Gosh waking up is such an adventure just lately! I'm always grateful that I wake up obliviously, but yesterday it was with a stonking headache and today's ailment is ringing in the left ear. The exciting explanation would be that I had slept walked into a nightclub, but I think the bottom line is that I was so tired that I slept like the dead on one side of my head all ight and maybe my ear, gawd forbid, or that both my ears are a wee bit on the waxy side?
Actually the drive into work was beautiful ringing ears or not. It has warmed up a lot since Sunday and was lovely, sunny and bright. Chris Evans was talking about an Indian Summer on the radio this morning and I think he could be right. Made it easier reading the text from Julie in Turkey. If it had been peeing down with rain again, it would have been road rage the whole way, but instead I just reminisced the whole journey in and it made me smile the whole time.
I was telling my sister over lunch yesterday when I fell in love with the country. I explained how Julie and myself had gone to a midnight BBQ at the 'Blue Lagoon' with two other couples, who we remained friends for years afterwards until we just lost contact. We laid back floating in the lagoon where the water was so dark that you couldn't see where the sky ended and the water began and all the dark was speckled with stars rather like being in an infinity mirror. The waiters from the hotel actually waded out into the water with our drinks on trays and served them as we floated. We all went skinny dipping, even Julie and after we ate on the beach (fully dressed!) we danced the night away. I even tried pole dancing on one of the beach umbrellas, but I got over zealous and nearly knocked myself out when I hit the concrete base with a wallop! It was a truly magical evening, well apart from the bump on the head!
I WILL go back and that I promise.
Lots of love Debbie x
About Me
- Me...Debbie Burden... or known as Burders
- I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!
Tuesday 31 August 2010
Monday 30 August 2010
Oh no you're not!
I woke up with a stonking headache this morning and honestly no alcohol had passed my lips last night, but the tube had fell off my oxygen concentrator instead so I was sleeping solo all night.
I know I can sleep without it if I have to, but usually I wake myself up through the night, so I don't go off too deeply. I must have slept in a pretty disturbed state though as the duvet was really tangled up when I woke up.
Had a hot bath to see if that would clear my head and to see if the blue fingers were from the lack of oxygen or the fact that I wasn't covered up properly throughout the night. The verdict came in... It was the lack of oxygen as my fingers were still blue even in the hot bath and gawd I had lovely dark rings around my eyes to match.
I phoned mother up so we didn't have a re-run of yesterday, to remind her again that I would collect her from her bungalow at 12.45 to 1.00pe not to come to mind, but she was really confused saying that my sister Bebe was taking her to my sister Helen's for lunch at 12.45 not me. When I stated that it had been me last night that had told her that, she started shouting that she knew who had told her and I should ring my sister if I didn't believe her. Oh blimey an angry confused mum.
Ok the last time my eldest sister had taken mother anywhere was at the beginning of the year and that was to the doctors! I called Helen to double check if she had invited Bebe to lunch too and was told no, so I was right. Gosh the old girl had me doubting myself now. I called in at mother's about 11.30am as I wanted to see Julie before her and Derek left for Turkey and I wanted to make sure she knew not to come over to mine again. Mother was in the bathroom fully dressed and was in a twis was putting on her make-up as Bebe would be there any moment. To say she was quite hostile was an understatement when I said it was me taking her and that Bebe wasn't going, but in the end I said I would just come over later.
When I did go over later and she had forgotten all about Bebe and was is in a lovely mood ready to go.
We did have a lovely lunch and Helen showed us where she would be staying for the next two months in Portugal. I wished again that I could take up her invite and stay for a couple of weeks, but if I could stay anywhere, it would be Turkey to be perfectly honest. I do worry that I will never get back there again, but it's that hope that keeps me going. Julie has promised me some new Turkish cushion covers for my birthday, so that will bring a little bit of Turkey into my bungalow even if I can't get there this year.
Lots of love Debbie x
I know I can sleep without it if I have to, but usually I wake myself up through the night, so I don't go off too deeply. I must have slept in a pretty disturbed state though as the duvet was really tangled up when I woke up.
Had a hot bath to see if that would clear my head and to see if the blue fingers were from the lack of oxygen or the fact that I wasn't covered up properly throughout the night. The verdict came in... It was the lack of oxygen as my fingers were still blue even in the hot bath and gawd I had lovely dark rings around my eyes to match.
I phoned mother up so we didn't have a re-run of yesterday, to remind her again that I would collect her from her bungalow at 12.45 to 1.00pe not to come to mind, but she was really confused saying that my sister Bebe was taking her to my sister Helen's for lunch at 12.45 not me. When I stated that it had been me last night that had told her that, she started shouting that she knew who had told her and I should ring my sister if I didn't believe her. Oh blimey an angry confused mum.
Ok the last time my eldest sister had taken mother anywhere was at the beginning of the year and that was to the doctors! I called Helen to double check if she had invited Bebe to lunch too and was told no, so I was right. Gosh the old girl had me doubting myself now. I called in at mother's about 11.30am as I wanted to see Julie before her and Derek left for Turkey and I wanted to make sure she knew not to come over to mine again. Mother was in the bathroom fully dressed and was in a twis was putting on her make-up as Bebe would be there any moment. To say she was quite hostile was an understatement when I said it was me taking her and that Bebe wasn't going, but in the end I said I would just come over later.
When I did go over later and she had forgotten all about Bebe and was is in a lovely mood ready to go.
We did have a lovely lunch and Helen showed us where she would be staying for the next two months in Portugal. I wished again that I could take up her invite and stay for a couple of weeks, but if I could stay anywhere, it would be Turkey to be perfectly honest. I do worry that I will never get back there again, but it's that hope that keeps me going. Julie has promised me some new Turkish cushion covers for my birthday, so that will bring a little bit of Turkey into my bungalow even if I can't get there this year.
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 29 August 2010
A relaxing lunch date... not
I am a tired bunny. Stayed up far too late watching the Bee Gee throw back and Rachel Welch in the old film called One Billion Years BC. It was addictive watching as I couldn't stop giggling at it, with her perfectly made up eyes and their coiffured hair. The nice thing was it was shot in Lanzarote's National Park and that brought back warm memories of earlier this year when we went on our cruise. I think I should have recorded it and reminisced today, as I was quite grumpy come lunchtime when I took my mother out.
I don't think it helped when mother turned up an hour early on my doorstep after I just reminded her about 30 minutes previously on the phone that I would come and collect her to save her walking. I was still ironing at that point and no where near ready in my housework clothes with no make-up on. She was in a bad mood too stating she was hungry and where I was feeling tired, all the signs weren't pointing to a relaxing lunch date.
The food was lovely, but the service was a bit on the slow side this week. I tried to put her off of having a sweet too as she had an upset tummy Friday night and I didn't want her to overload it as she had only eaten crackers yesterday. Listen to me? No chance. She ordered even by my standards a very sickly chocolate mousse which took ages to come and then she didn't eat more than two mouth fulls.
She kept talking about a rather obese man on the next table to us in her 'if I talk loudly out the side of my mouth, people will think I'm whispering' voice and I nearly died of embarrassment, when he stood near her to let another diner go by and she said that she hoped he 'didn't blow off in her face' in her loud whispering voice! Oh dear gawd, let the ground open up and swallow me. And to make matters worse it peed down with rain and I had left my washing out on the line.
I am worried about my eldest son too. I can't say why, but I can say if ever I wanted to cuddle him, it was now. Between your children and your parents it's enough to make you grey. Still tonight I will go to bed early as it's really windy outside and it's on the chilly side too, plus an added insult there is bog all on TV. Bank holiday?... whoopie flaming do!
Lots of love Debbie x
I don't think it helped when mother turned up an hour early on my doorstep after I just reminded her about 30 minutes previously on the phone that I would come and collect her to save her walking. I was still ironing at that point and no where near ready in my housework clothes with no make-up on. She was in a bad mood too stating she was hungry and where I was feeling tired, all the signs weren't pointing to a relaxing lunch date.
The food was lovely, but the service was a bit on the slow side this week. I tried to put her off of having a sweet too as she had an upset tummy Friday night and I didn't want her to overload it as she had only eaten crackers yesterday. Listen to me? No chance. She ordered even by my standards a very sickly chocolate mousse which took ages to come and then she didn't eat more than two mouth fulls.
She kept talking about a rather obese man on the next table to us in her 'if I talk loudly out the side of my mouth, people will think I'm whispering' voice and I nearly died of embarrassment, when he stood near her to let another diner go by and she said that she hoped he 'didn't blow off in her face' in her loud whispering voice! Oh dear gawd, let the ground open up and swallow me. And to make matters worse it peed down with rain and I had left my washing out on the line.
I am worried about my eldest son too. I can't say why, but I can say if ever I wanted to cuddle him, it was now. Between your children and your parents it's enough to make you grey. Still tonight I will go to bed early as it's really windy outside and it's on the chilly side too, plus an added insult there is bog all on TV. Bank holiday?... whoopie flaming do!
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday 28 August 2010
Bank Holiday... in the rain
Ok something is wrong here. Have I been asleep longer than I thought or what? I know I am really tired all the time, but did I go to sleep in August and wake up in November, because my nose was ice cold when I woke up his morning. What is going on with the weather for goodness sake... Oo I know, it's the start of the Bank holiday of course!
When I eventually got out of bed I found a cricket stuck in my mozzie net again. Not sure if it's the same one as last time, but if it has a leg missing then yes it is. Long story and I didn't mean it to happen. Went into the kitchen to get a cuppa and there was a dozy wasp laying on the kitchen floor, I guess it was dozy because it was chilly in the kitchen as well as in my bedroom, who knows.
Then back into my bedroom with my morning cuppa only to see one of those really long spindly legged spiders on my pillow, which only confirms that I probably did swallow one the other night in my sleep! God if I wanted to sleep with the critters I would have gone to Colchester zoo to the creepy crawly house, at least it would have been warmer in there.
By the time I had got my act together and set off to get my new glasses sorted, it had warmed up and the sun had come out temporary. Even though the young girl at the opticians must have drawn the short straw to deal with me, she was really pleasant and fiddled about with them, measuring where the lens in the new ones to see where they start varying and in my old ones to see what the difference was. Actually they did seem better with the minor adjustments. It wasn't anywhere near as blurry looking about. She reckoned both pairs were sitting wrong and one pair were sitting quite noticeably one side higher than the other. No doubt my ears are probably not evenly matched. As Ann said everything is going South on me now, so probably one of my ears is following suit! As I didn't bang into any display cabinets or fall over imaginary curves in the floor as I walked about, we agreed that I would give them another trial for another week and see how it goes.
