Thought that going out for Sunday lunch would make my life easier and that I could relax for a change. No preparing food, no cooking and no washing up... duh wrong... Had to prepare mother first by cutting and styling her hair.
Still she looked lovely with her new hair style and her newly painted nails and I think she enjoyed the meal too. I did. It's good to see so many familiar faces again, it's why I like living in a village, that you are known by so many people.
I think I confused people though by having my oxygen on, then not and then on again. And I think a couple on my table were a bit uncomfortable with it, as they didn't know where to look or what to say. I just carried chatting on as normal, but there was a definite 'giraffe walking into the room' moment.
Feel a bit better today and I think I might have sussed out why I felt so worn out yesterday, as I woke up coughing this morning and carried for ages. A dry raspy cough, that sounded like a dog barking with a sore throat... no rude comments Julie! It has been very hot and stuffy at work, so I wouldn't be a bit surprised if I've caught something new. Wouldn't be surprised, but I would be bloody annoyed. Fingers crossed it passes.
Lots of love Debbie x
About Me
- Me...Debbie Burden... or known as Burders
- I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!
Sunday 28 February 2010
Saturday 27 February 2010
Ok... who has taken my batteries out? I am so damn tired. I'm ok at work as long as I don't actually walk around too much, but when I get home I am exhausted. Then strangely enough at the weekends I seem to hit an all time low.... why?
I know I try and do all my housework and then do chores for mother, but I feel as if my body is on a go slow while I'm doing it. Unfair if you ask me, as I want to be bright and breezy at the weekends and it all seemed very promising with the overnight O2 at the start. Maybe I'm not pacing myself? Or perhaps I need a holiday, I prefer that reasoning. I wonder if I can get one on the NHS? A private NHS jet, so no hassles about my oxygen, a beach hut somewhere gorgeous and 24hr man servant to attend to my every whim... Ooo bliss.
Still we had new weather here today... sunshine. That was nice, made you feel better and my sheets got a lovely airing on the washing line. They smelt so good when I got them in.
Plus the sweet girl at the garden centre made me cheese on toast this afternoon too... Perhaps life isn't as bad as first thought, just got to find my pesky batteries though!
Lots of love Debbie x
I know I try and do all my housework and then do chores for mother, but I feel as if my body is on a go slow while I'm doing it. Unfair if you ask me, as I want to be bright and breezy at the weekends and it all seemed very promising with the overnight O2 at the start. Maybe I'm not pacing myself? Or perhaps I need a holiday, I prefer that reasoning. I wonder if I can get one on the NHS? A private NHS jet, so no hassles about my oxygen, a beach hut somewhere gorgeous and 24hr man servant to attend to my every whim... Ooo bliss.
Still we had new weather here today... sunshine. That was nice, made you feel better and my sheets got a lovely airing on the washing line. They smelt so good when I got them in.
Plus the sweet girl at the garden centre made me cheese on toast this afternoon too... Perhaps life isn't as bad as first thought, just got to find my pesky batteries though!
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 25 February 2010
Elvis has left the building
Ooo I went home from work with a big mumma of a headache yesterday, it was so stuffy and hot in the office even with the windows open. Both Sam and myself were flagging big time.
I had gone in to work so bouncy thanks to the good news about my blood oxygen levels and by the end of the day, I could feel myself wilting like the little flower that I am. Still the knowledge that I had beaten 16hr O2 again was a good feeling.. this girl has more comebacks than Elvis!
Got to mother's bungalow and once again she had been moving the armchairs around her front room. How the hell she manages at 92 is beyond me and I tried not to nag her, but she does push the right buttons when it comes to me at times. I'm so glad I'm not a Catholic, because I would have to have a 24-7 confession box with an on call priest just for me with the guilt I get from thinking I've upset mother. All I kept thinking was what would happened if she had a heart attack etc in the night because of moving the furniture and my last words to her were ones of the nagging kind?
