Bank holiday

Last day of the Bank Holiday and it's a bit of a damp squid out there.

Really glad that it's a log weekend though, as I'm extremely tired again and once again feel like my batteries have been stolen.
Spent part of Saturday with my mother. Cut and styled her hair in the morning so she doesn't look like some little old lady bless her, then back again late afternoon after Oliver's fish and chip run for her, to help him move her furniture around as she's been on about moving it, only to hear her telling Oliver that she actually didn't want it moved in the first place! Grrrgghhh.
Had mother round for lunch on Sunday and I think I slept the whole of the Eastenders omnibus while she watched in delight, saying that she hasn't seen Eastenders for months, which is what she says every weekend at mine.
But I know it's mean, but I won't be letting on it's bank holiday Monday, as I really want a bit of me time. I'll go round and cook her tea as normal, but in the day I'll do what the rest of the family do and that's think of myself.

Went to Julie's after mother's on Saturday night to have a Chinese take away and watch the Eurovision Song Contest. I can't remember the last time I watched it, but we giggled non-stop. We both chose a country, I chose Belgium because it was tasteful and cute and Julie chose Greece, because it was tasteless and you could shout Opa a lot! Which we did, a lot! Shame neither of them won, but I did come up n the final four or five. We were beaten by Germany with a little 'Oh look I'm quirky' girl, singing a blatant rip off of a Lily Allen type song and even with a sketchy attempt at a cockney accent. So United Kingdom, I knew we came last, but we won really, as imitation is the best form of flattery and we did it first!

After six hours mother finally went home on Sunday and I decided I'd slept and felt under the waether and sorry for myself enough, so I decided to take myself off to see Sex and the City 2. It was good fun. Predictable, but fun.
I always feel such a frump though after watching SatC, but no wonder Samantha has so many hot flushes with the amount of heavy jewellery she wears around her neck. I would have been clawing them off when I was full flush! I guess her fabulous floaty dresses, which I have to say would be polyester if I was having to pay for them, would no doubt be 100% pure silk on her budget, which is great for hot flushes. See even the menopause is easier to bear if you are rich! But I'm happy to say and this does sound very bitchy, but I did see a few lines on the girls, which didn't make me feel so bad or frumpy after all!

Lots of love Debbie x

One disaster too many.

Some days you really should stay in bed I've decided and today has been a prime example of why.

Yesterday ended really well after a dodgy start. My dress for the wedding arrived from M&S online and unfortunately was a bit snug, wearable, but made life difficult doing up a very stiff zip. I would have ended up doing a dance around the bedroom each time, looking like a demented crab with arms flailing about while trying to reach and pull at zip up at the same time.
I ended up flat out on the bed afterwards gasping for breath, so that baby had to go back, which was a pain as I had to get on my friend's card as they didn't accept Visa Electron for online ordering.
Called M&S and no dresses left in that size or god forbid the size larger. Ok looks like I'm going to have to start again.

I then popped into Freeport and managed to find a lovely dress and little jacket in a beautiful peacock blue/green colour and the zip just flew up! I also happened to find another two dresses that just insisted on coming home with me, but as I had sold five dresses at work the previous day, I didn't feel too guilty.

This now meant that I had to take the M&S one back to the town in my lunch break, which is what I wanted to avoid and is why I went online in the first place. Of course I couldn't get parked anywhere near the shop and ended up walking from the Meadows car park which for someone who isn't on oxygen is fair trot let alone me. Got to Marks knackered, explained to assistant my plight and was told no money back as it wasn't done on my card, but I could exchange or have vouchers.
Ok I needed a summer quilt as other quilt too hot now and I found a black dress that I didn't really need, but what the heck. Went to pay and as there was still £25 left over, she would put back on my card, because as there was no card details on the form/reciept it's self, she could pretend she didn't know... durrr why didn't that other lady say that before I got the dress!
Never mind, saved some money in the end and got a little black number that does actually look very nice and will always come in handy.