Whether it is the glasses playing tricks or what I don't know, but I'm sitting here watching an old film on tv, Billion Years BC I think. There is a chap in it that looks like one of the BeeGees in a bearskin rug, who in an attempt to walk like a macho cave man is waddling more than swaggering like a telly tubby. Every now and again they fight a super imposed garden animal or domestic pet with pointy sticks, but they are normally pointing their sticks the wrong way. I recognise Rachel Welch as she was extremely fit when this film was shot in her cute rabbit skin bikini and her big back combed hair which has been sprayed within an inch of it's life!
Other than that, day has been fairly straight forward. Fingers turned blue a couple of times, had real trouble breathing and staying awake at one point in the day and felt quite nauseous, so all in all a normal day!
Lots of love Debbie x
When I eventually got out of bed I found a cricket stuck in my mozzie net again. Not sure if it's the same one as last time, but if it has a leg missing then yes it is. Long story and I didn't mean it to happen. Went into the kitchen to get a cuppa and there was a dozy wasp laying on the kitchen floor, I guess it was dozy because it was chilly in the kitchen as well as in my bedroom, who knows.
Then back into my bedroom with my morning cuppa only to see one of those really long spindly legged spiders on my pillow, which only confirms that I probably did swallow one the other night in my sleep! God if I wanted to sleep with the critters I would have gone to Colchester zoo to the creepy crawly house, at least it would have been warmer in there.
By the time I had got my act together and set off to get my new glasses sorted, it had warmed up and the sun had come out temporary. Even though the young girl at the opticians must have drawn the short straw to deal with me, she was really pleasant and fiddled about with them, measuring where the lens in the new ones to see where they start varying and in my old ones to see what the difference was. Actually they did seem better with the minor adjustments. It wasn't anywhere near as blurry looking about. She reckoned both pairs were sitting wrong and one pair were sitting quite noticeably one side higher than the other. No doubt my ears are probably not evenly matched. As Ann said everything is going South on me now, so probably one of my ears is following suit! As I didn't bang into any display cabinets or fall over imaginary curves in the floor as I walked about, we agreed that I would give them another trial for another week and see how it goes.
Whether it is the glasses playing tricks or what I don't know, but I'm sitting here watching an old film on tv, Billion Years BC I think. There is a chap in it that looks like one of the BeeGees in a bearskin rug, who in an attempt to walk like a macho cave man is waddling more than swaggering like a telly tubby. Every now and again they fight a super imposed garden animal or domestic pet with pointy sticks, but they are normally pointing their sticks the wrong way. I recognise Rachel Welch as she was extremely fit when this film was shot in her cute rabbit skin bikini and her big back combed hair which has been sprayed within an inch of it's life!
Other than that, day has been fairly straight forward. Fingers turned blue a couple of times, had real trouble breathing and staying awake at one point in the day and felt quite nauseous, so all in all a normal day!
Lots of love Debbie x
Friday 27 August 2010
Open both doors please... wide load coming through!
I must not lose my temper, I must not lose my temper, I must not lose my temper. This is my mantra for the rest of the year even though I am a fat bloater at the moment and if that isn't enough to make you throw a strop than I don't know what is!
I have a sneaky feeling that come Monday when I know Julie is flying off to Turkey, I will be just like Kevin the Teenager stomping up and down the corridor at work... Ooo I feel sorry for those girlies for the next fortnight until she comes home.
I brought a diet mag on the way home from work, but I don't think reading the articles while eating an ice cream is really showing commitment some how. But I'll wait till payday and then throw myself into it and lose my articulated lorry size spare tyre. I really have to do something asap as I'm getting more and more like my mother's body shape every year, which is fine if you are her age, but she's nearly 93 god damn it!
I don't even think Gok Wan's scaffolding BIG pants will keep this wobble under control. Lord what happens if I am pregnant. The last time I had sex was November which is.. 6, 7 ,8.. 9 months ago! Oh hell this could all be very, very wrong! Maybe I should buy a tester kit tomorrow and a pair of concrete shoes????
Lots of love Debbie x
I have a sneaky feeling that come Monday when I know Julie is flying off to Turkey, I will be just like Kevin the Teenager stomping up and down the corridor at work... Ooo I feel sorry for those girlies for the next fortnight until she comes home.
I brought a diet mag on the way home from work, but I don't think reading the articles while eating an ice cream is really showing commitment some how. But I'll wait till payday and then throw myself into it and lose my articulated lorry size spare tyre. I really have to do something asap as I'm getting more and more like my mother's body shape every year, which is fine if you are her age, but she's nearly 93 god damn it!
I don't even think Gok Wan's scaffolding BIG pants will keep this wobble under control. Lord what happens if I am pregnant. The last time I had sex was November which is.. 6, 7 ,8.. 9 months ago! Oh hell this could all be very, very wrong! Maybe I should buy a tester kit tomorrow and a pair of concrete shoes????
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 26 August 2010
Pep talk time
Ugh... I returned back to work today and somehow work hasn't returned back to me. I fell straight back into the swing of things ok, after all I was only off two weeks no longer than a holiday, but the place just didn't fill me with the normal buzz that I get when I go into work. Perhaps it was because Sam was still on leave, I don't know or maybe my heart just isn't in it anymore. I think that is probably more like it. There have been too many changes in my life just lately and the ones at work are maybe one too many.
I sat and chatted to Kevin who was acting as my runner this afternoon in Sam's absence. He has had a kidney transplant. I told him that I was fed up of being angry and a nag when I spoke, moaning about this, that and the other. And how I had promised myself that I wasn't going to be that person anymore or at least to try and make great strides at attempting not to be. I laughed and said my anger management wasn't working as today as soon as I the lift doors opened into my office, my calm left me and went off back downstairs in the lift!
Kevin very sweetly said that I didn't need anger management as I knew exactly why I was angry and I had every right to be. If people can't deal with it, then tough. And actually he is right. It's bad enough that I have got this disease, and bad enough that one day the very essence of me is going to be taken away from me and I will have someone else's essence inside me instead, but I have to deal with stops and starts too. To worry that I might upset someone by saying the truth that maybe, they are to blame themselves for a lot of their problems or their driving does leave a lot to be desired, is down to them not me! Why should I worry that I might upset them by saying the truth. A lot to think about. Obliviously best not to be as blatant as that, just got to find that happy medium I guess.
What is it they say? Be happy with what you can change and don't stress about what you can't. Or something like that.
Tomorrow is another day and I know I say that most days, but they can't all be crap ones! For the moment I do still see the best in a situation and the best in people, even if they do make it hard sometimes and I don't want that to slip away from me. I know I am brash most of the time, but there is still the childish naivety that things will be alright.
Lots of love Debbie x
I sat and chatted to Kevin who was acting as my runner this afternoon in Sam's absence. He has had a kidney transplant. I told him that I was fed up of being angry and a nag when I spoke, moaning about this, that and the other. And how I had promised myself that I wasn't going to be that person anymore or at least to try and make great strides at attempting not to be. I laughed and said my anger management wasn't working as today as soon as I the lift doors opened into my office, my calm left me and went off back downstairs in the lift!
Kevin very sweetly said that I didn't need anger management as I knew exactly why I was angry and I had every right to be. If people can't deal with it, then tough. And actually he is right. It's bad enough that I have got this disease, and bad enough that one day the very essence of me is going to be taken away from me and I will have someone else's essence inside me instead, but I have to deal with stops and starts too. To worry that I might upset someone by saying the truth that maybe, they are to blame themselves for a lot of their problems or their driving does leave a lot to be desired, is down to them not me! Why should I worry that I might upset them by saying the truth. A lot to think about. Obliviously best not to be as blatant as that, just got to find that happy medium I guess.
What is it they say? Be happy with what you can change and don't stress about what you can't. Or something like that.
Tomorrow is another day and I know I say that most days, but they can't all be crap ones! For the moment I do still see the best in a situation and the best in people, even if they do make it hard sometimes and I don't want that to slip away from me. I know I am brash most of the time, but there is still the childish naivety that things will be alright.
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 25 August 2010
They seek him here, they seek him there...
Day 2 of waiting for the garage to come and swap over cars and day 2 of being disappointed. After my day of being a domestic goddess yesterday I have run out of jobs to do now.
Walked over to mother's this morning to see if I could anything there. Obviously there is plenty, but mother won't let you throw anything away without a fight and I don't actually have the strength to argue with her at the moment.
She is very depressed and I can understand why, as being on your own all the time doesn't help any one's mood. Maybe I should have tried more to gently persuade her to move into shelter accommodation when my brother and sister thought she should move. But at the time she was so anti going because at that point she was coping pretty well on her own and she couldn't face the upheaval of moving. She got very anxious about what furniture would have to go and what she could take, and that was making her fearful. I don't think I have done her any kindness by not pushing her now as she is so lonely, but the worry was making her ill too.
Went and had my hair cut ready for my return to work tomorrow. Reni my daughter in law who normally cuts my hair is working so hard again that I didn't it fair to ask her on her day off. Actually this hairdresser actually cut it really well which gave me a boost. The hair dressers was opposite the sheltered accommodation that my sister wanted mum to go into, so I started worrying about mother all over again. I had rung the council before I went out to the hairdressers to see if they had a handy man service to do her garden at least to cheer her up, but no luck. I'll keep on looking, there must be some one out there who is reliable????
Had my physio this afternoon with Vera the Destroyer. She is a bit concerned that I'm still running hot. Hoping that maybe it is just the pneumonia kick starting my hot flushes again, but there again they were no picnic, so maybe I'd rather have the pneumonia instead! Mind you I'm as bad tempered with or without the menopause, so it's hard to tell what I'm suffering from!
Oh well earlyish to bed tonight so I'll be fresh faced for work tomorrow. Can't say I'm really looking forward to it I'm afraid, I just hope the black cloud that was looming over the workplace has left when I get back there.
Lots of love Debbie x
Walked over to mother's this morning to see if I could anything there. Obviously there is plenty, but mother won't let you throw anything away without a fight and I don't actually have the strength to argue with her at the moment.
She is very depressed and I can understand why, as being on your own all the time doesn't help any one's mood. Maybe I should have tried more to gently persuade her to move into shelter accommodation when my brother and sister thought she should move. But at the time she was so anti going because at that point she was coping pretty well on her own and she couldn't face the upheaval of moving. She got very anxious about what furniture would have to go and what she could take, and that was making her fearful. I don't think I have done her any kindness by not pushing her now as she is so lonely, but the worry was making her ill too.
Went and had my hair cut ready for my return to work tomorrow. Reni my daughter in law who normally cuts my hair is working so hard again that I didn't it fair to ask her on her day off. Actually this hairdresser actually cut it really well which gave me a boost. The hair dressers was opposite the sheltered accommodation that my sister wanted mum to go into, so I started worrying about mother all over again. I had rung the council before I went out to the hairdressers to see if they had a handy man service to do her garden at least to cheer her up, but no luck. I'll keep on looking, there must be some one out there who is reliable????