Oliver said I was being daft, which is probably true and I had called her again and wished her goodnight and told her I loved her. The good thing about her losing her memory is she forgets any upsets we have... or does she?
It was dad's 20th anniversary of his death too yesterday. God I miss him so much. Took her some flowers round tonight as an 'I'm sorry' and 'I miss him too' but without saying as she seemed in a good mood and I didn't want to upset her if she had forgot. I then went down to get her some goodies to satisfy her sweet tooth. Had a cuddle with her so hopefully I can take the hair shirt off again. It's hard loving some one so much isn't it?
Lots of love Debbie x
I had gone in to work so bouncy thanks to the good news about my blood oxygen levels and by the end of the day, I could feel myself wilting like the little flower that I am. Still the knowledge that I had beaten 16hr O2 again was a good feeling.. this girl has more comebacks than Elvis!
Got to mother's bungalow and once again she had been moving the armchairs around her front room. How the hell she manages at 92 is beyond me and I tried not to nag her, but she does push the right buttons when it comes to me at times. I'm so glad I'm not a Catholic, because I would have to have a 24-7 confession box with an on call priest just for me with the guilt I get from thinking I've upset mother. All I kept thinking was what would happened if she had a heart attack etc in the night because of moving the furniture and my last words to her were ones of the nagging kind?
Oliver said I was being daft, which is probably true and I had called her again and wished her goodnight and told her I loved her. The good thing about her losing her memory is she forgets any upsets we have... or does she?
It was dad's 20th anniversary of his death too yesterday. God I miss him so much. Took her some flowers round tonight as an 'I'm sorry' and 'I miss him too' but without saying as she seemed in a good mood and I didn't want to upset her if she had forgot. I then went down to get her some goodies to satisfy her sweet tooth. Had a cuddle with her so hopefully I can take the hair shirt off again. It's hard loving some one so much isn't it?
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Hoorah my oxygen levels in my blood are up which means the machine from hell is working... Whoah ho!
I am really pleased with myself. I really can't tell you how nervous I was yesterday worrying about the appointment today. And the trouble is when I get nervous, I talk absolute gibberish, which is not the best when you are at work.
I can't sleep either and I eat any old rubbish that I can lay my hands on well, apart from chocolate, because since that last slip up I'm being holier than thou and I forget to talk a breath when talking as you may have just noticed!
And I snort when I laugh when I'm nervous.. In fact it's best to avoid me at all costs, but hoorah I'm safe for another three months at least... well unless my mother has me doing some more furniture arranging or something equalling calming not, after a hard day at work... and then forget overnight o2, as they'll go straight for the 16 hours oxygen. So calm down Debbie.
Lots of love Debbie x
I am really pleased with myself. I really can't tell you how nervous I was yesterday worrying about the appointment today. And the trouble is when I get nervous, I talk absolute gibberish, which is not the best when you are at work.
I can't sleep either and I eat any old rubbish that I can lay my hands on well, apart from chocolate, because since that last slip up I'm being holier than thou and I forget to talk a breath when talking as you may have just noticed!
And I snort when I laugh when I'm nervous.. In fact it's best to avoid me at all costs, but hoorah I'm safe for another three months at least... well unless my mother has me doing some more furniture arranging or something equalling calming not, after a hard day at work... and then forget overnight o2, as they'll go straight for the 16 hours oxygen. So calm down Debbie.
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 23 February 2010
I hate this weather
Really getting naffed off of this weather now. Yesterday I drove through two floods and a snow storm to get to work, only to find when I got to the other side of Gt Leighs there was no snow... nothing... diddly squat.
There was me thinking I was heroic and showing great determination to get to work and no one knew... what a bummer.
Today I had to drive home through another snow storm. Really, if I had wanted to live in a snowy country, I would have stayed in Norway last year, at least they won the Eurovision contest!
Definitely feeling more lively since starting the overnight o2 and that can sometime backfire on me. Today when I got to mother's, the mad old bat had dragged her new heavy chair across the room, so that meant I would have to move the others or she would do it as soon as I went home out the door. One near collapse later from me and mother not liking the new arrangement, I realised I wasn't quite as perky as I thought I was. Still it took me only 20mins to stop thinking I was about to die and for my colour to turn back from white to grey to puce to rosy, so that was good news.