Returned back to car park absolutely shattered. Got my chip zapped at the disability office in the car park and drove to the car park exit to get out and it wouldn't let me out.
Of course I then dropped the chip under the car to where I couldn't reach it again. Asked the man in the little office if he could help and was told that it wasn't his job, he only washed cars and he was busy. I explained again that I couldn't reach and hello I really, really needed help please as my oxygen wasn't a fashion accessory!
Pushed the button for help and was told that I hadn't got the chip zapped. 'But I have' I cried 'in the disability office.' Apparently that's not enough, you have to get it zapped through another machine, so I'd have to walk back to the other side of the car park and do it...Grrrgh I explained that I was on oxygen and was really not coping well and my chip had rolled under the car and the nasty car wash man wouldn't help me, please couldn't you just lift the barrier, as I really thought I was about to cry like a baby... No... Bastards.
Nasty car wash man then felt sorry for me, as he was busy leaning up the wall listening to what was happening and he eventually got my chip, but I still had to walk across to other side of car park to get the said chip zapped again.

Got back to work, vowing that I would never ever go to the town again on my own and Sam reminded me that I said that last time... Oh yes I remember now, that trip was a nightmare too.
Thought I needed just to sit still for a while in a quiet office to get my breath back, but needed to spend a penny first. While sitting on the loo, I thought that my necklace label was a spider so I jumped up and peed down my leg! Life doesn't get better than this does it!

Lots of love Debbie x

Peppermint tea v brazil nuts!

So much for being a domestic goddess.

I was up half the night with heartburn thanks to a handful of brazil nuts and some rotten cat has dug up two of my newly planted pots and trampled on my busy lizzies.

I thought brazil nuts were supposed to be good for you, these damn things near on killed me last night with the pain and I woke up looking like shite yet again.
Forgot just how bad heartburn is, even my brandy last night didn't cure it, but Kay's peppermint tea for elevenses did.
Thank you Kay for the teabag and thank you Sam for being brave enough to sit next to me after I'd drank a large cup full of strong pepperment tea, as there was no telling how that baby was going to work!

Very happy with work today, as I took in some of my dresses for the lovely Andrina to model for me. Ok I had to bulldog clip the back of dresses in by about a foot, before taking the photos to put on ebay as I am at least three sizes bigger than her, but I would have never sold them if I was the model, I would have looked gross like something from 'Reader's Wives', but with clothes on! And I sold the lot in the office without even having the hassle of pressing one button for ebay... yay I can pay for my wedding outfit with the cash made. Mind you my wardrobe is looking very spartan at the moment!

So on the whole the good outweighed the bad today and after all I can sleep tonight anyway, but watch out moggy I haven't forgotten you!

Lots of love Debbie x

Just call me a domestic goddess.. oh yes!

Ah the great British weekend is over and what a lovely, but busy weekend it was too. Fab weather which makes everything so much better and gives you so much more energy.

I managed to do all my housework on Saturday morning, bar the front room window which had to wait until I got home tonight. I worked like a little demon. Washing done and on the line. Every room polished and dusted. Bath and mirrors sparkling clean and even the cobwebs brushed off the ceiling corners. The went on to make Mediterranean roasted veggies for Matt's BBQ tomorrow and still fitted a trip to the cinema to watch Bruce Willis, not to clean it silly. No doubt about it I am a domestic goddess!

Sunday I went to church in the morning with Reni to chat to the minister about the wedding... why do they have church at some ungodly time such as 10am? I'm sure more people would go if it was 30mins or an hour later, or is that just me being a heathen?

Went on to my nephew Matt's BBQ which was a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon, even if he did say I looked like a 80's disco glitter ball in my new sparkly t-shirt the little sod! He's been calling me Alan Carr for over a year now thanks to my buck teeth and what were my fashionable glasses in their time! I was in such a mellow mood when I got home that I turned back into a domestic goddess again and spent a happy 30mins ironing while watching TV.
Didn't even get that stressed when I found huge spider in my bathroom, sitting on my towel... yuk... why now, far too early for spiders? They said at work, that it was because it's too hot for them and they come in for a cool down. Can't help but think that this one was so big it had squatters rights and I did go to bed with my trusty spider catcher close by just in case it used it's grappling irons to skimmy up the wall to break in through my open windows!

Needless to say with all the housework and one eye open for part of the night on spider watch, I was knackered this morning and had real trouble waking up and not only did I have to go to work, but I had to go to rehab afterwards. Hell I hated exercise before I was ill and here I am doing it in high temperatures... are they mad making us do this?! One of the old girls in my class told me that since leaving school 65 years ago, she's escaped doing exercise and now she is 82 and on oxygen, she having to do it twice a week! She is such a sweetie bless her. We do have a giggle in these classes, well we did until I got cramp in my calf muscle and then she didn't think I was as innocent as she first thought after exclaiming how much it hurt in Debbie talk!