Had my physio this afternoon with Vera the Destroyer. She is a bit concerned that I'm still running hot. Hoping that maybe it is just the pneumonia kick starting my hot flushes again, but there again they were no picnic, so maybe I'd rather have the pneumonia instead! Mind you I'm as bad tempered with or without the menopause, so it's hard to tell what I'm suffering from!
Oh well earlyish to bed tonight so I'll be fresh faced for work tomorrow. Can't say I'm really looking forward to it I'm afraid, I just hope the black cloud that was looming over the workplace has left when I get back there.
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 24 August 2010
Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!
Have just called the garage again and guess what... they can't come now until tomorrow Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!
Lots of love Debbie x
Lots of love Debbie x
Bored, bored, bored
Hells bells I'm bored. Have been waiting all day for the garage to come and pick up my car and swap it with a courtesy car while they fix my wing mirror. So I have yet another reason to do untold harm to the knob head who thought it would be fun to break it one night, as waiting all day has done nothing for my anger management.
I do have however neatly folded items in my chest of drawers. A lot less clothes as I've donated a bag full for charity tomorrow and another bag full of the good stuff ready for a slim friend, but a colour co-ordinated wardrobe. I have held back three Laura Ashley skirts in the vain hope that after my op, I will lose so much weight from being mobile again that I'll be able to wear them again... Yeah right.
I have a very clean fridge with nothing in it and very clean cupboard selves with nothing on them either. If he doesn't hurry with my car, I will be eating fresh runner beans, pumpkin soup and three tomatoes for my evening meal!
I'll organise my shoes in a minute as I'm running out of chores. I've wiped all the units over twice and wiped down all the light switches. I've even run out of cleaning products too now!
I'll have to do my money spell as it's a full moon tonight and I'm going to need all the money I can get to replenish the kitchen and my wardrobe. Idle hands are clean, but dangerous things!
At least I haven't attacked my hair and coloured it with the hair colour I found in the bathroom! Must keep busy because if I do colour my hair and it goes awfully wrong, there will be some serious butt kicking.
Lots of love Debbie x
I do have however neatly folded items in my chest of drawers. A lot less clothes as I've donated a bag full for charity tomorrow and another bag full of the good stuff ready for a slim friend, but a colour co-ordinated wardrobe. I have held back three Laura Ashley skirts in the vain hope that after my op, I will lose so much weight from being mobile again that I'll be able to wear them again... Yeah right.
I have a very clean fridge with nothing in it and very clean cupboard selves with nothing on them either. If he doesn't hurry with my car, I will be eating fresh runner beans, pumpkin soup and three tomatoes for my evening meal!
I'll organise my shoes in a minute as I'm running out of chores. I've wiped all the units over twice and wiped down all the light switches. I've even run out of cleaning products too now!
I'll have to do my money spell as it's a full moon tonight and I'm going to need all the money I can get to replenish the kitchen and my wardrobe. Idle hands are clean, but dangerous things!
At least I haven't attacked my hair and coloured it with the hair colour I found in the bathroom! Must keep busy because if I do colour my hair and it goes awfully wrong, there will be some serious butt kicking.
Lots of love Debbie x
Monday 23 August 2010
Busy, busy
I had a busy day today, a visit by the police, a plumber and a visit to rehab... Golly I sound like a rock star, well apart the plumber bit.
Started the day with the plumber who caught me off guard as he turned up at 8.30am to mend my toilet rather than 11.40am as told by the help desk. Poor man looked quite alarmed when I came to the door in my nightie and tubes up my nose! But now I have a toilet that flushes every time... Hoorah!
The visit from the police was not me being warned for my stroppy tempers and threatening behaviour, but to take a statement about my wing mirror which was snapped off a little while back by a twat. Of course I didn't admit that I would ram the violators head through drain grill if ever I caught them... it might ruin my sweet little old lady image.
This afternoon I had a run over to Spec Savers to hand in my £55 voucher from work towards my new glasses and straight into the clothes shop opposite and brought a couple of tops with some of the money... That's what I believe the youth of today would call 'Sweet', See I'm still in little old lady mode by calling them 'youths!'
Next I emptied my car ready for tomorrow as the garage will come and take it on a holiday to mend the wing mirror. Took me a while, dragging out the wheelchair and making sure I had everything that I needed for work... Blue badge, parking permit, work bag etc and I found five of those 'green' shopping bags in the boot where I always leave them in the car and end up buying another. And then off to rehab for more exercise. I was quite chuffed with myself as even though I started off with stats of 87, I actually did all the exercises. Ok not for the full 3 minutes on each one, but at least I did each one without moaning. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.
Lots of love Debbie x
Started the day with the plumber who caught me off guard as he turned up at 8.30am to mend my toilet rather than 11.40am as told by the help desk. Poor man looked quite alarmed when I came to the door in my nightie and tubes up my nose! But now I have a toilet that flushes every time... Hoorah!
The visit from the police was not me being warned for my stroppy tempers and threatening behaviour, but to take a statement about my wing mirror which was snapped off a little while back by a twat. Of course I didn't admit that I would ram the violators head through drain grill if ever I caught them... it might ruin my sweet little old lady image.
This afternoon I had a run over to Spec Savers to hand in my £55 voucher from work towards my new glasses and straight into the clothes shop opposite and brought a couple of tops with some of the money... That's what I believe the youth of today would call 'Sweet', See I'm still in little old lady mode by calling them 'youths!'
Next I emptied my car ready for tomorrow as the garage will come and take it on a holiday to mend the wing mirror. Took me a while, dragging out the wheelchair and making sure I had everything that I needed for work... Blue badge, parking permit, work bag etc and I found five of those 'green' shopping bags in the boot where I always leave them in the car and end up buying another. And then off to rehab for more exercise. I was quite chuffed with myself as even though I started off with stats of 87, I actually did all the exercises. Ok not for the full 3 minutes on each one, but at least I did each one without moaning. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 22 August 2010
A mental slap?
Well tomorrow is here and things have settled down again in my head. Had a bally awful night as one; it was so hot and two; there was so much going around in my head, that I couldn't switch off so sleep evaded me until about half three this morning.
I was woken up with a drill for an alarm clock about 9.00am. After muttering about how inconsiderate some neighbours were, I realised it was coming from outside mine! Derek bless him had come to mine to mend the front hanging basket which was coming away from the wall with the weight of all the blooms. One thing I am good at is hanging baskets and pots. Also to put my birthday present to myself up, a Venetian plastic chandelier! I had to promise him not to buy anything else like that as it was a pain to put together, but it looks lovely, plastic or not!
Next visitor was my friend Stella to give my bungalow the once over and to do all the jobs that I struggle with and it looks lovely now and smells so fresh. There was also another smell, lemon drizzle cake and apple cake straight from her oven, so the kitchen smelt like a kitchen should do... yummy.
I guess ok I do need help and a lot of it at times, but as my good friends say, it's karma for never turning my back when help was needed for others. So I must stop this feeling maudlin and start being me again. God help the world if I get my mojo back!
Ooo and 47 cards now Oliver!
Lots of love Debbie x
I was woken up with a drill for an alarm clock about 9.00am. After muttering about how inconsiderate some neighbours were, I realised it was coming from outside mine! Derek bless him had come to mine to mend the front hanging basket which was coming away from the wall with the weight of all the blooms. One thing I am good at is hanging baskets and pots. Also to put my birthday present to myself up, a Venetian plastic chandelier! I had to promise him not to buy anything else like that as it was a pain to put together, but it looks lovely, plastic or not!
Next visitor was my friend Stella to give my bungalow the once over and to do all the jobs that I struggle with and it looks lovely now and smells so fresh. There was also another smell, lemon drizzle cake and apple cake straight from her oven, so the kitchen smelt like a kitchen should do... yummy.
I guess ok I do need help and a lot of it at times, but as my good friends say, it's karma for never turning my back when help was needed for others. So I must stop this feeling maudlin and start being me again. God help the world if I get my mojo back!
Ooo and 47 cards now Oliver!
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday 21 August 2010
Yay... It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want too
Yay my birthday today... In your face pneumonia, bronchiectasis, pseudomonas and any other crap you want to throw at me, it takes a hell of a lot more to keep this mumma down!
Ok Debbie say it enough times and maybe you'll believe it. I've had a lovely day so why did I end up crying three times? I know people like me as I had 43 cards (sorry Oliver for counting them again!) and lots of lovely presents that prove it, so why do I feel so utterly worthless?
I spent a lovely couple of hours at East Mersea for Becky and Ben's party and they presented me with a surprise birthday cake which was very sweet of them. Derek and the gang pushed me over rough grass and back so I could go down to the waters edge and everyone of them needed my oxygen at the end of it.
I even went to my nieces party for a couple of hours tonight to wish her happy 40th and everyone there was lovely and warm to me, well bar one family member but that's another story.
So why do I keep crying? Ok one session was simple because of the above, but the other twice I just feel as if I'm on ever shifting sand and I'm losing control of my life. For a control freak that's not good. Work doesn't help with all this change thats going on. The latest now is we're not allowed holidays in Sept which we've always done before the students come back. That was my main goal to get back to Turkey with my lovely group of friends who I've always gone on holiday in Sept with and now that goal is being stomped on. At last I have found a way of flying and now I can't get insurance for holidaying there even if work would let me go, so two barriers not just one. Then there is this frigging away day for work that scares me. Yes scares me. I'm not me being a prima donna by not wanting to go, but they actually worry the life out of me now, as I am out of my comfort zone and my comfort zone is very important to me. Nothing is straight forward anymore and just when you feel safe, you feel like you are in an egg timer that someone has come along and turned so everything is shifting again.
Have you ever felt that you just want to pack up and move millions of miles away and start again with a new identity? Well that's how I feel, but why I have no idea what good that would do me, as when I wake up in the morning I'll still be me and still be angry with life.
I guess that is the crux of the matter, I am angry at life, angry because I need to feel safe and I don't at the moment. And it's my birthday and everything should be perfect on my birthday and it isn't and never will be. And I hate being this fucking cry baby wimp.
Thank you for my presents and cards, but most of all thank you for liking me and some of you for even loving me and tomorrow I'll try and grow up I promise. As Scarlet O'Hara says 'Tomorrow is another day!'
Lots of love Debbie x
Ok Debbie say it enough times and maybe you'll believe it. I've had a lovely day so why did I end up crying three times? I know people like me as I had 43 cards (sorry Oliver for counting them again!) and lots of lovely presents that prove it, so why do I feel so utterly worthless?
I spent a lovely couple of hours at East Mersea for Becky and Ben's party and they presented me with a surprise birthday cake which was very sweet of them. Derek and the gang pushed me over rough grass and back so I could go down to the waters edge and everyone of them needed my oxygen at the end of it.
