Everyday you live and learn... today I learnt what snow gates are. I have heard about them so many times this winter on the radio driving in or back from work, when the BBC2 travel lady reports the bad weather and especially up in Scotland.
One of our students who loves talking about his homeland and Sam and myself love listening, explained that; yes they were gates that shut off the road or barriers to stop people venturing onto impassable roads.
And no they weren't huge ornate iron gates with ancient and gnarled Scots bent over from the strain as they push them shut like something from Lord of the Rings, with cries of 'Nay snow will past through here ta night!'
And yes my imagination has run wild yet again.
Also found out that size 14 hurts around my huge stomach and I'm going to have to chat up my mates to see if I can borrow some of their evening outfits for the cruise which is only 26 days away.... holy buggery!
Learnt that some men don't go away mores the pity!
Lots of love Debbie x
About Me
- Me...Debbie Burden... or known as Burders
- I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!
Tuesday 30 March 2010
Sunday 28 March 2010
Ups and downs
I laid in bed this morning sulking that the time bandits had stolen an hour of my precious Sunday lie in... If politicians want my vote then this would be the best way to get it. I know that it's to give the men harvesting an extra hour to work in the fields. Well I'm sorry... get up bloody earlier instead!
I have had a weird couple of days full of highs and lows. I love driving into work and seeing whats new in the countryside and Thursday was no different as I saw my first heron on a fence by the roadside.
It was eyeing up breakfast in the roadside pond and my car driving past didn't faze him at all. In fact I think he was also giving me the eyeball as I slowly drove past him.
I never realised just how big they are. My sister who lives down the road from this pond, is always complaining that herons regularly pinch her goldfish out of her back garden pond and she has a weird plastic one shoved in the rockery to scare them away. But I never realised that they actually were that big. The size of this one I'm sure could carry my skinny 'big sister' away while she was hanging out her washing with no problem. I can just see my brother-in-law in the garden waving 'bye bye Bebe' as she was being carried away high over the house tops.
Friday... Even though I saw sticky buds growing in a hedge, the day turned sour at work. Our department all had to go to a meeting to be told our fates. The meeting was held in a portacabin style classroom, but leading up the path to it you really had this awful feeling of doom. It felt like there should have had music playing and us being told to pop in for a quick shower first.
Two of my favourite people were told that their jobs would be going. It was them or their equals in Cambridge. One other member of our staff was also told, but she's been waiting for this moment for years, so she was really pleased. But I couldn't and still can't understand why someone who works her butt off all day every day is at risk... Why? I know I'm not playing with a full deck at times, but even I could see this was madness.
Saturday I returned to wearing my hair shirt again after I seriously snarled at my mother's gardener. But in my defence I had been dragged out the bath with wet hair to sort out yet another problem at my mothers. I do hope that the rest of my siblings are having a lousy weekend as I spend the majority of my weekend with my mother yet again. I really don't mind as I love my mum, but honestly...
Oh well such is life.
Lots of love Debbie x
I have had a weird couple of days full of highs and lows. I love driving into work and seeing whats new in the countryside and Thursday was no different as I saw my first heron on a fence by the roadside.
It was eyeing up breakfast in the roadside pond and my car driving past didn't faze him at all. In fact I think he was also giving me the eyeball as I slowly drove past him.
I never realised just how big they are. My sister who lives down the road from this pond, is always complaining that herons regularly pinch her goldfish out of her back garden pond and she has a weird plastic one shoved in the rockery to scare them away. But I never realised that they actually were that big. The size of this one I'm sure could carry my skinny 'big sister' away while she was hanging out her washing with no problem. I can just see my brother-in-law in the garden waving 'bye bye Bebe' as she was being carried away high over the house tops.
Friday... Even though I saw sticky buds growing in a hedge, the day turned sour at work. Our department all had to go to a meeting to be told our fates. The meeting was held in a portacabin style classroom, but leading up the path to it you really had this awful feeling of doom. It felt like there should have had music playing and us being told to pop in for a quick shower first.
Two of my favourite people were told that their jobs would be going. It was them or their equals in Cambridge. One other member of our staff was also told, but she's been waiting for this moment for years, so she was really pleased. But I couldn't and still can't understand why someone who works her butt off all day every day is at risk... Why? I know I'm not playing with a full deck at times, but even I could see this was madness.
Saturday I returned to wearing my hair shirt again after I seriously snarled at my mother's gardener. But in my defence I had been dragged out the bath with wet hair to sort out yet another problem at my mothers. I do hope that the rest of my siblings are having a lousy weekend as I spend the majority of my weekend with my mother yet again. I really don't mind as I love my mum, but honestly...
Oh well such is life.
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 25 March 2010
Trouble at mill
Oh blimey the office has been rife with speculation about what is going to happen to our department ever since the VC's news letter about cutbacks came round and today it has been fever pitch as it's been announced that tomorrow we have a meeting with the new boss.
I don't know what is going to happen and to be honest I'm fed up of thinking about it. One thing I have learnt in the past few years is that shit happens, so you have to deal with it and that worrying yourself stupid isn't going to help you.
We had one small and very quick meeting today which started the day off with butterflies in everyone. The meeting turned out to be quite innocent just about seeing if we were willing to help another department if their workload got too intense, they are also under our heading. But it had everyone on edge.
It took me all day to type up a document only for someone to drop a stapler on my keypad just as I was closing it down and I pressed the wrong poxy button and lost all my work! I know I should have been saving it as I went along, but I haven't been able to concentrate all day. My work mate had to stop me from drinking my mouthwash just to get some alcohol in me and to stop me from hitting my head repeatedly on the desk and sobbing like a baby after that.