Still I returned home and after sorting out mother's dinner, I washed my front room window and then had to cut a hedge back as I had trouble getting my wheelie bin down the side of my house. Why is it that one job turns into another and then another?
So all you fit people, no moaning that you are tired. This domestic goddess is now hanging up her toga and is going to pour herself out a brandy!

Los of love Debbie x

Sad news

Think I am actually moving away from being a technophobe at long last as I managed after only three days of trying to load my photos on to my computer. Now I just have to get them off again and on to a CD.

Not holding out a lot of hope there though, as I was useless in Tescos downloading some of my favourite photos. I didn't realise they came out in two places so I ended up with duplicate photos and a bigger bill than I actually wanted, plus standing there for ages trying to find out exactly where they came out in the first place! a bit like you've been framed.

Have ordered my dress for Oliver's and Reni's wedding today too, a lovely jade green one. Just hope it fits when it comes.

Heard some sad news today. A young girl that I've known since she was little, died yesterday. I think she was only in her late 30's. When I told my ex, he surprised me by saying he could remember her and her twin sister walking down our road to school, the same age as her eldest daughter is now.
It was a mixture of sadness and smiles to remember her like that and it brought back memories of me cutting their hair in the days that I was hairdressing at home. I'd always try and cut their hair slightly different so I could tell them apart. Never worked though. She was always so kind to me whenever I met her, never too busy for a chat.
Their dad died when he wasn't a lot older than her now and I remember that day so clearly. Sadness follows some families around which seems so grossly unfair.

I wish her peace and to her twin sister, her children, mother and brother strength and in time, happy memories of her that will never fade.

Lots of love Debbie x

Ol Scaly skin

New thing I learnt today. Don't rub your eye when wearing those gloves that look like and feel like scouring pads and are designed to buff up your skin. I can't spell what they are called and I have a sore eye to boot!
Thought I'd give my horrible dry flaky skin a treat in the bath this morning. Yes it really is that dry, if I add creams or oils to it, it's sucked in before I've put the lid back on the bottle.
This is what becomes of having no man in my life to buff my skin up for and before all you happy to be single ladies tell me off and say that I should be doing for myself... I say bumholes I'm too lazy! Ok I know the weather is at long last getting warmer and I shouldn't scare old ladies and young children with my scaly legs, so yes I will be good and do them regularly from now on.

After hauling my scaly skin and sore red eye into the car to go to work, I had to drop into the hospital on the way to get my months supply of drugs.
I had the drive in from hell!
I swear every lorry driver in the country saw me coming and decided to pull out in front of me. Maybe they were cbing each other to warn each other I was coming and my call name is 'Ol scaly snake' or 'one red eye'. If it wasn't the lorries, it was road works everywhere... arrrgghh and that was before I drove around and around the hospital car park.

Blimey it was a joy to get into work for peace and sanity... yeah right!

Lots of love Debbie x

Wise Miss Scarlett

A slightly better day at work today. Was really so crestfallen after yesterdays work that after re-hab and my chores, I just took to my bath and ignored any phones.

Losing a file may not seem like life or death and I was so sure that our computer bods would find it easy peasy, that I wanted to throw up when the whizz kid who I trust announced that he's never known that to happen to anyone before. I didn't want to break uncharted ground in the computer world, I just wanted my file back.

I went on to my re-hab class which was hard work doing exercises when you feel that you have lead weights instead of feet, oxygen levels of 88 on oxygen, balance had definitely gone out the window and then some of the information that I was being told was different to what I had been told earlier.

I think yesterday should have been a duvet day for me, but you can't win them all.

Today my head was a lot clearer and my balance was a wee bit better, so I was ready to try again. Got a new nasal spray from the doctor's so hopefully that might clear things. Laughed more today and it wasn't a hysterical laugh which is always a bonus!

In the words of Scarlett O'Hara 'Tomorrow is another day' so lets hope the week keeps getting better.

Lots of love Debbie x

To sell or not to sell

Normal story, still been feeling really tired etc, so that's all a bit boring.

In a very ditherer sort of mood at the moment. Still dithering about going blonde again and still can't quite get the dresses to ebay out the wardrobe either.