I even went to my nieces party for a couple of hours tonight to wish her happy 40th and everyone there was lovely and warm to me, well bar one family member but that's another story.
So why do I keep crying? Ok one session was simple because of the above, but the other twice I just feel as if I'm on ever shifting sand and I'm losing control of my life. For a control freak that's not good. Work doesn't help with all this change thats going on. The latest now is we're not allowed holidays in Sept which we've always done before the students come back. That was my main goal to get back to Turkey with my lovely group of friends who I've always gone on holiday in Sept with and now that goal is being stomped on. At last I have found a way of flying and now I can't get insurance for holidaying there even if work would let me go, so two barriers not just one. Then there is this frigging away day for work that scares me. Yes scares me. I'm not me being a prima donna by not wanting to go, but they actually worry the life out of me now, as I am out of my comfort zone and my comfort zone is very important to me. Nothing is straight forward anymore and just when you feel safe, you feel like you are in an egg timer that someone has come along and turned so everything is shifting again.
Have you ever felt that you just want to pack up and move millions of miles away and start again with a new identity? Well that's how I feel, but why I have no idea what good that would do me, as when I wake up in the morning I'll still be me and still be angry with life.
I guess that is the crux of the matter, I am angry at life, angry because I need to feel safe and I don't at the moment. And it's my birthday and everything should be perfect on my birthday and it isn't and never will be. And I hate being this fucking cry baby wimp.
Thank you for my presents and cards, but most of all thank you for liking me and some of you for even loving me and tomorrow I'll try and grow up I promise. As Scarlet O'Hara says 'Tomorrow is another day!'
Lots of love Debbie x
Friday 20 August 2010
27 and counting
After an action packed day yesterday with appointments at the doctors, the hospital and physio session times two... yes I know how to live... sleep came very easily to me. I won't say I slept like a baby, as my babies never bloody slept through the night until they were nearly starting school, so I sleep like a baby every night normally, in fits and starts!
But it does look like one of Sam's old wives tales and 'did you knows' might actually be true for a change. She does come out with some random facts at time to the likes of which will have you looking at her in disbelief as she's so deadly serious.
Anyway. I was in a lovely deep sleep and luckily I woke up as I was gasping for breath as I started having one of those coughing fits where you can't actually breath as you have swallowed something the wrong way. So is Sam's fact of we swallow in our sleep at least nine spiders in each person's life time true?????? And had I just swallowed the one or had my life time's quota in one night?????? What ever it was made me sick through coughing!
Still I survived after doing a quick recky around the bedroom for other creepy crawlies and ready to face another round of hospital visits today. Lynn was very impressed with the monthly carrier bag of drugs that I had to pick up from the hospital!
I had another busy day too of visitors coming to see me for my birthday which is tomorrow. I now have a cake stand full (well almost full as I had to try them out... quite a few times!) of birthday cupcakes from Barbara. Jean brought all the pressies from work for me which took two trips to and from the car, and I'm afraid I did open them this evening, but thank you very much ladies for spoiling me!
I had lots of lovely cards and have promised Oliver not to count them as he reckons I'm turning into nanny bragging about how many I had... but I've got 27 so far, Ooops sorry Oliver!
Julie cooked a lovely tea for us at mine and we ended up with two desserts. I am now feeling very full. Ann brought her new grand daughter round for a cuddle too.
So all in all a fab day, but I am now one very, very tired bunny.
Lots of love Debbie x
But it does look like one of Sam's old wives tales and 'did you knows' might actually be true for a change. She does come out with some random facts at time to the likes of which will have you looking at her in disbelief as she's so deadly serious.
Anyway. I was in a lovely deep sleep and luckily I woke up as I was gasping for breath as I started having one of those coughing fits where you can't actually breath as you have swallowed something the wrong way. So is Sam's fact of we swallow in our sleep at least nine spiders in each person's life time true?????? And had I just swallowed the one or had my life time's quota in one night?????? What ever it was made me sick through coughing!
Still I survived after doing a quick recky around the bedroom for other creepy crawlies and ready to face another round of hospital visits today. Lynn was very impressed with the monthly carrier bag of drugs that I had to pick up from the hospital!
I had another busy day too of visitors coming to see me for my birthday which is tomorrow. I now have a cake stand full (well almost full as I had to try them out... quite a few times!) of birthday cupcakes from Barbara. Jean brought all the pressies from work for me which took two trips to and from the car, and I'm afraid I did open them this evening, but thank you very much ladies for spoiling me!
I had lots of lovely cards and have promised Oliver not to count them as he reckons I'm turning into nanny bragging about how many I had... but I've got 27 so far, Ooops sorry Oliver!
Julie cooked a lovely tea for us at mine and we ended up with two desserts. I am now feeling very full. Ann brought her new grand daughter round for a cuddle too.
So all in all a fab day, but I am now one very, very tired bunny.
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 19 August 2010
Not a dull moment
Ooo what a day, gone from being in my pjs all day to driving to the doctors, then driving to my first physio session at St.Michael's and then driving to my second physio session at Chelmsford. Blimey I'm now knackered!
The doctors was to have a chat about what to do next. I'm supposed to return back to work tomorrow as my self certificated week will be up, but no way am I ready as my lungs have only just started clearing properly. Luckily she agreed and signed me off for another week, but she put 'chest infection' on my certificate. Bloody chest infection? Since when has pneumonia been classed as a chest infection!? When I asked her, she said well that is what pneumonia is. Well that sounds a bit tame compared to strepoccal pneumoniae, so I'm plumping for the latter thank you very much! But we both agreed on that's why my sleep pattern might well have been up the creek with pneumonia bubbling away in my lungs underneath the pseudomonas.
Went off to see Vera the Destroyer for my chest pummelling this afternoon. I always end up laughing so much with her that I clear my lungs that way. This time I think the four foot nothing, one woman mean machine was training for Nottinghill Carnival as she was definitely getting down with the percussion beats on my sides. All she needed was a head full of feathers and a sparkling bikini over her nursy outfit and she'd be there! They are really lovely there and Vera is a star. I know I take the rise out of her, but she has a heart of gold. I came away with full instructions of what to do next, rest, another sample, keep out of trouble etc.
Next was physio on my shoulder. Thankfully it is improving and I can move it easier without the wincing and I have been doing my exercises which is very good considering I have felt pants all week. Had some acupuncture which helped a lot last time, so fingers crossed it will help again.
I came home from there absolutely shattered, yawning all the way. Thankfully Greta appeared at my door like meals on wheels bless her.
So just my glasses to sort out now as I'm sure they are too strong and hopefully my body will be on track again. Just hope they don't stick acupuncture needles in me, which I'm sure they'd love to shove red hot needles in my eyes as I've been a right moaner with them!
Lots of love Debbie x
The doctors was to have a chat about what to do next. I'm supposed to return back to work tomorrow as my self certificated week will be up, but no way am I ready as my lungs have only just started clearing properly. Luckily she agreed and signed me off for another week, but she put 'chest infection' on my certificate. Bloody chest infection? Since when has pneumonia been classed as a chest infection!? When I asked her, she said well that is what pneumonia is. Well that sounds a bit tame compared to strepoccal pneumoniae, so I'm plumping for the latter thank you very much! But we both agreed on that's why my sleep pattern might well have been up the creek with pneumonia bubbling away in my lungs underneath the pseudomonas.
Went off to see Vera the Destroyer for my chest pummelling this afternoon. I always end up laughing so much with her that I clear my lungs that way. This time I think the four foot nothing, one woman mean machine was training for Nottinghill Carnival as she was definitely getting down with the percussion beats on my sides. All she needed was a head full of feathers and a sparkling bikini over her nursy outfit and she'd be there! They are really lovely there and Vera is a star. I know I take the rise out of her, but she has a heart of gold. I came away with full instructions of what to do next, rest, another sample, keep out of trouble etc.
Next was physio on my shoulder. Thankfully it is improving and I can move it easier without the wincing and I have been doing my exercises which is very good considering I have felt pants all week. Had some acupuncture which helped a lot last time, so fingers crossed it will help again.
I came home from there absolutely shattered, yawning all the way. Thankfully Greta appeared at my door like meals on wheels bless her.
So just my glasses to sort out now as I'm sure they are too strong and hopefully my body will be on track again. Just hope they don't stick acupuncture needles in me, which I'm sure they'd love to shove red hot needles in my eyes as I've been a right moaner with them!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 18 August 2010
Go Tilda!
I had a really lovely day today.
I had a friend round this morning that I haven't seen for a while to catch up on all the gossip about the wedding, work etc over a coffee. Then 'Me Julie' came round in the afternoon for a cuppa and to help out by getting me some shopping, plus to give me a much needed boost about future plans and outings.
I am one of these people that have to have something to look forward to. Whether it's a shopping trip or a holiday, I need something to aim for. Just the thought that I've got something looming keeps me happy with planning of what I'll wear etc.
But the main reason I like to know what's happening in advance is my need to know exactly how I am getting there, times and what the place is like. Research is important to me now, boring I know, but I don't feel safe with surprises or a 'whatever' attitude anymore. It's more: How far have I got to walk, is there somewhere to sit, steps anywhere etc now?
A terrible shame as I used to always be so spontaneous and up for anything, but now everything has to planned to the letter and with a back up plan b and plan c!
Sadie came round later to give me postural drainage and a good bashing! This was the best I have felt since last week, my chest felt so much clearer. It's been harder for me to clear my chest since the pneumonia as the phlegm has been a lot thicker and stickier. Yuk I know, but it makes breathing so hard when it's like that. Tomorrow the demon basher Vera will have a go at me... she a very angry lady!
What happened afterwards though I have no idea. I had a lovely long soak in a hot bath, which I always have after a bashing as I can lay flat easily afterwards and enjoy it. Then I settled down to watch 'Penguin Island' and that's when the flood gates opened. All I can think is it must be the drugs making my hormones all a kilter, but I sobbed my heart out when Tilda the baby penguin's mother Jess rejected her. Poor Tilda still had half her fluffy feathers and only half the oiled feathers that she needed for swimming, but she was starving and needed food for when she had to swim otherwise she'd die. Oh my goodness she was so cute waddling up the beach all on her own to the open sea!
When I stopped crying over that, I started again at Gok's fashion fix! That woman had a lovely shaped body in my eyes. I have shape, but a hexagon on legs ain't a good one... Please Gok save me too!
Hopefully I'll be less hormonal tomorrow. I just hope Vera hasn't watched the same TV too and thinks I'm Tilda's mother!
Lots of love Debbie x
I had a friend round this morning that I haven't seen for a while to catch up on all the gossip about the wedding, work etc over a coffee. Then 'Me Julie' came round in the afternoon for a cuppa and to help out by getting me some shopping, plus to give me a much needed boost about future plans and outings.