This is the fifth day that I have felt queasy and although I have actually ate a little food today, I really don't want to go into work tomorrow. Not because of this meeting, but because I feel shit. Now I can't stay at home and will have to drag my tired old ass into work... now that is what I call a problem... Grrrgh!
Lots of love Debbie x
I don't know what is going to happen and to be honest I'm fed up of thinking about it. One thing I have learnt in the past few years is that shit happens, so you have to deal with it and that worrying yourself stupid isn't going to help you.
We had one small and very quick meeting today which started the day off with butterflies in everyone. The meeting turned out to be quite innocent just about seeing if we were willing to help another department if their workload got too intense, they are also under our heading. But it had everyone on edge.
It took me all day to type up a document only for someone to drop a stapler on my keypad just as I was closing it down and I pressed the wrong poxy button and lost all my work! I know I should have been saving it as I went along, but I haven't been able to concentrate all day. My work mate had to stop me from drinking my mouthwash just to get some alcohol in me and to stop me from hitting my head repeatedly on the desk and sobbing like a baby after that.
This is the fifth day that I have felt queasy and although I have actually ate a little food today, I really don't want to go into work tomorrow. Not because of this meeting, but because I feel shit. Now I can't stay at home and will have to drag my tired old ass into work... now that is what I call a problem... Grrrgh!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 24 March 2010
Chocolate or sex
How come that although I have given up chocolate for what seems a life time... ok I know it's only 29 days and two set backs. One of which I blame the very exciting 'Who killed Archie Mitchell' Eastenders episode and the second was in the cinema eating Ben and Jerry's banana icecream and it was dark so I didn't see the chocolate chips, that's my story and I'm sticking to it... Anyway I was saying, how come I have given up my staple diet and I still has a HUGE belly?!
I have now felt queasy for three whole days, have been off my food and still by nightfall my tummy fills my jimmyjams to bursting point.
Perhaps it wasn't a police helicopter the other night hoovering above my bungalow, but ET's big brother popped down from a quickie, had his wicked way with me while I was sleeping and I'm now carrying his 'lovechild' or 'lovealien.' Although some of the blokes I've seen since my divorce, quite a few of them have been aliens! Be about right though, first bit of action for months and I was asleep.
I wonder whether it's the fact that Spring is here and our bodies are in shock after the freezing conditions we've had this year. Not freezing enough to kill off all the germs though, as our office is rife with nasties.
Still I'm sure when I give birth to Zondo I'll be down to a size 12... oh happy days.
Lots of love Debbie x
I have now felt queasy for three whole days, have been off my food and still by nightfall my tummy fills my jimmyjams to bursting point.
Perhaps it wasn't a police helicopter the other night hoovering above my bungalow, but ET's big brother popped down from a quickie, had his wicked way with me while I was sleeping and I'm now carrying his 'lovechild' or 'lovealien.' Although some of the blokes I've seen since my divorce, quite a few of them have been aliens! Be about right though, first bit of action for months and I was asleep.
I wonder whether it's the fact that Spring is here and our bodies are in shock after the freezing conditions we've had this year. Not freezing enough to kill off all the germs though, as our office is rife with nasties.
Still I'm sure when I give birth to Zondo I'll be down to a size 12... oh happy days.
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 21 March 2010
Things that go whir in the night
Have you ever had one of the dreams where the your subconscious crosses over with reality and you don't know what's real?
I have had those moments before, especially when wanting a pee and I'm too warm and cuddly to get up. You are frightened to go to sleep properly in case you dream that you are peeing and you actually do it in the bed, so in the end you've wasted about a hour of good quality sleep just because you are too lazy to get up and then you have to anyway.
Last night was similar. I could hear a very loud whirring noise as I drifted in and out of sleep because the loud whirring was disturbing me, in the end I was awake enough to think 'Hell my concentrator is noisy'. It took me about another 10mins though to realise if that is my concentrator, then something is seriously wrong with it and my head is attached to it. If that baby blows up then so does my face.
I stumbled out of bed completely ignoring the fact that my bedroom was lit up like daylight and tried to switch off my concentrator, but every time I switched it off I could still hear the loud whirring noise, but my very sleepy brain couldn't compute. This was where the panic level shot up to a scale 10. Luckily the helpful bright light in my bedroom helped me to see that I was actually turning off the machine and if I listened carefully it wasn't my machine making all that racket after all, but it was coming from outside.
It was that moment that I realised that my bedroom was lit up and I hadn't put on the light. I staggered over to the window then, well actually I didn't, because I was still attached to the concentrator and I had got myself in a muddle by then.
Lo and behold it wasn't my concentrator...Hoorah my face was safe, it was just a police helicopter searching for someone, probably a serial killer on the loose and I sleep with my windows open. But hey I'll sleep on that problem and sort it out another day.
Lots of love Debbie x
I have had those moments before, especially when wanting a pee and I'm too warm and cuddly to get up. You are frightened to go to sleep properly in case you dream that you are peeing and you actually do it in the bed, so in the end you've wasted about a hour of good quality sleep just because you are too lazy to get up and then you have to anyway.
Last night was similar. I could hear a very loud whirring noise as I drifted in and out of sleep because the loud whirring was disturbing me, in the end I was awake enough to think 'Hell my concentrator is noisy'. It took me about another 10mins though to realise if that is my concentrator, then something is seriously wrong with it and my head is attached to it. If that baby blows up then so does my face.
I stumbled out of bed completely ignoring the fact that my bedroom was lit up like daylight and tried to switch off my concentrator, but every time I switched it off I could still hear the loud whirring noise, but my very sleepy brain couldn't compute. This was where the panic level shot up to a scale 10. Luckily the helpful bright light in my bedroom helped me to see that I was actually turning off the machine and if I listened carefully it wasn't my machine making all that racket after all, but it was coming from outside.