I can't really complain about mother wanting everything done there and then, because I can't wait for anything myself... as Oliver points out I am my mother's daughter!
Maybe I should have waited though as I'm having my oxygen levels done tomorrow by the lovely Vera. Oh well what happens, happens.
Lots of love Debbie x
There was me thinking I was heroic and showing great determination to get to work and no one knew... what a bummer.
Today I had to drive home through another snow storm. Really, if I had wanted to live in a snowy country, I would have stayed in Norway last year, at least they won the Eurovision contest!
Definitely feeling more lively since starting the overnight o2 and that can sometime backfire on me. Today when I got to mother's, the mad old bat had dragged her new heavy chair across the room, so that meant I would have to move the others or she would do it as soon as I went home out the door. One near collapse later from me and mother not liking the new arrangement, I realised I wasn't quite as perky as I thought I was. Still it took me only 20mins to stop thinking I was about to die and for my colour to turn back from white to grey to puce to rosy, so that was good news.
I can't really complain about mother wanting everything done there and then, because I can't wait for anything myself... as Oliver points out I am my mother's daughter!
Maybe I should have waited though as I'm having my oxygen levels done tomorrow by the lovely Vera. Oh well what happens, happens.
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 21 February 2010
Stacey who?
Think the overnight oxygen is beginning to kick in as I am beginning to have more energy.
Yesterday after the woman from the bank's over sea's call centre upset my mother, I went and hacked down some of the old Russian vine had which spread like wildfire and was choking a rather pretty bush in my garden last summer. I was left puffing and panting like a woman in the last stages of labour and scratched to buggery from the branches, but it felt so good to do something again and I had a full green bin to show for my troubles.
Today I changed the sheets on my bed all by myself and without having to have a couple of lie downs in between the task. Then cooked a roast dinner, put mother's recycling out and still had the strength to keep repeating who had killed Archie in Eastenders every 10 mins, as mother bless her kept forgetting. Even when to avoid repetition I changed who did it, it didn't matter as she'd forget that as well! Even when Stacey said it was her at the very end of the episode, mother missed that bit. Stacey did rather say it like a ventriloquist dummy and mother missed the confession... although apparently she had a really bad sore throat, so she's forgiven.
Oliver says that I am turning into mother and bless him I think he is right, as today I read my mega dose Vitamin C tablet tub. I thought swallowing them was rather like swallowing a horse tablet... apparently you are supposed to chew them! I wonder how long they take to dissolve in your stomach????
Move over mother, I'm coming in!
Lots of love Debbie x
Yesterday after the woman from the bank's over sea's call centre upset my mother, I went and hacked down some of the old Russian vine had which spread like wildfire and was choking a rather pretty bush in my garden last summer. I was left puffing and panting like a woman in the last stages of labour and scratched to buggery from the branches, but it felt so good to do something again and I had a full green bin to show for my troubles.
Today I changed the sheets on my bed all by myself and without having to have a couple of lie downs in between the task. Then cooked a roast dinner, put mother's recycling out and still had the strength to keep repeating who had killed Archie in Eastenders every 10 mins, as mother bless her kept forgetting. Even when to avoid repetition I changed who did it, it didn't matter as she'd forget that as well! Even when Stacey said it was her at the very end of the episode, mother missed that bit. Stacey did rather say it like a ventriloquist dummy and mother missed the confession... although apparently she had a really bad sore throat, so she's forgiven.
Oliver says that I am turning into mother and bless him I think he is right, as today I read my mega dose Vitamin C tablet tub. I thought swallowing them was rather like swallowing a horse tablet... apparently you are supposed to chew them! I wonder how long they take to dissolve in your stomach????
Move over mother, I'm coming in!
Lots of love Debbie x
Saturday 20 February 2010
frustrations
A day full off frustrations today.