I am one of these people that have to have something to look forward to. Whether it's a shopping trip or a holiday, I need something to aim for. Just the thought that I've got something looming keeps me happy with planning of what I'll wear etc.
But the main reason I like to know what's happening in advance is my need to know exactly how I am getting there, times and what the place is like. Research is important to me now, boring I know, but I don't feel safe with surprises or a 'whatever' attitude anymore. It's more: How far have I got to walk, is there somewhere to sit, steps anywhere etc now?
A terrible shame as I used to always be so spontaneous and up for anything, but now everything has to planned to the letter and with a back up plan b and plan c!
Sadie came round later to give me postural drainage and a good bashing! This was the best I have felt since last week, my chest felt so much clearer. It's been harder for me to clear my chest since the pneumonia as the phlegm has been a lot thicker and stickier. Yuk I know, but it makes breathing so hard when it's like that. Tomorrow the demon basher Vera will have a go at me... she a very angry lady!
What happened afterwards though I have no idea. I had a lovely long soak in a hot bath, which I always have after a bashing as I can lay flat easily afterwards and enjoy it. Then I settled down to watch 'Penguin Island' and that's when the flood gates opened. All I can think is it must be the drugs making my hormones all a kilter, but I sobbed my heart out when Tilda the baby penguin's mother Jess rejected her. Poor Tilda still had half her fluffy feathers and only half the oiled feathers that she needed for swimming, but she was starving and needed food for when she had to swim otherwise she'd die. Oh my goodness she was so cute waddling up the beach all on her own to the open sea!
When I stopped crying over that, I started again at Gok's fashion fix! That woman had a lovely shaped body in my eyes. I have shape, but a hexagon on legs ain't a good one... Please Gok save me too!
Hopefully I'll be less hormonal tomorrow. I just hope Vera hasn't watched the same TV too and thinks I'm Tilda's mother!
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 17 August 2010
One thing leads to another
Ok hadn't quite got the mixture right today.
Felt really, really bored this afternoon, so I thought I'd chance it and walk over to mother's bungalow as sitting about is no good for anyone and the sun was out, so why not.
Got to her bungalow very out of puff and sat there for ten minutes while she moaned about how bored and lonely she was. Now I love my mother to bits, but I hear this on a daily basis and as she had my eldest sister around this morning and my middle sister round yesterday, I really couldn't hack it today and after just ten minutes I was making my excuses to go home. I felt hot and really out of condition.
Of course one thing leads to another and as I walked past my newly emptied wheelie bin, I could smell it. So as penance for being a chief bitch to my mother, I decided to boil up a couple of kettles to wash it round with some strong disinfectant. Ok not the brightest thing to do when battling with pneumonia, but if I didn't do it now, I'd have to wait another two weeks to do when empty again.
Remind me not to be house proud or wheelie bin proud in future, as where your lungs are struggling to get oxygen into them, this action makes your muscles in your neck stand out like Arnie Schwaltzi do doh's and they hurt like hell with the strain. Plus I had come out in a cold sweat. Good move Deborah, you silly tart!
I wheeled it round the back of the bungalow and while I was leaning on it to get my breath back, my neighbour asked how I was and while doing this, my friend Barbara had come to the front, thought I was out and went home. Damn it, I'll stay bored next time and as this afternoon was a catalogue of errors in the end. Sorry Barbara, but thank you for the candyfloss and book which I found on my door step... Ooo there's a lot of leaves blown in around my doorstep... er no Deborah that can wait for another day!
Lots of love Debbie x
Felt really, really bored this afternoon, so I thought I'd chance it and walk over to mother's bungalow as sitting about is no good for anyone and the sun was out, so why not.
Got to her bungalow very out of puff and sat there for ten minutes while she moaned about how bored and lonely she was. Now I love my mother to bits, but I hear this on a daily basis and as she had my eldest sister around this morning and my middle sister round yesterday, I really couldn't hack it today and after just ten minutes I was making my excuses to go home. I felt hot and really out of condition.
Of course one thing leads to another and as I walked past my newly emptied wheelie bin, I could smell it. So as penance for being a chief bitch to my mother, I decided to boil up a couple of kettles to wash it round with some strong disinfectant. Ok not the brightest thing to do when battling with pneumonia, but if I didn't do it now, I'd have to wait another two weeks to do when empty again.
Remind me not to be house proud or wheelie bin proud in future, as where your lungs are struggling to get oxygen into them, this action makes your muscles in your neck stand out like Arnie Schwaltzi do doh's and they hurt like hell with the strain. Plus I had come out in a cold sweat. Good move Deborah, you silly tart!
I wheeled it round the back of the bungalow and while I was leaning on it to get my breath back, my neighbour asked how I was and while doing this, my friend Barbara had come to the front, thought I was out and went home. Damn it, I'll stay bored next time and as this afternoon was a catalogue of errors in the end. Sorry Barbara, but thank you for the candyfloss and book which I found on my door step... Ooo there's a lot of leaves blown in around my doorstep... er no Deborah that can wait for another day!
Lots of love Debbie x
Monday 16 August 2010
Debbie 1 - Spider nil
Ooo yuk, it's that time of year again when the spiders move in.
I'm hoping that summer hasn't totally abandoned us so soon, but it looked quite Autumnal first thing. I'm crossing my fingers that the new moon tomorrow will bring on a late spurt of sunshine, but I was quite chilly this morning and whether it was because I was feeling under the weather still or it was the actual weather, I'm not sure.
My throw that I have on my sofa had slipped behind the sofa onto the wicker basket where I keep all my candles and when I went to fold it up neater, a huge spider dashed out into the basket! Now if you know me well, you'll know that I am petrified of spiders and this one was really big. I deal with them by using my spider hoover catcher that Oliver and Reni brought me on my first Christmas in the my old cottage, but I shake the whole time till I've released them outside well away from the house.
Last summer when I moved here, I wanted to move back to the cottage as every night I would catch a huge one. Yuk!
This one decided to give me a run for my money by keep giving my catcher the slip, maybe because it was too big to cover with the suction bit and I honestly didn't want to break it's legs. In the end it ran towards my bedroom and that freaked me out. I'm sorry, but in the end I panicked and squished it. If it hadn't had headed to my bedroom I might have been able to forget it... no actually I couldn't as it was huge.
I know it's not the karma way and I will probably pay for it, in fact I think I have already as I had to sit with my oxygen on for ages, but I couldn't sleep knowing that spider could share my bed or walk over me at anytime through the night! Makes me shudder just to think of it.
So sorry spider lovers. I really tried to get it outside, but I panicked. The horrible truth is now all it's family and mates will probably move in over the next couple of months and this will be a regular battle, but I pay the rent and no freeloaders I'm afraid.
Lots of love Debbie x
I'm hoping that summer hasn't totally abandoned us so soon, but it looked quite Autumnal first thing. I'm crossing my fingers that the new moon tomorrow will bring on a late spurt of sunshine, but I was quite chilly this morning and whether it was because I was feeling under the weather still or it was the actual weather, I'm not sure.
My throw that I have on my sofa had slipped behind the sofa onto the wicker basket where I keep all my candles and when I went to fold it up neater, a huge spider dashed out into the basket! Now if you know me well, you'll know that I am petrified of spiders and this one was really big. I deal with them by using my spider hoover catcher that Oliver and Reni brought me on my first Christmas in the my old cottage, but I shake the whole time till I've released them outside well away from the house.
Last summer when I moved here, I wanted to move back to the cottage as every night I would catch a huge one. Yuk!
This one decided to give me a run for my money by keep giving my catcher the slip, maybe because it was too big to cover with the suction bit and I honestly didn't want to break it's legs. In the end it ran towards my bedroom and that freaked me out. I'm sorry, but in the end I panicked and squished it. If it hadn't had headed to my bedroom I might have been able to forget it... no actually I couldn't as it was huge.
I know it's not the karma way and I will probably pay for it, in fact I think I have already as I had to sit with my oxygen on for ages, but I couldn't sleep knowing that spider could share my bed or walk over me at anytime through the night! Makes me shudder just to think of it.
So sorry spider lovers. I really tried to get it outside, but I panicked. The horrible truth is now all it's family and mates will probably move in over the next couple of months and this will be a regular battle, but I pay the rent and no freeloaders I'm afraid.
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 15 August 2010
Spot the star!
I had quite a few visitors today which is always good. Natalie and Tif came round to see if there was anything that they could do to help. Natalie very kindly watered all my potted plants and hanging baskets for me. Now the rain has stopped for a day, they have all very quickly dried up again and there is no way I have the energy to water them. There's nothing worse than watching something that you have nurtured for ages die off from neglect and in this case my heart is willing, but my body isn't. I can understand how frustrated my mother gets at not being able to do the all little jobs that she can see that need attending to . Up to a year ago could do most things after a struggle and a lot of determination and now she still wants to have a nice garden etc, but now she just can't summon up the energy or just plain and simple she just can't do it.
Ann came round the same time and was chief tea and coffee maker and then mother turned up as we were in mid gossip catch up and was not best pleased that I had what she called a house full.
I also got told off for not being in bed even though I explained you should be mobile with pneumonia. Then she kept saying in a loud voice how she had come to look after me and 'All of you are here!'. I persuaded her to stay and watch TV with me after they all went. I know she wanted to feel as if she was helping me and as far as I was concerned, just sitting with me and watching TV was a good way to help me.
Oliver and Reni came over with my shopping and they walked her home as she was ready to go home after a while with them. It was good to see them. I think they are both finding it hard to settle back into the swing of normality again. Maybe harder for Reni as at least Oliver has been networking again for the band and Reni is back in the routine already of working long hours again in a job that is vey demanding.
Had my daily dose of Midsummer Murders again and was rewarded with seeing one of our old counsellors' father playing a lead role. All very exciting as it was like watching David on screen. The last time I saw his father on stage he was playing the part of the toymaker in 'Chitty chitty bang bang' with Michael Ball and we were too far away to really see his face. Wonder what relevations the next episode will bring forth!?
Well all this excitement is all too much for me, I must retire for bed soon or I'll have my mother after me again!
Lots of love Debbie x
Ann came round the same time and was chief tea and coffee maker and then mother turned up as we were in mid gossip catch up and was not best pleased that I had what she called a house full.
I also got told off for not being in bed even though I explained you should be mobile with pneumonia. Then she kept saying in a loud voice how she had come to look after me and 'All of you are here!'. I persuaded her to stay and watch TV with me after they all went. I know she wanted to feel as if she was helping me and as far as I was concerned, just sitting with me and watching TV was a good way to help me.
Oliver and Reni came over with my shopping and they walked her home as she was ready to go home after a while with them. It was good to see them. I think they are both finding it hard to settle back into the swing of normality again. Maybe harder for Reni as at least Oliver has been networking again for the band and Reni is back in the routine already of working long hours again in a job that is vey demanding.