It was that moment that I realised that my bedroom was lit up and I hadn't put on the light. I staggered over to the window then, well actually I didn't, because I was still attached to the concentrator and I had got myself in a muddle by then.
Lo and behold it wasn't my concentrator...Hoorah my face was safe, it was just a police helicopter searching for someone, probably a serial killer on the loose and I sleep with my windows open. But hey I'll sleep on that problem and sort it out another day.
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday 20 March 2010
Women and handsome men first!
I really should think about what I watch on TV before I actually watch it in future.
Just watched the Titanic for about the 100th time and it still moved me... though not to tears this time, but to sunbathing near my lifeboat station on my cruise in six weeks time.
Made helpful notes throughout the film. 1; I will make sure I always carry a whistle. 2; I take a woggle with me where ever I go (as I am a crap swimmer) and 3; have decided that my oxygen would come in handy so guard with life, as people get a wee bit rough when they think they may drown.
Has been a strange day, apart from losing my marbles while watching the film. I blame cheap wine for that. Also gave me a horrendous headache this morning when I woke up, still it was good to have a hangover headache rather than headache from oxygen levels dropping in the night.
My friend who I haven't seen properly for about three years came round to see me and it was as if we had seen each other every other day in those past years. No awkwardness at all, I guess that shows true friendship.
Oh and Oliver found out the name of that lovely song in 'Dancing on Wheels'. It's called 'A kiss from a rose' by Seal, but to me it will always be Harry's song. Just wish I could Ms Gale's other name now... I blame my drugs.
Apart from that I've done absolutely zilch and I loved it!
Lots of love Debbie x
Just watched the Titanic for about the 100th time and it still moved me... though not to tears this time, but to sunbathing near my lifeboat station on my cruise in six weeks time.
Made helpful notes throughout the film. 1; I will make sure I always carry a whistle. 2; I take a woggle with me where ever I go (as I am a crap swimmer) and 3; have decided that my oxygen would come in handy so guard with life, as people get a wee bit rough when they think they may drown.
Has been a strange day, apart from losing my marbles while watching the film. I blame cheap wine for that. Also gave me a horrendous headache this morning when I woke up, still it was good to have a hangover headache rather than headache from oxygen levels dropping in the night.
My friend who I haven't seen properly for about three years came round to see me and it was as if we had seen each other every other day in those past years. No awkwardness at all, I guess that shows true friendship.
Oh and Oliver found out the name of that lovely song in 'Dancing on Wheels'. It's called 'A kiss from a rose' by Seal, but to me it will always be Harry's song. Just wish I could Ms Gale's other name now... I blame my drugs.
Apart from that I've done absolutely zilch and I loved it!
Lots of love Debbie x
Friday 19 March 2010
Sports Relief
You want to watch it, but whoa the emotional wringer it puts you through is unreal... It's Sports Relief time folks.
Whenever I hear 'Everybody wants to rule the world' I cry and that was the theme song from the very first Sports Relief all those years ago when Lenny Henry was still a young man.
For the last four weeks I have sat and cried my way through Thursday nights as I've watched 'Dancing on Wheels' and then Eddie Izzard running his 43 marathons. I won't be able to be to hear a certain piece of music without thinking of the lovely Harry and Ms Gale dancing anymore. I can't think what the song is called, but I will always remember his beautiful face as he gazed up from his wheelchair into Ms Gale's eyes every time I hear it. And then of course there was the handsome James and gorgeous Caroline who won the title and went to Tel Avie to represent UK... gosh they were fab and boy could he move.
Once I stopped crying from that show, I would start all over again from watching Eddie's amazing feat. The man was amazing and I have no idea how much my phone bill will be from sponsoring him through a veil of tears at the end of each show, but my god he earned every penny. I can not imagine how he found the strength to run day after day especially when in pain.
Watching 'Sports Relief' tonight made me realise how lucky I am. If I had been born in an African country, I probably would have been dead by now.
I have the sole use of a £3,000 oxygen unit which is on loan to me and if that isn't enough it's filled regularly for free too, plus I have the latest model concentrator just for my use too. Plus I have a team of physios that beat me up twice a week either at my home or at the local hospital. Yet I lust over a new dress which I'll probably only wear once, where a £5 mozzie net would be used every night and day in these third world countries and save so much suffering. I am ashamed of myself at times, because I forget how lucky I really am.
Please don't forget to donate to Sports Relief if you read this.
Lots of love Debbie x
Whenever I hear 'Everybody wants to rule the world' I cry and that was the theme song from the very first Sports Relief all those years ago when Lenny Henry was still a young man.
For the last four weeks I have sat and cried my way through Thursday nights as I've watched 'Dancing on Wheels' and then Eddie Izzard running his 43 marathons. I won't be able to be to hear a certain piece of music without thinking of the lovely Harry and Ms Gale dancing anymore. I can't think what the song is called, but I will always remember his beautiful face as he gazed up from his wheelchair into Ms Gale's eyes every time I hear it. And then of course there was the handsome James and gorgeous Caroline who won the title and went to Tel Avie to represent UK... gosh they were fab and boy could he move.
Once I stopped crying from that show, I would start all over again from watching Eddie's amazing feat. The man was amazing and I have no idea how much my phone bill will be from sponsoring him through a veil of tears at the end of each show, but my god he earned every penny. I can not imagine how he found the strength to run day after day especially when in pain.
Watching 'Sports Relief' tonight made me realise how lucky I am. If I had been born in an African country, I probably would have been dead by now.
I have the sole use of a £3,000 oxygen unit which is on loan to me and if that isn't enough it's filled regularly for free too, plus I have the latest model concentrator just for my use too. Plus I have a team of physios that beat me up twice a week either at my home or at the local hospital. Yet I lust over a new dress which I'll probably only wear once, where a £5 mozzie net would be used every night and day in these third world countries and save so much suffering. I am ashamed of myself at times, because I forget how lucky I really am.