My mum bless her who is 92 as you know, wanted to check whether a cheque she had sent off had been cashed. So as normal I rang the bank and after waiting in a queue for I don't know how long, I was put through to an overseas call centre. I explained that I was ringing up on behalf of my mother who was quite deaf, but was sitting here next to me ready to tell them they had her permission to talk business with me as we usually do on the phone to them.
Mum gave them her card number with me calling it out as she can't make out the silver numbers very clearly. After quite a few 'excuse me I don't understand you dear, can you speak up and clearly' , she told them her date of birth, her maiden name and then they asked her what her mother's maiden name was. Once again she told them, but they reckoned it was wrong. Then when she said that she couldn't understand what the young lady was saying, the young girl said that I would have to get power of attorney!
Why? Because my mother couldn't understand what the young lady was saying, because she was calling from an overseas call centre with a very strong accent that even I had trouble understanding, the young lady thought she wasn't able to take care of her business! All mother is... is old and partially deaf not frigging stupid!
Now I have to have time off work to see someone at the bank, talk to my family to see who is going to be power of attorney and scare my poor mum to death. I am Furious with a captipal F!
Any advice anyone please????
Lots of love Debbie x
My mum bless her who is 92 as you know, wanted to check whether a cheque she had sent off had been cashed. So as normal I rang the bank and after waiting in a queue for I don't know how long, I was put through to an overseas call centre. I explained that I was ringing up on behalf of my mother who was quite deaf, but was sitting here next to me ready to tell them they had her permission to talk business with me as we usually do on the phone to them.
Mum gave them her card number with me calling it out as she can't make out the silver numbers very clearly. After quite a few 'excuse me I don't understand you dear, can you speak up and clearly' , she told them her date of birth, her maiden name and then they asked her what her mother's maiden name was. Once again she told them, but they reckoned it was wrong. Then when she said that she couldn't understand what the young lady was saying, the young girl said that I would have to get power of attorney!
Why? Because my mother couldn't understand what the young lady was saying, because she was calling from an overseas call centre with a very strong accent that even I had trouble understanding, the young lady thought she wasn't able to take care of her business! All mother is... is old and partially deaf not frigging stupid!
Now I have to have time off work to see someone at the bank, talk to my family to see who is going to be power of attorney and scare my poor mum to death. I am Furious with a captipal F!
Any advice anyone please????
Lots of love Debbie x
Friday 19 February 2010
Sleeping beauty again
Ahhh peace reigns in my little bungalow again, especially now I have sent my concentrator to Coventry or should I say sent to my hall way.
It had got to crisis point as I was waking up feeling worse than what I did before I started on the overnight therapy and I was not a happy bunny. Wednesday night my ears were so tender from wearing earplugs (as we know I am a delicate flower) that the thought of wearing them again filled me with horror and I could still hear the blasted machine through them. The thing from hell sounds like an old fat man laying flat on his back making spluttering noises as escaping air vibrates through his lips... 2am it was me or the machine from hell and I was a woman possessed!
I dragged the machine puffing and panting (that was me and the machine) around my bedroom after doing a check that the air tubes were long enough to reach across the other side of my bedroom by jumping about my bed, cursing and blinding. I then cast it out into the hall way. Checked that I wouldn't break my neck in the dark over the leads etc when I fumbled about in the dark to go to the loo in about another hour and viola.. door shut and quiet enough to sleep and I have done for two nights now... hoorah! Fingers crossed that peace carries on in the Burden bungalow.
lots of love Debbie x
It had got to crisis point as I was waking up feeling worse than what I did before I started on the overnight therapy and I was not a happy bunny. Wednesday night my ears were so tender from wearing earplugs (as we know I am a delicate flower) that the thought of wearing them again filled me with horror and I could still hear the blasted machine through them. The thing from hell sounds like an old fat man laying flat on his back making spluttering noises as escaping air vibrates through his lips... 2am it was me or the machine from hell and I was a woman possessed!