Had my daily dose of Midsummer Murders again and was rewarded with seeing one of our old counsellors' father playing a lead role. All very exciting as it was like watching David on screen. The last time I saw his father on stage he was playing the part of the toymaker in 'Chitty chitty bang bang' with Michael Ball and we were too far away to really see his face. Wonder what relevations the next episode will bring forth!?
Well all this excitement is all too much for me, I must retire for bed soon or I'll have my mother after me again!
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday 14 August 2010
Zzzzz
Not the most exciting day in my life. My day consisted of sleeping, reading a bit, sleeping some more, watching another recorded episode of Midsummer Murders and then sleeping again. Oh and when I was awake, I was filling the gaps nibbling on sweets or fruit and popping pills.
I've finished the penultimate TrueBlood book, but I do have another six episodes of Midsummer Murders to watch, so all is not lost.
Give me another three days of watching them though and I'll be begging the doctor to let me go back to work! But... I know I will watch them and probably back to back, that's twelve hours of shouting 'He did it' at the TV. I think I would make a very good detective as long as I could have a sleep midday!
My temperature keeps going up and down like a yo yo and my joints ache like crazy today, but I don't think I look ill. I am the master of disguise as I feel pants.
I had to close my double gates after Ann took her car home and I was shattered after just doing that one little thing. In fact listening to what she had been doing at Scout camp had me breaking out in a hot sweat. I wonder if I will ever have again the get and go that I used to have.
Lets hope so.
Lots of love Debie x
I've finished the penultimate TrueBlood book, but I do have another six episodes of Midsummer Murders to watch, so all is not lost.
Give me another three days of watching them though and I'll be begging the doctor to let me go back to work! But... I know I will watch them and probably back to back, that's twelve hours of shouting 'He did it' at the TV. I think I would make a very good detective as long as I could have a sleep midday!
My temperature keeps going up and down like a yo yo and my joints ache like crazy today, but I don't think I look ill. I am the master of disguise as I feel pants.
I had to close my double gates after Ann took her car home and I was shattered after just doing that one little thing. In fact listening to what she had been doing at Scout camp had me breaking out in a hot sweat. I wonder if I will ever have again the get and go that I used to have.
Lets hope so.
Lots of love Debie x
Friday 13 August 2010
Friday 13th
As it's Friday 13th today, I decided not to push my luck and go out in the pouring rain to get my drugs as I could end up with double pneumonia! I always wondered how you got that and I suspect being caught in an August cloudburst when you feel crap could be a sure fire way to get it.
So I sent my ex instead. Thank goodness we are still good friends, as he isn't bothered with the rain and he had to chase round after the prescription as it was still with the doctor.
I actually slept really well last night. It's kind of strange sensation when you get told that you actually aren't a very well bunny, as you first feel a rush of relief that you aren't turning into a hypochondriac and then when you let your barriers down, you do then feel quite ill!
I spent quite a lot of the day drifting in and out of sleep. I couldn't even read my latest TrueBlood book for more than 10mins at a time and they have become an addiction to me. Plus I had to pass on the party tomorrow which I've really been looking forward to... bummer. They are having a... Mmm... hog roast, don't you just love that and an ice cold beer at a good party and they always have good parties.
Mind you at the moment I just want junk food and lots of it. I know the old saying is feed a cold and starve a fever... but what is pneumonia; a very bad cold? If so I am doing a bloody good job at feeding it!
Tonight there is suppose to be a meteorite shower, so do I stand by the back door and look for it or do I stay indoors with the curtains pulled tightly together, as knowing the way my luck is going at the moment, I could be turned into a Triffard!
Well I will rest up and do as I'm told as next weekend I have two parties on the same day to go to and I'm buggered if I'm going to miss out on them. After all we are rapidly coming to the end of the summer. I love my birthday, but it always heralds the start of the end of the summer to me. Still I still lots to look forward to and I do love Autumn skies.
Lots of love Debbie x
So I sent my ex instead. Thank goodness we are still good friends, as he isn't bothered with the rain and he had to chase round after the prescription as it was still with the doctor.
I actually slept really well last night. It's kind of strange sensation when you get told that you actually aren't a very well bunny, as you first feel a rush of relief that you aren't turning into a hypochondriac and then when you let your barriers down, you do then feel quite ill!
I spent quite a lot of the day drifting in and out of sleep. I couldn't even read my latest TrueBlood book for more than 10mins at a time and they have become an addiction to me. Plus I had to pass on the party tomorrow which I've really been looking forward to... bummer. They are having a... Mmm... hog roast, don't you just love that and an ice cold beer at a good party and they always have good parties.
Mind you at the moment I just want junk food and lots of it. I know the old saying is feed a cold and starve a fever... but what is pneumonia; a very bad cold? If so I am doing a bloody good job at feeding it!
Tonight there is suppose to be a meteorite shower, so do I stand by the back door and look for it or do I stay indoors with the curtains pulled tightly together, as knowing the way my luck is going at the moment, I could be turned into a Triffard!
Well I will rest up and do as I'm told as next weekend I have two parties on the same day to go to and I'm buggered if I'm going to miss out on them. After all we are rapidly coming to the end of the summer. I love my birthday, but it always heralds the start of the end of the summer to me. Still I still lots to look forward to and I do love Autumn skies.
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 12 August 2010
I am not a grump!
Well there you go. There was a reason why I felt woe is me yesterday and that reason was... I have pneumonia. That's a relief as I thought I was just turning into a miserable old git.
I was actually really thinking about throwing in the towel today and handing in my notice as I was feeling so grumpy, but now my workmates will have to put up with me for a bit longer as I was just feeling miserable for another reason.
I think my physio Hannah was as shocked as I was when the lab results were read out. I always thought with pneumonia, I'd be bed ridden, but I guess that's the beauty of having a physios that like looking at your sputum as you have it bashed out of you. Sadie realised it wasn't 'the right' colour and texture for me and made me do a sample asap. Well spotted Sadie, another week untreated and it could have been a different story. When the other respiratory nurse asked did I feel unwell, I just laughed, as I have felt unwell for the past three years, in fact I can't actually remember what it is like to feel normal!
I did have a little cry at home which I am sorry for as it worried the life out of my mother, but I just couldn't help it. I don't know if it was relief that there was a reason for feeling like I did or just sheer frustration that this is my second infection in as many months. I have now got to the stage that this feeling crap is my feeling normal... bummer!
Thank you to Nurse Barbara who shot round with jellies, greek salads, fresh fruit and other goodies. At least if I am off I can relax as I now have food in the fridge, as nothing worse than trailing around the shops with a temperture.
So off to bed now.
Lots of love Debbie x
I was actually really thinking about throwing in the towel today and handing in my notice as I was feeling so grumpy, but now my workmates will have to put up with me for a bit longer as I was just feeling miserable for another reason.
I think my physio Hannah was as shocked as I was when the lab results were read out. I always thought with pneumonia, I'd be bed ridden, but I guess that's the beauty of having a physios that like looking at your sputum as you have it bashed out of you. Sadie realised it wasn't 'the right' colour and texture for me and made me do a sample asap. Well spotted Sadie, another week untreated and it could have been a different story. When the other respiratory nurse asked did I feel unwell, I just laughed, as I have felt unwell for the past three years, in fact I can't actually remember what it is like to feel normal!
I did have a little cry at home which I am sorry for as it worried the life out of my mother, but I just couldn't help it. I don't know if it was relief that there was a reason for feeling like I did or just sheer frustration that this is my second infection in as many months. I have now got to the stage that this feeling crap is my feeling normal... bummer!
Thank you to Nurse Barbara who shot round with jellies, greek salads, fresh fruit and other goodies. At least if I am off I can relax as I now have food in the fridge, as nothing worse than trailing around the shops with a temperture.
So off to bed now.
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 11 August 2010
Questions
Hell, I think the doctor was right; that I am depressed. I sat on the bed this morning really not wanting to go to work at all and felt quite tearful that I had to go.
We have been told at work that there are lots of changes ahead for this new year what with new bosses etc and quite frankly, I don't think I have it in me any more to be up for the challenges.
I have faced so many challenges in the last few years and I'm not looking for sympathy, but for every one I faced head on, there was always another one that I crumpled me. I know I have a lot more to come in my life and maybe I should be saving my efforts for my health and not league tables? I am bloody good at what I do at work, but maybe it's not enough anymore?
I felt better once I got to work I admit, but that niggle is still at the back of my mind; Have I reached the end of my usefulness or will I be more of a hindrance in the university's big vision? I think it is time to think about my options.
Still it was lovely to see my baby back from Florida and he has a bit of a colour on him too. I really had missed his smiley face and his wisdom. They very kindly brought me a bottle of my favourite perfume for my birthday. Sally, bless her give me what was left of hers about a month ago when she got her new one on the plane home from Australia, but I can spray liberally everyday now with my own!
Lots of love Debbie x
We have been told at work that there are lots of changes ahead for this new year what with new bosses etc and quite frankly, I don't think I have it in me any more to be up for the challenges.
I have faced so many challenges in the last few years and I'm not looking for sympathy, but for every one I faced head on, there was always another one that I crumpled me. I know I have a lot more to come in my life and maybe I should be saving my efforts for my health and not league tables? I am bloody good at what I do at work, but maybe it's not enough anymore?
I felt better once I got to work I admit, but that niggle is still at the back of my mind; Have I reached the end of my usefulness or will I be more of a hindrance in the university's big vision? I think it is time to think about my options.
Still it was lovely to see my baby back from Florida and he has a bit of a colour on him too. I really had missed his smiley face and his wisdom. They very kindly brought me a bottle of my favourite perfume for my birthday. Sally, bless her give me what was left of hers about a month ago when she got her new one on the plane home from Australia, but I can spray liberally everyday now with my own!
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 10 August 2010
Prisoner 53-60
Well they say cheats never prosper and that is so true. Today I cheated and I have paid the price big time I'm ashamed to say.
Was going to take my mother to Westcliff today for lunch, but as it was tipping it down first thing this morning I decided a change of plan was needed. Nothing worse than sitting in a car, drinking a cup of coffee out of a plastic cup and stinking your car out with fish and chips, trying to watch the sea through steamed up windows while it's lashing it down outside. I don't think so.
So we left leaving till later and went out looking for a country pub to have lunch instead and then afterwards off to fill up her fridge again from the supermarkets. No I didn't steal the food from Tescos in revenge for them doing me out of £15 yesterday, although thinking about it now... Noooo that's a terrible idea!
Anyway I diverse. We found a lovely pub near where we used to live and when we got in there, they were doing Golden lunches. In layman's terms... OAP rates. Well after looking at the proper menu for myself and I got thinking that I could have three smaller courses rather than two large and it would be a lot chaper. So I found myself ordering two Golden lunches. One for mother and one for me.