Please don't forget to donate to Sports Relief if you read this.
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 18 March 2010
My name is Debbie and I am a commitment phobe.
Still smarting a bit from the bully on the horse last night, but all and all it was a great night and Oliver thoroughly enjoyed it, so the policeman didn't ruin the evening after all. Plus I learnt that I could be quiet when needs be.
Strangely enough at the end of the day some of us singletons at work got chatting and we decided unconditionally that men were a fickle lot! We even worked out why we went for the types we did. I was a commitment phobe and went for chaps that I knew were the same so I could get the ups and downs, but still go out with the girls when I wanted. Ha some people pays hundreds to find that gem out and we decided that over a cup of tea and some hobnobs.
Won't stop me though doing my little Wicca spells, but I will be more precise for what I ask for in future. No cheats, no drunks, no liars and certainly no men with power issues sitting on big horses... I was nearly there last time, but just forgot to fine tune some of the major things on my wish list!
Lots of love Debbie x
Strangely enough at the end of the day some of us singletons at work got chatting and we decided unconditionally that men were a fickle lot! We even worked out why we went for the types we did. I was a commitment phobe and went for chaps that I knew were the same so I could get the ups and downs, but still go out with the girls when I wanted. Ha some people pays hundreds to find that gem out and we decided that over a cup of tea and some hobnobs.
Won't stop me though doing my little Wicca spells, but I will be more precise for what I ask for in future. No cheats, no drunks, no liars and certainly no men with power issues sitting on big horses... I was nearly there last time, but just forgot to fine tune some of the major things on my wish list!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 17 March 2010
Get off your high horse!
Are all men in uniforms pompous gits?
I have just been told off by a policeman on a horse.
It was my youngest son's 29th birthday today and his choice was to go to the new sushi bar in town. I picked his friend up on route and arranged to meet Oliver and co there. No problem. I had just pulled up in the disabled bays near the restaurant next to two policemen on horses, when one of them moved his horse right next to my car door. Now I am very nervous of horses, so I got out very gingerly only to be told off for having my fog lights on.
'I'm sorry officer, I must have caught the switch accidentally' I told him very apologetically, but he went on and on about depending on his mood, it could be a £30 fine. Once again I apologised and was told it wasn't enough to say I had done it accidentally as I should be in control of my car and I could have been driving with no lights on with that excuse.
Now I am sorry, but I think even I might have noticed that and as for dazzling on coming cars, it may have escaped his notice, but we were in a one way street. It was a harmless mistake.
So is a genuine sorry not worth anything anymore? If I knew my fog lights were on, does he really think I'd have parked right next to his horse? So why try and make me feel small and try and scare me with the 'depending what mood I'm in whether I fine you or not'. If I've done a crime then fine me knob head, not try and make yourself look big in front of your steed! Maybe it was a case the horse being an extension of his penis syndrome?
Anyway the sushi bar was a great success and we all had a jolly good time. So happy birthday Oliver... love you lots baby xxxxxxxxxxxx
I have just been told off by a policeman on a horse.
It was my youngest son's 29th birthday today and his choice was to go to the new sushi bar in town. I picked his friend up on route and arranged to meet Oliver and co there. No problem. I had just pulled up in the disabled bays near the restaurant next to two policemen on horses, when one of them moved his horse right next to my car door. Now I am very nervous of horses, so I got out very gingerly only to be told off for having my fog lights on.
'I'm sorry officer, I must have caught the switch accidentally' I told him very apologetically, but he went on and on about depending on his mood, it could be a £30 fine. Once again I apologised and was told it wasn't enough to say I had done it accidentally as I should be in control of my car and I could have been driving with no lights on with that excuse.
Now I am sorry, but I think even I might have noticed that and as for dazzling on coming cars, it may have escaped his notice, but we were in a one way street. It was a harmless mistake.
So is a genuine sorry not worth anything anymore? If I knew my fog lights were on, does he really think I'd have parked right next to his horse? So why try and make me feel small and try and scare me with the 'depending what mood I'm in whether I fine you or not'. If I've done a crime then fine me knob head, not try and make yourself look big in front of your steed! Maybe it was a case the horse being an extension of his penis syndrome?
Anyway the sushi bar was a great success and we all had a jolly good time. So happy birthday Oliver... love you lots baby xxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Spring has sprung
Ooo I like it when Spring really arrives and today it has.
Firstly I could hear the birds cheeping merrily away as I lay on the top of the bed thinking I was going to melt... no I wasn't having some weird nightmare that I was a candle, just yet another night of hot flushes. I still managed to get out of bed relativity early and feeling relaxed, that would not have been the case if it was peeing down with rain or blowing a gale outside.
Secondly I then drove with my car window open as my winter coat (well my only coat actually) felt far too warm, but it was lovely getting fresh air in to the car. I really don't get enough fresh air each day, must do something about that. I tend to fall asleep lunchtime at work and I can't do that outside in case someone mugs me or worse, that I start snoring and end up on youtube thanks to one of the students filming me on their mobile!
Thirdly, my feet were about a 190 degrees with my socks and ankle boots on... Now that to me is the first sign that the better weather is here.. oh yes.
Is was good being back at work after my house arrest. Had a cuddle with one of girl's brand new gorgeous baby when she popped in with her family. I held him while he was still asleep, as I normally set them off screaming otherwise!
And tomorrow is my babies birthday, only he'll be 29!
Lots of love Debbie x
Firstly I could hear the birds cheeping merrily away as I lay on the top of the bed thinking I was going to melt... no I wasn't having some weird nightmare that I was a candle, just yet another night of hot flushes. I still managed to get out of bed relativity early and feeling relaxed, that would not have been the case if it was peeing down with rain or blowing a gale outside.