Every time I look at old photos of me blonde, I have the urge to colour it again. Truth is I guess I didn't just look younger in the photos... I was younger and tanned and fit. Some of them yes I did look tired in, but I'd probably been partying way too hard again! And strangely enough my hair was about the same length as it is now and I've been moaning non-stop about it this time.
So I don't know what to do.

I actually managed to get back in my black cords without too much of a bloomer loaf rather than a muffin top and actually move about in them, which is a bonus, so some of the holiday booze abuse must be coming off at last. This will not help with my battle with myself to part with the dresses as if they fit better, I'll weaken and still have a wardrobe full of stuff I never wear.

Still getting weepy at my favourite tv programme each Friday, Gray's Anatomy. Every time I watch it there is a heart transplant on it and I end up crying into my brandy and coke! Must get into watching Corrie instead, far less draining!

Well off to the Bowls Club Sunday Lunch with mother. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

Lots of love Debbie x

Grrrrrrrrr!

Must be a full moon or something tonight as I'm really cross... Family... arrrggghhh that's all I'll say on that matter! But Oooo I feel a lot better just saying that!

Lots of love Debbie x

Truffles and kangaroos

Just watching Jamie Oliver truffle hunting on his lovely programme and getting helpful hints. Julie says if I'm on the transplant list for ages and they have to shove a pig's heart in me, she'll take me truffling at Christmas and make a fortune! My 'Cor blimey' cockney best friend can always see a plan to make a quick buck, I think she must be related to Del Trotter!

I've decided that another way of making a quick buck is to ebay and sell all my posh frocks with low necklines, as once I've had the op I'm going to have an impressive scar there and don't want to put people off their meals. Plus I'm a fat git and they are mega tight across the tummy at the moment!

Had my physio today by the lovely Sadie. She came bursting up my path in shorts and her hair in bunches. She's got a golden brown tan and looks like she should be riding a kangaroo instead of a four wheel drive. I on the other hand had my winter coat on and woolly socks! I really feel like someone has removed batteries from me as I am so tired and bloody cold all the time. I guess 10 days of being waited on hand and foot by the girls and now having look after myself again has had an effect.
Had to cancel going to Brighton to see Jenni unfortunately today as I just know with how I feel at the moment that I'd have to have time off to get over them weekend with Jean and Jenni. I feel crap letting them down, ut as they say we can meet up another time and hopefully she is coming down soon to Essex.

Lots of love Debbie x

VCs day

Ah my legs and arms have seized up thanks to sitting at the VCs conference all day. I'm going to be walking more like a zombie now than Toy Story's Woody.
Actually had to be elbowed from Lesley at one point mid afternoon as I was working up to a giant snore.
I did think about making a run for it in the morning and going back to work, but my boss met me and walked with me to the workshop room... Gosh I was so near that front door... and I think maybe she realised that.

I guess some people like conferences and get a lot from them... me, they scare me senseless. I always feel that I shouldn't really be there, that all the people will turn round pointing their fingers at me while shouting 'Impostor! What do you know about anything?'

Slept for a solid hour when I got home. Must go to sleep again now!

Lots of love Debbie x

Don't mix toilet cleaner and exercise

Back to rehab today in earnest. Gave it my best shot at sit to stands, squats, side arm raises where you are attached to a gigantic lackey band (elastic band for the posh amongst us!) and other forms of torture. So tomorrow I'm betting that I won't be able to move properly. It will be the weird sensation again where your legs feel that they are on backwards and you walk like Woody from Toy Story.
Please someone tell me how feeling this tired afterwards is suppose to be good for you? But I've got to get big and strong for the op and so far I've only got the big part in hand.

Where I was so tired, I forgot that I had left my vent stream in my bathroom sink to soak in diluted bleach to kill 99% of all known germs. I was on the phone to Barbara and wondered why my bungalow smelt like the local swimming baths... crap I had left them soaking for over an hour and it actually stung my hands when I got the equipment out the water.
So I reckon I've ruined yet more NHS equipment and tomorrow I could be sucking in (hopefully) very diluted toilet cleaner. Won't be thrush in my throat this time... I could be lucky to have a throat if my stinging fingers are anything to go by.
I can just see my sick note for work this time... reason for absence... Sucking in toilet cleaner and unable to walk because of back to front legs from exercise.