I dragged the machine puffing and panting (that was me and the machine) around my bedroom after doing a check that the air tubes were long enough to reach across the other side of my bedroom by jumping about my bed, cursing and blinding. I then cast it out into the hall way. Checked that I wouldn't break my neck in the dark over the leads etc when I fumbled about in the dark to go to the loo in about another hour and viola.. door shut and quiet enough to sleep and I have done for two nights now... hoorah! Fingers crossed that peace carries on in the Burden bungalow.
lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 17 February 2010
Light bulb moment
Somehow I don't think that I'm going to lose any weight by giving up chocolate for Lent. Ok I know Lent isn't about getting a better figure, but if losing weight is a by product of being good, then I'm in! Of course eating 3/4 of a family size bag of wine gums, a large slice of Bakewell tart and whatever else I could find at work after my lunch, is not going to help.
But I needed a little boost today. My nose is killing me from where the overnight oxygen is drying out the lining of my nostrils and causing lots of little nose bleeds. I feel like I've done 10 rounds with some scary boxer. My ears feel like I've got two seashells strapped to them, as all I can hear is whooshing noises like the sea from where my earplugs are having a weird effect on them. And all I want to do at work come 2pm is sleep and we are expecting a mystery shopper, so I have to be smiley and alert... Oh gawd help me!
So I've now worked out how having the night O2 stops your vital organs from shutting down or you going into a coma when your stats drop rapidly while you are sleeping... The frigging concentrator doesn't let you frigging relax long enough for you to frigging drop off in the first place let alone fall into a frigging coma.... Aaaaaarrgghh!
Now to rub salt into the wounds I got home from work to find I've got to have another mammogram next month. No wonder my boobs look like Spaniel dogs ears just lately as they've been squashed three times in the past three years in that huge straightening machine!
AND my mother has her photo printed in this weeks Woman's Weekly and looks gorgeous at 92 years old and I look and feel 92! Help me Gok Wan!
Lots of love Debbie x
But I needed a little boost today. My nose is killing me from where the overnight oxygen is drying out the lining of my nostrils and causing lots of little nose bleeds. I feel like I've done 10 rounds with some scary boxer. My ears feel like I've got two seashells strapped to them, as all I can hear is whooshing noises like the sea from where my earplugs are having a weird effect on them. And all I want to do at work come 2pm is sleep and we are expecting a mystery shopper, so I have to be smiley and alert... Oh gawd help me!
So I've now worked out how having the night O2 stops your vital organs from shutting down or you going into a coma when your stats drop rapidly while you are sleeping... The frigging concentrator doesn't let you frigging relax long enough for you to frigging drop off in the first place let alone fall into a frigging coma.... Aaaaaarrgghh!
Now to rub salt into the wounds I got home from work to find I've got to have another mammogram next month. No wonder my boobs look like Spaniel dogs ears just lately as they've been squashed three times in the past three years in that huge straightening machine!
AND my mother has her photo printed in this weeks Woman's Weekly and looks gorgeous at 92 years old and I look and feel 92! Help me Gok Wan!
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 16 February 2010
40 days 40 nights
Pancake feast done and dusted. Next, 40 longs day of NO chocolate... what have I agreed too!? Still done it before and can do it again. Though I did polish off nearly a box of mother's Malteasers after I cooked and demolished our pancakes, I shall be farting from England tonight!
I have got to get my spare tyre under control again, especially as it looks like a tyre from a Massey Ferguson tractor! And now my belly dancing has been stopped due to my physio days being changed again and rehab day being changed, I'm not getting any exercise. So my old friend chocolate must go.
Was supposed to have my stats re-done tomorrow to see how the overnight oxygen is taking shape, but poor old Vera is under the weather. So we'll wait a few more days and then see what's happening, maybe its the oxygen blowing my stomach up?? yeah right... I am a fat git because I eat too much... mystery solved.