Secondly I then drove with my car window open as my winter coat (well my only coat actually) felt far too warm, but it was lovely getting fresh air in to the car. I really don't get enough fresh air each day, must do something about that. I tend to fall asleep lunchtime at work and I can't do that outside in case someone mugs me or worse, that I start snoring and end up on youtube thanks to one of the students filming me on their mobile!
Thirdly, my feet were about a 190 degrees with my socks and ankle boots on... Now that to me is the first sign that the better weather is here.. oh yes.
Is was good being back at work after my house arrest. Had a cuddle with one of girl's brand new gorgeous baby when she popped in with her family. I held him while he was still asleep, as I normally set them off screaming otherwise!
And tomorrow is my babies birthday, only he'll be 29!
Lots of love Debbie x
Monday 15 March 2010
Check once, check twice and check again.
My stomach has actually started to subside thank goodness, but I am peeing for England now as yesterdays two plates of roast gammon made me sooo thirsty!
I even got up at a reasonable time which was good for me, as I have slept so much this weekend that I feel almost lively, then I think about it and think... nah. Anyway back to work tomorrow which is good news and hopefully once again a hospital stay has been diverted.
For someone that hasn't done anything, I've managed to spend a fair sum of money. I thought I'd check what happens with my insurance now I'm on overnight oxygen. Apparently, even though I had declared it not once, but two years running, they hadn't put it down so I actually went to Norway without having enough insurance! God it doesn't bear thinking about. Being transferred from a cruise liner in the middle of a fjord in Norway to a hospital in a country where everything cost an arm and a leg? I'd still be swimming home a year on minus my kidneys where I would have had to sell them to pay for my treatment I reckon.
Well my house arrest is over tomorrow, so work here I come. Put kettle on Sam.
Lots of love Debbie
I even got up at a reasonable time which was good for me, as I have slept so much this weekend that I feel almost lively, then I think about it and think... nah. Anyway back to work tomorrow which is good news and hopefully once again a hospital stay has been diverted.
For someone that hasn't done anything, I've managed to spend a fair sum of money. I thought I'd check what happens with my insurance now I'm on overnight oxygen. Apparently, even though I had declared it not once, but two years running, they hadn't put it down so I actually went to Norway without having enough insurance! God it doesn't bear thinking about. Being transferred from a cruise liner in the middle of a fjord in Norway to a hospital in a country where everything cost an arm and a leg? I'd still be swimming home a year on minus my kidneys where I would have had to sell them to pay for my treatment I reckon.
Well my house arrest is over tomorrow, so work here I come. Put kettle on Sam.
Lots of love Debbie
Sunday 14 March 2010
Mother's day meets Dibley
Oh hell my poor stomach...
Today I re-enacted the Christmas episode of the Vicar of Dibley with me in the starring role as Dawn French.
Set the scence... Oliver, my mother and me versus a large gammon joint.
One large snag, Oliver had forgotten that he had to rehearse first and mother likes to eat early so she can settle down and watch 'Dancing on Ice'.
So I cooked for mother first, gammon, creamed potatoes, tender broccoli spears and carrots, followed by key lime pie.
A couple of cups of tea and a slice of mother's heart shaped chocolate fudge cake that I got her... I know chocolate, but it looked so sweet.
Four hours later, mother's day lunch mark two with Oliver cooking; once again cooked gammon, his amazing roasties, tender broccoli spears, honeyed carrots and cheese sauce. He had the pie and I had melon. I thought otherwise if I didn't eat the fruit, I may actually go bang and die a horrible death. Not death by chocolate, more death by roast dinner.
I did try on a few of my dresses that I was hoping to take on the cruise earlier that morning and strangley enough, I seem to be losing weight everywhere other than off of my stomach.
Now I couldn't even move in my jimjams let alone a fitted dress... must have been the slice of chocolate fudge cake that did it... my penance for breaking lent!
Lots of love Debbie x
Today I re-enacted the Christmas episode of the Vicar of Dibley with me in the starring role as Dawn French.
Set the scence... Oliver, my mother and me versus a large gammon joint.
One large snag, Oliver had forgotten that he had to rehearse first and mother likes to eat early so she can settle down and watch 'Dancing on Ice'.
So I cooked for mother first, gammon, creamed potatoes, tender broccoli spears and carrots, followed by key lime pie.
A couple of cups of tea and a slice of mother's heart shaped chocolate fudge cake that I got her... I know chocolate, but it looked so sweet.
Four hours later, mother's day lunch mark two with Oliver cooking; once again cooked gammon, his amazing roasties, tender broccoli spears, honeyed carrots and cheese sauce. He had the pie and I had melon. I thought otherwise if I didn't eat the fruit, I may actually go bang and die a horrible death. Not death by chocolate, more death by roast dinner.
I did try on a few of my dresses that I was hoping to take on the cruise earlier that morning and strangley enough, I seem to be losing weight everywhere other than off of my stomach.
Now I couldn't even move in my jimjams let alone a fitted dress... must have been the slice of chocolate fudge cake that did it... my penance for breaking lent!
Lots of love Debbie x
Friday 12 March 2010
Do as I'm told or else.
Time to rest up again.
Felt really slow yesterday when I up got and quite puffy again. For two pins I would have rang in sick and gone back to sleep. But thought no, once I get going I'll be fine and I was only 15mins late into work, which I thought was good going considering I felt crap. And true, I did feel better once there, still slow and a couple of times of feeling quite rough; but I could cope.
Got to physio and was told Ruth was in a meeting with the specialist about me. Pants that's always worrying as you know it's not straight forward. Was told later, rest time because if it gets worse hospital for 10days of IV. Ermmm... let me think... I'll rest up.