Neat... Wonder if it will get me out of the VC's conference tomorrow?????

Lots of love Debbie x

A quiet weekend... Not

The weekend is nearly over and I'm still really, really tired and need just one more day to recuperate.

Woke up to what I think is called a hung Parliament on Friday morning. In my book none of the leaders were very inspiring, but I won't get my knickers in a twist like some folk were doing today. Hand wringing and head shaking isn't my thing anymore. What happens happens; deal with it, that much I have learnt over the past few years. We are very adaptable creatures when the chips are down and actually nothing remains the same forever.
Probably get as far as my transplant and whoever is in power then will pull the plug... 'Oops sorry no funds'. Well I've done well so far, what will be will be.

Friday was my first day back at work and I came home drained, but still had to shop for the girlie's meal, make sure mother had eaten and then cook for us. Ok I know it was only a pre-cooked meal, but I was desperate to sleep on the sofa although I needed to see the girls too. Weird how you get withdrawal symptoms from your girlfriends at the end of a holiday.

Went to London to see 'Legally Blonde' with Jean on Saturday. Really enjoyed it a fab show. We shopped, watched buskers in Covent Garden and then I treated her to lunch as a birthday present. A great day out although still very tired.
Had a bit of a disaster in the second half of the play when I thought I had; oh the shame of it, a drippy nose and it turned out to be a nose bleed... all down my favourite top. Had to sneak into the loo and turn my top around otherwise it would have looked like Jean had slapped me one, which she was near to when I made a dash for it across the busy road outside dragging her with me!

Today I ache all over and my nose is still bleeding on and off. My right arm really aches and gosh even my nipples hurt... what the hell is causing that I wonder? Any ideas out there please?

Lots of love Debbie x

Independence of the Seas

Yay I sailed the Seven Seas and survived, ok I'm exaggerating again I know as it wasn't seven seas more like two and a bit I think. I don't really know, as I don't know whether the Bay of Biscay is a whole sea or what, but what I do know is it can be very dodgy out there and I'm back!

I'm sitting here swaying a bit still... weird as when I stand I feel like I'm leaning into a slope... and I'm also sitting here sporting the worst haircut ever. Honestly I look like those women at the end of World War 2 who had fraternised with the other side and had their hair hacked off. Only difference being is they got to have sex and I paid hard earned cash instead for the privilege of looking like a rat has been gnawing at my hair!

I do however recommend cruising, they are so prepared for disabled people with any problems. Half an hour if that to check in and be on board the most amazing ship that I've ever seen and everything in your cabin ready and away you go. And I am a real panickier, but it was so smoothly done.

I did I'm ashamed to say have a couple of meltdown moments. Firstly letting go. Where I had less oxygen to take away with me then hoped, we decided that I should stay in my chair as much as possible and let my friends push me around and fetch and carry. A perfectly sensible idea, but after a couple of days I felt that I was not pulling my weight and that no one would want to go away again with me as I was hard work. After all they had paid all that money for a holiday too and they were having to push me everywhere and run about for me. This first meltdown was after a second bad night of sleeping.
I was petrified that Ann wouldn't be able to sleep with the noise of the concentrator.
This was an empty worry, as I have never met anyone that as soon as they put their head down, that they start snoring in a deep sleep. That can't actually be normal, but that's another story. But me being me every time she stopped snoring I thought she was laying there wide awake wishing that the machine would shut up.
So I got tearful through being tired and not being able to earn my keep so to speak.

A very kind and sensible Derek sat and talked me thorough the fact is wasn't that I was being bad tempered (which I thought I was and the girls are probably agreeing with me if reading this), but he said that I was feeling tearful because I was frustrated I was not in control of my own life anymore. He told me that we were all there because we all liked holidaying together and they wanted to help me otherwise they wouldn't be there and would have left me on top deck by now. So what if I needed the loo again or I had forgotten my sweatshirt, friends help each other. When put like that... snap out of it Debbie.

Still having a sea of crutches and backsides at your eye level is more than a bit daunting at times and yes I did put the brake on when Julie was pushing me, causing her to nearly land on my lap. But she had just run over a ladies foot five minutes earlier and the old boy in front of me was getting dangerously near and oe of the many slaps round the back of my head warned me not to pull that stunt again! Yes I did panic when I felt too crowded in, but I would have felt like that even out of a wheelchair to be honest.

