life and heart. The three of us had giggled and took the pee out of each other twice a week and ganged up against the physios, mostly behind their backs, because we were too scared of them to do it to their faces. We didn't moan and gave every exercise our best, although there were those that were never happier than when complaining about their lot in life.
There was a shadow of fear across my face then as it makes you contemplate your own mortality and you silence sending yourself up for a couple of minutes to let a few tears fall for a dear friend, his wife and yours truly, as you admit to yourself that you are scared too. Then that moment passes and it's business as usual.
Lots of love my dear friends. God bless. Debbie x
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