Today I woke up at 11.10am so I guess I choose right! So two days off from work and an overdose of daytime tv and fingers crossed that my peusdomona levels go down.
I now have a carrot to dangle to help me get well, my cruise tickets have come Hoorah!
Lots of love Debbie x
Felt really slow yesterday when I up got and quite puffy again. For two pins I would have rang in sick and gone back to sleep. But thought no, once I get going I'll be fine and I was only 15mins late into work, which I thought was good going considering I felt crap. And true, I did feel better once there, still slow and a couple of times of feeling quite rough; but I could cope.
Got to physio and was told Ruth was in a meeting with the specialist about me. Pants that's always worrying as you know it's not straight forward. Was told later, rest time because if it gets worse hospital for 10days of IV. Ermmm... let me think... I'll rest up.
Today I woke up at 11.10am so I guess I choose right! So two days off from work and an overdose of daytime tv and fingers crossed that my peusdomona levels go down.
I now have a carrot to dangle to help me get well, my cruise tickets have come Hoorah!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 10 March 2010
Sticky back plastic
Have you ever had an itch that you just have to keep scratching?
Well I have a verruca that I just can't stop trying to get rid of. I've tried going to a chiropodist and having expensive freezer treatment on it over and over again, only to end up after nearly a year worth of treatment, getting another two and keeping the original for my sins.
So I've tried the more unorthodox methods of covering them with gaffer tape... got a sweaty foot... banana skins... got a slimy and slippery foot to drastic measures of shaving them down with a little scalpel, but still not gone. So back to basics and verruca pads yet again.
This time I stuck at it for ages and ended up with these little spongy things growing from my foot, so out came the scalpel again. Was a tad too zealous and hell do feet bleed a lot. Managed to stop the bleeding with plasters on top of plasters, but when I tried to walk on it the next morning, boy did it hurt. It bled again profusely, but I had ran out of plasters by now.
Ann my scout leader friend would have been really impressed with me and I think I would have earned myself a handy craft badge, as I went to work with a bounce in my step... How?
Take one party liner cut in half and place on top of each other. Add some parcel tape and viola... A Blue Peter inner sole with added fresh fragrance!
My son gave me that look again for some reason... can't think why!?
Lots of Love Debbie x
Well I have a verruca that I just can't stop trying to get rid of. I've tried going to a chiropodist and having expensive freezer treatment on it over and over again, only to end up after nearly a year worth of treatment, getting another two and keeping the original for my sins.
So I've tried the more unorthodox methods of covering them with gaffer tape... got a sweaty foot... banana skins... got a slimy and slippery foot to drastic measures of shaving them down with a little scalpel, but still not gone. So back to basics and verruca pads yet again.
This time I stuck at it for ages and ended up with these little spongy things growing from my foot, so out came the scalpel again. Was a tad too zealous and hell do feet bleed a lot. Managed to stop the bleeding with plasters on top of plasters, but when I tried to walk on it the next morning, boy did it hurt. It bled again profusely, but I had ran out of plasters by now.
Ann my scout leader friend would have been really impressed with me and I think I would have earned myself a handy craft badge, as I went to work with a bounce in my step... How?
Take one party liner cut in half and place on top of each other. Add some parcel tape and viola... A Blue Peter inner sole with added fresh fragrance!
My son gave me that look again for some reason... can't think why!?
Lots of Love Debbie x
Tuesday 9 March 2010
New bruises and spaniel ears
Another cold day both outside and inside the office.
Had my mammogram today... third one in as many years, so if not careful I'll be able to roll my breasts up like spaniels ears and shove them in my bra!
Mind you today was very quick and efficient, just a shame I wasn't... Whenever someone tells me to hold my breath, I always panic and end up coughing. I'd never be any use to anyone on a stake out. I of course coughed while my right breast had been squashed so much it looked like the thickness of a scone before it's being cooked!
I don't know if you've ever noticed, but when you cough you jerk back instinctly. Try doing that when your breast is held in a vice like grip in an x-ray machine. I of course swore a very rude word, that made me cough even more, so she had to release my handful of breast from it's half nelson grip, until after several gulps of water later I had my coughing fit under control.
I don't think she was very impressed with me, but I on the other hand was very impressed that I had to hold the other breast out the way when the squished one was being x-rayed. I was however less impressed when she pushed my stomach down and out the way too, but I'm sure that was retaliation for me cocking up her x-ray.
Just have to wait two weeks now.
Lots of love Debbie x
Had my mammogram today... third one in as many years, so if not careful I'll be able to roll my breasts up like spaniels ears and shove them in my bra!
Mind you today was very quick and efficient, just a shame I wasn't... Whenever someone tells me to hold my breath, I always panic and end up coughing. I'd never be any use to anyone on a stake out. I of course coughed while my right breast had been squashed so much it looked like the thickness of a scone before it's being cooked!
I don't know if you've ever noticed, but when you cough you jerk back instinctly. Try doing that when your breast is held in a vice like grip in an x-ray machine. I of course swore a very rude word, that made me cough even more, so she had to release my handful of breast from it's half nelson grip, until after several gulps of water later I had my coughing fit under control.
I don't think she was very impressed with me, but I on the other hand was very impressed that I had to hold the other breast out the way when the squished one was being x-rayed. I was however less impressed when she pushed my stomach down and out the way too, but I'm sure that was retaliation for me cocking up her x-ray.
Just have to wait two weeks now.
Lots of love Debbie x
Monday 8 March 2010
All things bright and bloody cold!
Blimey it's brass monkeys out there today.
Just shows how looks can be deceiving as it looked so sunny and bright, but as soon as you walked outside your ears didn't half twang. Still the drive in was lovely, hardly any traffic until I got nearer the uni and then I did get stuck, it was outside a little cemetery that you don't normally notice when driving. Looking through the cobbley bricked arch and the old wooden gates at the overgrown grasses tinged with frost, it was like looking at a picture postcard.