The second meltdown was when we were in Vigo, Spain. We had had a really good walk about and I had got used to hearing Julie sounding like she was going to have an asthma attack behind me. Then she would get to where we were going and lit up another fag bless her!
We then came back to the ship to see a queue a mile long to get thorough customs back to the two ships that were in dock and plus two steep slopes to conquer.
We had decided that if we had a gap in front of us, it would make getting up the slopes easier. This time it was Ann's turn even though I did offer to get out and push myself.
Out from the crowd comes a strong knight not in shining armour, but a baseball cap, who offered to push me up the first slope... brilliant we thought... err wrong. The man turned into a complete idiot who kidnapped me and run up both slopes yelling 'get out the way, wheelchair coming thorough' and knocked people who were queuing quietly out of his way.
I was mortified. I screamed at him to stop, which seemed to excite him and make him run faster and when I got to the top, it was a toss up to either thump the shite out of him or crying... I chose the latter.
I wanted to ask him in what universe was it ok to basically to use someone as a human battering ram to get to the front of a queue. Instead I snarled at him thorough gritted teeth 'don't ever touch my chair again'. Ann came puffing and panting up the slope behind him and took charge of my chair again, apologising profusely to everyone.
A very kind American lady told me not to worry, that she was sure the old man behind her would grow another leg and be able to walk again, that was of course once he was able to get up from his coma on the floor... no she didn't say that, but she did say that everyone gathered that he wasn't actually with me by my screams!

Right that's the meltdown moments over and now I can tell you how wonderful it was to sit in the sunshine in a hot jacuzzi over looking the sapphire blue sea and pinching myself, because I never thought that I'd ever get abroad again with my friends.
Giggling your heads off after getting addicted to frozen Mojitos and blessing whoever invented cocktail hour.
Or Julie deciding it was a brilliant idea to push me around the top deck in a force 6gale. It will be bracing she said and it was, especially when we got to the other end of the ship and the doors to the lifts were locked because of the strong winds and we had to do the journey back down the whole length of the ship again. Bless her she looked like Buster Keaton in the film where he was straining to walk in a gale. All I could hear was her wheezing behind me. Ann was trying to chase her cigarettes and lighter as they had blown out of her pockets as her cardigan blew over her head. Her seapass was the casualty as that was blown overboard as her cigarettes were far more important than getting into our room! No one could speak at the time as all our faces were pulled back with the G-force!
Luckily we managed to get back in through the doors we started from and then I had to administer my oxygen to Julie who was slumped against a wall turning blue! That was before she owned up that at one time, the wind had actually blown me out of her grip... I would have withheld my oxygen if I had known that!

The only single man that I actually spoke to was with his mother and he seemed quite chatty. Met him and his mother in the Jacuzzi and then a couple of times more. I thought what a caring man, he can't be all that bad... and then I saw him dance. Oh my goodness. Am I really so picky that there was no way that I could ever be interested in a man that looked like someone having an epileptic fit while doing Morris dancing?! I guess I must so, because after all, I'm the catch of the century... not!

We had an amazing trip around Lanzarote or however you spell it, which proved that I was a wimp. There's no way I would live on an island that blew up that many times. I would have been in a little boat paddling for all I was worth. We got burnt in Gran Canaria and even now when I take off my t-shirt, there's a shower of dry skin... yuk. Still at least I didn't look like Madge lookalike from the tv programme Benidorm who was sitting topless on the beach. I think I may be scarred for life after that sight. Darling, the pickled walnut look ain't this seasons look believe me.

I'm proud to say that I clapped like a silly girl when Captain Thao was lowered down on a floating bridge to address us all one night. And yes I am proud to say that I moved my chair deliberately, so the fat arsed female who stood in front of me at the parade, caught her ankles on the chair a couple of times...Ooops!

Well Julie, Derek and Ann (Oh and Captain Thao) thank you for the best holiday ever. And yes Ann, I still blame you for annoying the hairdresser so much with your 'don't cut too much off' and tears that she took it out on my hair afterwards! At one point we thought the two security guards we saw going in the saloon, were there to forcefully remove you from the chair where you were trying to gather your hair back up even though you looked gorgeous. I guess mine will grow in few years.

Till the next one

Lots of love Debbie x