Mother nearly gave it away by whispering in a what would be most people's normal voice, but through the side of her mouth to draw even more attention to us; 'aren't you suppose to be over 60?'
Well I thought, I do waddle at times like an oldie and I do have natural silver grey hair and the lack of sleep certainly has given my face that lived in look just lately. My payback for my wrong doings was from the young waiter who didn't even raise an eyebrow when I ordered the meals, so that's karma for you!
To top it all the sky opened as I was coming back to the car after doing her shopping and I got soaked. Then I got soaked again trying to get mother, her wheeler and her shopping out of the car and now instead of looking like Ms Wet T-shirt, I look like a drowned rat. An old drowned rat at that.
So not only do I feel knackered, but I look it too! Bugger, bugger, bugger!
Lots of love Debbie x
Was going to take my mother to Westcliff today for lunch, but as it was tipping it down first thing this morning I decided a change of plan was needed. Nothing worse than sitting in a car, drinking a cup of coffee out of a plastic cup and stinking your car out with fish and chips, trying to watch the sea through steamed up windows while it's lashing it down outside. I don't think so.
So we left leaving till later and went out looking for a country pub to have lunch instead and then afterwards off to fill up her fridge again from the supermarkets. No I didn't steal the food from Tescos in revenge for them doing me out of £15 yesterday, although thinking about it now... Noooo that's a terrible idea!
Anyway I diverse. We found a lovely pub near where we used to live and when we got in there, they were doing Golden lunches. In layman's terms... OAP rates. Well after looking at the proper menu for myself and I got thinking that I could have three smaller courses rather than two large and it would be a lot chaper. So I found myself ordering two Golden lunches. One for mother and one for me.
Mother nearly gave it away by whispering in a what would be most people's normal voice, but through the side of her mouth to draw even more attention to us; 'aren't you suppose to be over 60?'
Well I thought, I do waddle at times like an oldie and I do have natural silver grey hair and the lack of sleep certainly has given my face that lived in look just lately. My payback for my wrong doings was from the young waiter who didn't even raise an eyebrow when I ordered the meals, so that's karma for you!
To top it all the sky opened as I was coming back to the car after doing her shopping and I got soaked. Then I got soaked again trying to get mother, her wheeler and her shopping out of the car and now instead of looking like Ms Wet T-shirt, I look like a drowned rat. An old drowned rat at that.
So not only do I feel knackered, but I look it too! Bugger, bugger, bugger!
Lots of love Debbie x
Monday 9 August 2010
Good day bad day
Oooo had a lie in and didn't feel the remotest bit guilty. No work today and it feels good. Caught up on my recorded TV programmes, so I now know who is doing what to who in Gray's Anatomy. I also packed up a couple of parcels to go back, so that's £70 saved... good girl burders!
Took yet another sample into the hospital to see if there is anything lurking in my lungs apart from the psuedomonas. I'm kind of hoping something else is in there causing these hot sweats and making me feel under par, otherwise I can see a hospital stay looming... yuk.
Went to visit my friend in Terling as I haven't seen her since before her surprise wedding. She looks really well and she is really settled over there. I had a call from Ann on the way to Terling, that she has became a nan to a little 6lb girl and mother, baby and nan are all doing well!
Stopped off at Tescos on the way home to swap my vouchers for double as advertised, so I could buy a new hairdryer. I checked in the town branch first as it has a bigger range there. I asked just how you doubled your vouchers, as I didn't want to go upstairs if I had to come straight down again to swap the vouchers. I was told you could exchange at any counter. Ok got that easy peasy, but couldn't find any hairdryers in there, so went off to the Tescos on the edge of town where I do all my shopping as I had seen some in there. Found a hairdryer and worked out I could have a hand food mixer and a new orchid for my bathroom and only have to pay £4 extra... Whoa ho! Wrong... I ended up paying £19 and when I asked why, I was told I hadn't exchanged them first so I only got the face value rate! Where was I supposed to exchange them I asked? And I was told at the customer service till where I was already standing and no I couldn't cancel the sale and have my vouchers back as they had already gone through the till and yes they were sorry that someone had given me the wrong information, but basically tough titties! grrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
A lovely day going down hill fast. Went down even faster when I got to mother's as she was having a bad day and her memory was shot to pieces again. Bless her she was so confused about her drug delivery it was heartbreaking. i had even gone and got them for her and handed them to have and still she kept asking when would they arrive.
Will take her out again tomorrow to the seaside and so hopefully she'll have a good day. She is so grateful just to be taken out for a ride, that it doesn't matter where, just as long as she is out the bungalow for a little while.
I'm sure there will be people that when she is gone that will feel bad that they never gave her any of their time which is all she craves. Or maybe they won't. Shame on them.
Lots of love Debbie x
Took yet another sample into the hospital to see if there is anything lurking in my lungs apart from the psuedomonas. I'm kind of hoping something else is in there causing these hot sweats and making me feel under par, otherwise I can see a hospital stay looming... yuk.
Went to visit my friend in Terling as I haven't seen her since before her surprise wedding. She looks really well and she is really settled over there. I had a call from Ann on the way to Terling, that she has became a nan to a little 6lb girl and mother, baby and nan are all doing well!
Stopped off at Tescos on the way home to swap my vouchers for double as advertised, so I could buy a new hairdryer. I checked in the town branch first as it has a bigger range there. I asked just how you doubled your vouchers, as I didn't want to go upstairs if I had to come straight down again to swap the vouchers. I was told you could exchange at any counter. Ok got that easy peasy, but couldn't find any hairdryers in there, so went off to the Tescos on the edge of town where I do all my shopping as I had seen some in there. Found a hairdryer and worked out I could have a hand food mixer and a new orchid for my bathroom and only have to pay £4 extra... Whoa ho! Wrong... I ended up paying £19 and when I asked why, I was told I hadn't exchanged them first so I only got the face value rate! Where was I supposed to exchange them I asked? And I was told at the customer service till where I was already standing and no I couldn't cancel the sale and have my vouchers back as they had already gone through the till and yes they were sorry that someone had given me the wrong information, but basically tough titties! grrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
A lovely day going down hill fast. Went down even faster when I got to mother's as she was having a bad day and her memory was shot to pieces again. Bless her she was so confused about her drug delivery it was heartbreaking. i had even gone and got them for her and handed them to have and still she kept asking when would they arrive.
Will take her out again tomorrow to the seaside and so hopefully she'll have a good day. She is so grateful just to be taken out for a ride, that it doesn't matter where, just as long as she is out the bungalow for a little while.
I'm sure there will be people that when she is gone that will feel bad that they never gave her any of their time which is all she craves. Or maybe they won't. Shame on them.
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 8 August 2010
A good day
Yay, went to bed fairly early and went off to sleep really easily as predicted after an evening of estuary air at Sarfend and a full belly of Sarfend's goodies! Unfortunately I was woken up by some loud noise and couldn't work out whether it was in my sleep or outside. Decided I didn't really care as sleep was more appealing than looking out the window to investigate and went back off to sleep again only to be woken again at 2.30am by a text from my youngest son on holiday in Florida. He had just found my text that I sent him earlier and forgot what time it was in England. So after answering him I took a bit of time going back off, but then I remembered that I had another three days off so who cares if I wake up late.
Took mother off to Gosfield Lake for a picnic armed with goodies to eat and magazines and to watch the water skiers and wake boarders doing their stuff. Really pleasant there. It was gorgeous when the sun came out and I felt really relaxed just in the sun watching the water sports and the ducks playing about on the lake. I have lovely memories of when the boys were little and we used to take them there with picnics. I could shut my eyes and could just see Dwight standing on the jetty poking at the water with a stick when he was about seven years old and then watching him twenty years later hurtling around on his wake board trying his hardest to stay on!
I think mother enjoyed it too. Thankfully she wasn't hurtling around with her zoomer frame strapped to a wake board, but just watching certainly gave her an appetite as she worked her way through three packs of sandwiches, some hot chicken pieces, various containers of fruit and lashings of lemonade!
We stopped off at my sisters on the way home and sat in their garden for a while with a cuppa and put the world to rights.
It was a good day today. A good way to spend a summer's afternoon.
Lots of love Debbie x
Took mother off to Gosfield Lake for a picnic armed with goodies to eat and magazines and to watch the water skiers and wake boarders doing their stuff. Really pleasant there. It was gorgeous when the sun came out and I felt really relaxed just in the sun watching the water sports and the ducks playing about on the lake. I have lovely memories of when the boys were little and we used to take them there with picnics. I could shut my eyes and could just see Dwight standing on the jetty poking at the water with a stick when he was about seven years old and then watching him twenty years later hurtling around on his wake board trying his hardest to stay on!
I think mother enjoyed it too. Thankfully she wasn't hurtling around with her zoomer frame strapped to a wake board, but just watching certainly gave her an appetite as she worked her way through three packs of sandwiches, some hot chicken pieces, various containers of fruit and lashings of lemonade!
We stopped off at my sisters on the way home and sat in their garden for a while with a cuppa and put the world to rights.
It was a good day today. A good way to spend a summer's afternoon.
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday 7 August 2010
Candy floss and fish 'n' chips
Oh I do like to be beside the sea side, oh I do like to be beside the sea, tra la la la!
Derek and Julie took me to Southend this evening or Sarfend as it's affectionately known and it was lovely. The last time we went there was a couple of summers ago where Julie and I sat on the beach (I use the term beach loosely) watching the oil tankers glistening on the estuary waters as they sailed from Canvay Island, with us eating chippys from under a pink parasol that I had brought from a Chinese shop in the high street. To say we got a few glances was an under statement!
I don't want to be snobbish, but Sarfend is good old English tat at it's very best. Lots of slot machines, bright flashing lights, rides that g-force your face and helps you to part company with your dinner. Fish 'n' chip restaurants like the one we ate in, where the waitresses still wear the Lyons tea rooms outfits and serve huge portions of yummy fish suppers.
It's like United Nations there with scenes straight from the film 'Bhaji on the Beach', lots of Russians also where the men are built like huge brickhouse and all look like bouncers and the women are very slight build in tight trousers and tops. Then there's the Brits... baseball capped men with staffordshire dogs outside pubs 'Oo Ooying' hen parties in black t-shirts with Barbie pink accessories that go staggering by and it's all fab!
Drive further down the road and you enter another part of Southend, where the houses are huge seafront type with balconies to sit on while eating one's breakfast and reading the 'Times', where we can only dream of owning one of them. Where there are pretty beach huts, well tended lawns and flower beds in front of the car parks and not a slot machine in sight and yes that's fab too.
We had a great time, eating candy floss, 99's and fish 'n' chips with wallys. We won a cute 'I love you ' teddy bear each and came home with full bellies and huge smiles.