Also what was cute was the little bunches of roadside snowdrops that I passed on the way into work, they looked like little bunches of random kindness.
Had a massage lunchtime for Mission Croatia. It's where our lovely ex chaplain, some staff and students go over to Croatia to the same children home come hospital each year to help restore it and keep it in working order. I would have loved to go, but I'd be more of a hinderance now. So I did my bit and paid for a fundraising massage and bonus... I feel like I've got a long neck again! I get so round shouldered carrying my oxygen around all the time that it's lovely to have a good old rub down.
I shall sleep well tonight.
Lots of love Debbie x
Just shows how looks can be deceiving as it looked so sunny and bright, but as soon as you walked outside your ears didn't half twang. Still the drive in was lovely, hardly any traffic until I got nearer the uni and then I did get stuck, it was outside a little cemetery that you don't normally notice when driving. Looking through the cobbley bricked arch and the old wooden gates at the overgrown grasses tinged with frost, it was like looking at a picture postcard.
Also what was cute was the little bunches of roadside snowdrops that I passed on the way into work, they looked like little bunches of random kindness.
Had a massage lunchtime for Mission Croatia. It's where our lovely ex chaplain, some staff and students go over to Croatia to the same children home come hospital each year to help restore it and keep it in working order. I would have loved to go, but I'd be more of a hinderance now. So I did my bit and paid for a fundraising massage and bonus... I feel like I've got a long neck again! I get so round shouldered carrying my oxygen around all the time that it's lovely to have a good old rub down.
I shall sleep well tonight.
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday 6 March 2010
Good news and new knickers
Hoorah... I can tell people at last. My youngest son is getting married to the beautiful and kindhearted Reni this summer. Yep that's right we have about four months to organise a wedding... doddle.
We went to see the restaurant where they will hold one of the parties and they looked so excited the pair of them. It's so good to have some good news in your life for a change, long may it continue. I can foresee some problems ahead, but for today I will push to the back of my mind and I will face those problems as and when they come knocking.
Mind you for a young man that said he was keeping right out of it and was going to let us organise it, he got mighty upset when Reni said he couldn't have black sparkly bits!
I went to buy some new knickers to celebrate and ended up with two bags of new clothes... They will be going back on Tuesday on my way to physio. I'll put it done to temporary insanity. Most people would believe that, well they might find the temporary bit hard to swallow!
Lots of love Debbie x
We went to see the restaurant where they will hold one of the parties and they looked so excited the pair of them. It's so good to have some good news in your life for a change, long may it continue. I can foresee some problems ahead, but for today I will push to the back of my mind and I will face those problems as and when they come knocking.
Mind you for a young man that said he was keeping right out of it and was going to let us organise it, he got mighty upset when Reni said he couldn't have black sparkly bits!
I went to buy some new knickers to celebrate and ended up with two bags of new clothes... They will be going back on Tuesday on my way to physio. I'll put it done to temporary insanity. Most people would believe that, well they might find the temporary bit hard to swallow!
Lots of love Debbie x
Friday 5 March 2010
Amazing how good weather on a Friday makes you feel so much more alert and gives you get up and go.
Alright thanks to the plaster incident yesterday, I'm getting up and going a hell of a lot slower and I do resemble John Wayne when I walk, but the lift a sunny gives your mood is brilliant.
I love everyone... ok nearly everyone... and tonight I'm off to see Johnny Depp, does the day get any better?!
Lots of love Debbie x
Alright thanks to the plaster incident yesterday, I'm getting up and going a hell of a lot slower and I do resemble John Wayne when I walk, but the lift a sunny gives your mood is brilliant.
I love everyone... ok nearly everyone... and tonight I'm off to see Johnny Depp, does the day get any better?!
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 4 March 2010
7 Things I have learnt today
Learnt 7 helpful things today.
1. To wear water wings at all times on the cruise holiday and sunbathe right by the life boat station, as one liner was struck yesterday by a giant wave and two people died. Weird thing was it was just off France in the Med.. not good, as Madeira has already had mud slides and that's our first port of call! And I thought the cruise holiday was going to be the doddle and all would go wrong with the flying holiday.
2. Me feeling crap could be down to another virus, as Sam's daughter has gone down with something very similar sounding, a rasping cough like a dog barking with a sore throat etc. Sam couldn't stop sneezing and her eyes running nonstop come lunchtime. We reckon it's because the catkins are out and she has an allergy.
3. Physio makes you feel and breathe so much better... thank you Hannah.
4. Little boil on the top of your leg really does hurt like hell... A plaster on it made it feel better.
5. Duh... Never put a plaster on a boil at the top of your leg! Seriously because when you remove the plaster it hurts like f***, exactly like having a bikini wax and my language was exactly the same too strangely enough! Also found out that the new Avon mascara isn't waterproof, as I resembled Alice Cooper, but with a plaster in my hand rather than a snake!
6. The brand new toothpaste that the dentist recommended yesterday is very, very expensive... better work.
7. Chocolate must be good for your diet, as since giving it up for Lent, I've gained weight... Gawd damn it, my tummy is HUGE!
Lots of love Debbie x
1. To wear water wings at all times on the cruise holiday and sunbathe right by the life boat station, as one liner was struck yesterday by a giant wave and two people died. Weird thing was it was just off France in the Med.. not good, as Madeira has already had mud slides and that's our first port of call! And I thought the cruise holiday was going to be the doddle and all would go wrong with the flying holiday.
2. Me feeling crap could be down to another virus, as Sam's daughter has gone down with something very similar sounding, a rasping cough like a dog barking with a sore throat etc. Sam couldn't stop sneezing and her eyes running nonstop come lunchtime. We reckon it's because the catkins are out and she has an allergy.
3. Physio makes you feel and breathe so much better... thank you Hannah.
4. Little boil on the top of your leg really does hurt like hell... A plaster on it made it feel better.
5. Duh... Never put a plaster on a boil at the top of your leg! Seriously because when you remove the plaster it hurts like f***, exactly like having a bikini wax and my language was exactly the same too strangely enough! Also found out that the new Avon mascara isn't waterproof, as I resembled Alice Cooper, but with a plaster in my hand rather than a snake!
6. The brand new toothpaste that the dentist recommended yesterday is very, very expensive... better work.
7. Chocolate must be good for your diet, as since giving it up for Lent, I've gained weight... Gawd damn it, my tummy is HUGE!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 3 March 2010
Catch me while you can!
Very strange, but I seem to have become a wanted woman to the male species just of late... In days of old I was a wanton woman, but since November I have been a model of virtue again. And before that I was near enough a reborn virgin... I swear I had healed over at one point as it had been so long!
But my two ex's seem to be in dire need to keep trying to contact me ever since I told them that I was seeing someone else and we were going to try and make it work. Since then he has disappeared into his own problems and they try and contact me on a daily basis... why!? I don't even answer the texts or calls with one of them, the other I'm friendly enough yes, but not a 'come hither young man to my boudoir' in sight.
I must admit nowadays my idea of being hot in bed is the menopause doing a come back in the middle of the night yet again. Half of me is very tempted to let them back in my life just to see their faces when they see me with my tubes etc... I can imagine one of them hot footing it down the garden path so fast that he'd easily win a gold medal come 2012!
I know sex isn't a problem with this disease. In fact I think it's a turn on for the man as you are breathless before you start, so they think they are real sex machines pressing all the right buttons bless them. But I can't see most men seeing past the nose specs on a first sighting. Men that know me can, but they are all spoken for so I wonder should I give the two another go? What do you think huh?
Lots of love Debbie x
But my two ex's seem to be in dire need to keep trying to contact me ever since I told them that I was seeing someone else and we were going to try and make it work. Since then he has disappeared into his own problems and they try and contact me on a daily basis... why!? I don't even answer the texts or calls with one of them, the other I'm friendly enough yes, but not a 'come hither young man to my boudoir' in sight.
I must admit nowadays my idea of being hot in bed is the menopause doing a come back in the middle of the night yet again. Half of me is very tempted to let them back in my life just to see their faces when they see me with my tubes etc... I can imagine one of them hot footing it down the garden path so fast that he'd easily win a gold medal come 2012!
I know sex isn't a problem with this disease. In fact I think it's a turn on for the man as you are breathless before you start, so they think they are real sex machines pressing all the right buttons bless them. But I can't see most men seeing past the nose specs on a first sighting. Men that know me can, but they are all spoken for so I wonder should I give the two another go? What do you think huh?
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 2 March 2010
Two shadows
A hard day today.
Started with an ex departmental friend coming in to see us. When I asked how she was as I knew she had been suffering with her asthma, she told me that she had been diagnosed as having bronchiectasis. When I told her that is what I have, her smile fell, she froze and there was a momentary shadow of fear across her face as she knows that I'm on oxygen etc.
I explained that it didn't happen like that in all cases, just unfortunately I was a severe case, but it didn't have to be all doom and gloom. We laughed about silly thinks that had happened to us both.
She went off smiling, but you could see I hadn't improved her day in anyway.
My day got worse when I read my emails. I had an email from my friend's wife from rehab to say that he had passed away last month. We had started rehab together and between them they made it less scary for me and in the end it was great fun, so I looked forward to going there. I think he had pulmonary fibrosis, which is a disease that takes no prisoners. He had fought it by surviving longer than most and in that summer at rehab had touched my life and heart. The three of us had giggled and took the pee out of each other twice a week and ganged up against the physios, mostly behind their backs, because we were too scared of them to do it to their faces. We didn't moan and gave every exercise our best, although there were those that were never happier than when complaining about their lot in life.
There was a shadow of fear across my face then as it makes you contemplate your own mortality and you silence sending yourself up for a couple of minutes to let a few tears fall for a dear friend, his wife and yours truly, as you admit to yourself that you are scared too. Then that moment passes and it's business as usual.
Lots of love my dear friends. God bless. Debbie x
Started with an ex departmental friend coming in to see us. When I asked how she was as I knew she had been suffering with her asthma, she told me that she had been diagnosed as having bronchiectasis. When I told her that is what I have, her smile fell, she froze and there was a momentary shadow of fear across her face as she knows that I'm on oxygen etc.
I explained that it didn't happen like that in all cases, just unfortunately I was a severe case, but it didn't have to be all doom and gloom. We laughed about silly thinks that had happened to us both.
She went off smiling, but you could see I hadn't improved her day in anyway.
My day got worse when I read my emails. I had an email from my friend's wife from rehab to say that he had passed away last month. We had started rehab together and between them they made it less scary for me and in the end it was great fun, so I looked forward to going there. I think he had pulmonary fibrosis, which is a disease that takes no prisoners. He had fought it by surviving longer than most and in that summer at rehab had touched my life and heart. The three of us had giggled and took the pee out of each other twice a week and ganged up against the physios, mostly behind their backs, because we were too scared of them to do it to their faces. We didn't moan and gave every exercise our best, although there were those that were never happier than when complaining about their lot in life.
There was a shadow of fear across my face then as it makes you contemplate your own mortality and you silence sending yourself up for a couple of minutes to let a few tears fall for a dear friend, his wife and yours truly, as you admit to yourself that you are scared too. Then that moment passes and it's business as usual.
Lots of love my dear friends. God bless. Debbie x
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