And I do believe I will sleep well tonight and not have to bother with any of the doctor's happy pills to make me sleep. I've only had one so far and yes I did sleep, but I had great trouble unattaching my head from my pillow to go to work. My head felt like a lead balloon! So tonight I shall cuddle up to my new friends the bears and dream of eating dinki doughnuts while wearing my kiss me quick hat, from the balcony of my seafront millionaire's pad in the posh part of town, because that's the kind of classy bird I am!
Lots of love Debbie x
Derek and Julie took me to Southend this evening or Sarfend as it's affectionately known and it was lovely. The last time we went there was a couple of summers ago where Julie and I sat on the beach (I use the term beach loosely) watching the oil tankers glistening on the estuary waters as they sailed from Canvay Island, with us eating chippys from under a pink parasol that I had brought from a Chinese shop in the high street. To say we got a few glances was an under statement!
I don't want to be snobbish, but Sarfend is good old English tat at it's very best. Lots of slot machines, bright flashing lights, rides that g-force your face and helps you to part company with your dinner. Fish 'n' chip restaurants like the one we ate in, where the waitresses still wear the Lyons tea rooms outfits and serve huge portions of yummy fish suppers.
It's like United Nations there with scenes straight from the film 'Bhaji on the Beach', lots of Russians also where the men are built like huge brickhouse and all look like bouncers and the women are very slight build in tight trousers and tops. Then there's the Brits... baseball capped men with staffordshire dogs outside pubs 'Oo Ooying' hen parties in black t-shirts with Barbie pink accessories that go staggering by and it's all fab!
Drive further down the road and you enter another part of Southend, where the houses are huge seafront type with balconies to sit on while eating one's breakfast and reading the 'Times', where we can only dream of owning one of them. Where there are pretty beach huts, well tended lawns and flower beds in front of the car parks and not a slot machine in sight and yes that's fab too.
We had a great time, eating candy floss, 99's and fish 'n' chips with wallys. We won a cute 'I love you ' teddy bear each and came home with full bellies and huge smiles.
And I do believe I will sleep well tonight and not have to bother with any of the doctor's happy pills to make me sleep. I've only had one so far and yes I did sleep, but I had great trouble unattaching my head from my pillow to go to work. My head felt like a lead balloon! So tonight I shall cuddle up to my new friends the bears and dream of eating dinki doughnuts while wearing my kiss me quick hat, from the balcony of my seafront millionaire's pad in the posh part of town, because that's the kind of classy bird I am!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 4 August 2010
Steptoe and Daughter!
One of life's great mysteries to me is why when it thunders and lightening's and the downpour of rain floods roads, do I still have to water the bloody hanging baskets of a night time!?
That of course is after I dragged my hoover over to mother's bungalow to hoover right through, helped my ex to straighten mother's carpet under her tv cabinet, which she has been moaning about for ages as it rucks up. Then polished her tv cabinet after moving everything off it to move it to get the carpet straight and all before I did my own housework.
This is penance for me for not having my physio done after all this afternoon. I had actually got home honestly when I got the call that she had an emergency and won't be able to get to me until Friday now, but boy I did pay the price for my illicit two hours by being my mother's char lady.
She does have a way of getting me to do things for her which I know I shouldn't, but she knows I'll weaken. And I know she'll put up with the swearing and the banging about as I have a strop. She always reminds me of Steptoe and Son where Wilfred Brambles gives this sad little look to his son and then a wicked grin when he gets his way!
I love my mother, but gosh she's a cunning bugger!
Lots of love Debbie x
That of course is after I dragged my hoover over to mother's bungalow to hoover right through, helped my ex to straighten mother's carpet under her tv cabinet, which she has been moaning about for ages as it rucks up. Then polished her tv cabinet after moving everything off it to move it to get the carpet straight and all before I did my own housework.
This is penance for me for not having my physio done after all this afternoon. I had actually got home honestly when I got the call that she had an emergency and won't be able to get to me until Friday now, but boy I did pay the price for my illicit two hours by being my mother's char lady.
She does have a way of getting me to do things for her which I know I shouldn't, but she knows I'll weaken. And I know she'll put up with the swearing and the banging about as I have a strop. She always reminds me of Steptoe and Son where Wilfred Brambles gives this sad little look to his son and then a wicked grin when he gets his way!
I love my mother, but gosh she's a cunning bugger!
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 3 August 2010
The merry go round
When I was driving in this morning, I was singing along to the 'Travelling Wilbys' song 'Everybody needs somebody to lean on' and I thought how true is that.
I am happy with my life even with my body's little hiccups, but after last night of returning home from rehab after a full day at work, sorting out mother's evening meal, ironing, cooking my tea, watering the plants, talking to mother again...who is fast losing her marbles and more sometimes then others... and trying to fit in a bath; I'd love to have someone say that they'd cook while I did the ironing, mind you knowing my luck, I probably would have to lean on them to make them do anything!
I then woke up early this morning and remembered that I hadn't put the rubbish out... great... an early morning dash across the dew covered lawn in my slippers and dressing gown, only to loose a slipper on the wet grass. I had to bend down to slip it back on again only to have my robe fall open and expose my bust to the early morning dog walkers. Probably be a mass exodus of dog walkers taking another route to the playing fields tomorrow rather than be traumatized again and that's just the dogs.
I had to go back to have my eyes re-tested on my way to work too this morning, as the optician comment of I should be able to drive without my glasses on, didn't work out very well for me. Apart from having a few extra grey hairs, I was quite shaky as I could not see the road signs and couldn't even make out clearly the number plate of car in front of me. Plus I tried reading the 20foot writing in the cinema and yes you guessed it... blurred.
I sure the optician thought I was making it up when I said I couldn't see things properly, as the tests in the room worked out in favour of their eye test, but put into practise outside... err no. He even had me standing outside with the silly glasses with all the gadgets and knobs on looking at signs!
Through a gritted teeth smile, he said that he would put in the same distance lenses as before, but their upgraded short distance lenses. So I could have two pairs of gorgeous looking glasses coming that I can't see through and be two hundred quid worse off.
Really getting cheesed off with the medical profession at the moment.
Well tonight, I have to sort out mother's dinner and sort out her letter to her cousin who she has written to for about thirty years, but now can't remember who she is. Cook my dinner, finish off my ironing and water the plants yet again. Still at least I don't have to put out the rubbish!
Lots of love Debbie x
I am happy with my life even with my body's little hiccups, but after last night of returning home from rehab after a full day at work, sorting out mother's evening meal, ironing, cooking my tea, watering the plants, talking to mother again...who is fast losing her marbles and more sometimes then others... and trying to fit in a bath; I'd love to have someone say that they'd cook while I did the ironing, mind you knowing my luck, I probably would have to lean on them to make them do anything!
I then woke up early this morning and remembered that I hadn't put the rubbish out... great... an early morning dash across the dew covered lawn in my slippers and dressing gown, only to loose a slipper on the wet grass. I had to bend down to slip it back on again only to have my robe fall open and expose my bust to the early morning dog walkers. Probably be a mass exodus of dog walkers taking another route to the playing fields tomorrow rather than be traumatized again and that's just the dogs.
I had to go back to have my eyes re-tested on my way to work too this morning, as the optician comment of I should be able to drive without my glasses on, didn't work out very well for me. Apart from having a few extra grey hairs, I was quite shaky as I could not see the road signs and couldn't even make out clearly the number plate of car in front of me. Plus I tried reading the 20foot writing in the cinema and yes you guessed it... blurred.
I sure the optician thought I was making it up when I said I couldn't see things properly, as the tests in the room worked out in favour of their eye test, but put into practise outside... err no. He even had me standing outside with the silly glasses with all the gadgets and knobs on looking at signs!
Through a gritted teeth smile, he said that he would put in the same distance lenses as before, but their upgraded short distance lenses. So I could have two pairs of gorgeous looking glasses coming that I can't see through and be two hundred quid worse off.
Really getting cheesed off with the medical profession at the moment.
Well tonight, I have to sort out mother's dinner and sort out her letter to her cousin who she has written to for about thirty years, but now can't remember who she is. Cook my dinner, finish off my ironing and water the plants yet again. Still at least I don't have to put out the rubbish!
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 1 August 2010
Memory filing cabinet
A relaxing day today which was very nice and quite a change for my Sundays. Took mother to Maldon with a picnic lunch in my shopping bag and we just sat watching the world go by, which we both really enjoy.
The weather was quite clement actually, as it had been looking a little on the threatening side earlier, in fact it threw it down in true August style when I drove into Witham to have my eyes tested.
I know!
Fancy having your eyes tested on a Sunday, whatever next. I picked some rather chic frames, one pair of silver and a pair of purple frames. Picked them quite quickly too, but having to pay out a couple of hundred quid will sting for a lot longer!
I do have one concern though as the optician reckoned that yes my eyes had changed, my distance is better and my close vision is a wee bit worse. She did say that I could probably drive without my glasses as well... duh... tried that on the way home and the road signs were all very bleary, so will have to query that one! She did say that she would lower the prescription on that part, so hopefully I won't be driving totally blind as a bat!
Anyway I didn't need glasses for today, as all my senses kicked in and we soaked up the warmth, the salty air and the lovely scenery. I do love to just sit by water and soak all the atmosphere in and then pull the scene out of the memory filing cabinet when I need a boost. It was lovely just sitting with my mother and seeing her enjoy it. She is really very good company and so appreciates any chance of getting out of her bungalow even if just for a couple of hours.
Maybe next week we'll do it again, but stop off for a Chinese on the way as mother does love her noodles!
Lots of love Debbie x
The weather was quite clement actually, as it had been looking a little on the threatening side earlier, in fact it threw it down in true August style when I drove into Witham to have my eyes tested.
I know!
Fancy having your eyes tested on a Sunday, whatever next. I picked some rather chic frames, one pair of silver and a pair of purple frames. Picked them quite quickly too, but having to pay out a couple of hundred quid will sting for a lot longer!
I do have one concern though as the optician reckoned that yes my eyes had changed, my distance is better and my close vision is a wee bit worse. She did say that I could probably drive without my glasses as well... duh... tried that on the way home and the road signs were all very bleary, so will have to query that one! She did say that she would lower the prescription on that part, so hopefully I won't be driving totally blind as a bat!
Anyway I didn't need glasses for today, as all my senses kicked in and we soaked up the warmth, the salty air and the lovely scenery. I do love to just sit by water and soak all the atmosphere in and then pull the scene out of the memory filing cabinet when I need a boost. It was lovely just sitting with my mother and seeing her enjoy it. She is really very good company and so appreciates any chance of getting out of her bungalow even if just for a couple of hours.
Maybe next week we'll do it again, but stop off for a Chinese on the way as mother does love her noodles!
Lots of love Debbie x
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