Lots of love Debbie x
I have got to get my spare tyre under control again, especially as it looks like a tyre from a Massey Ferguson tractor! And now my belly dancing has been stopped due to my physio days being changed again and rehab day being changed, I'm not getting any exercise. So my old friend chocolate must go.
Was supposed to have my stats re-done tomorrow to see how the overnight oxygen is taking shape, but poor old Vera is under the weather. So we'll wait a few more days and then see what's happening, maybe its the oxygen blowing my stomach up?? yeah right... I am a fat git because I eat too much... mystery solved.
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 14 February 2010
Valentine's Day
Well I can't say I was showered with 'lurve' this weekend from my so called 'chappie'. One text from him saying he's had a very bad week... Honey you have no idea how bad your week is going to get! Plus two texts from exs... one very sweet one and one rather racy one... but plenty of 'lurve' from all my girlie friends.
We had a brilliant night at Friday's Murder Mystery evening and I'm pleased to say I won the wooden spoon for the most inventive answer or the worst guess, depending on your way of looking at things, I prefer the former! As it was centred around a seance, I declared that it was the mediums late husband as he was naffed off for being kept waiting and decided to kill the first one out on the landing. He was hoping to kill Agnes and got Nathanial instead, but hey ho such is life!
My mystery of the night was how did my earplugs end up in a perfectly positioned together on top of my mobile placed on my bedside table in the middle of the night.... any ideas Sherlock???
Saturday night 'me Julie' cooked a scrummy meal for all six of us and there was lots of good food, lots of tasty wine and lots of arguing... sorry debating between myself and Derek. I forgot how well we can argue when we get going... fab! A brilliant evening.
Today I cooked a Valentine's Lunch for my mother and she really enjoyed it. I cook every Sunday for her, but did the table up for her with roses and candles... She loved it.
I bit out of puff today, but for a busy weekend, I've done well. I love my friends, every single one of them... thank you for caring about me.
Lots and lots of Love Debbie xx
We had a brilliant night at Friday's Murder Mystery evening and I'm pleased to say I won the wooden spoon for the most inventive answer or the worst guess, depending on your way of looking at things, I prefer the former! As it was centred around a seance, I declared that it was the mediums late husband as he was naffed off for being kept waiting and decided to kill the first one out on the landing. He was hoping to kill Agnes and got Nathanial instead, but hey ho such is life!
My mystery of the night was how did my earplugs end up in a perfectly positioned together on top of my mobile placed on my bedside table in the middle of the night.... any ideas Sherlock???
Saturday night 'me Julie' cooked a scrummy meal for all six of us and there was lots of good food, lots of tasty wine and lots of arguing... sorry debating between myself and Derek. I forgot how well we can argue when we get going... fab! A brilliant evening.
Today I cooked a Valentine's Lunch for my mother and she really enjoyed it. I cook every Sunday for her, but did the table up for her with roses and candles... She loved it.
I bit out of puff today, but for a busy weekend, I've done well. I love my friends, every single one of them... thank you for caring about me.
Lots and lots of Love Debbie xx
Friday 12 February 2010
Sleeping Beauty
Hoorah I actually slept! Mind you I was so tired from virtually no sleep the sleep the night before, that I collapsed in bed at 10.30pm - which is unheard of for me, normally I'm at 1am girl- complete with my new super duper earplugs and slept solid till 3.30am... bonus!
They are very strange a bit like chewing gum that you roll into a ball and then stick in your ears. Apart from worrying that as if I couldn't hear the machine, how was I going to hear my wake up alarms... I say alarms because I set three... and another dodgy moment when I woke up again around 5am ish with one earplug missing. Thought as it was like chewing gum, it might be stuck in my hair and I'd have to cut it out!
But all in all a great success... Hair still on my head, hoorah and got to work on time.. a little hoorah!
So I thought I would be brave and put my new official one and only ever, photo of me in tubes on the website!
Off to a Murder Mystery night tonight, so have a fab weekend
Lots of love Debbie x
They are very strange a bit like chewing gum that you roll into a ball and then stick in your ears. Apart from worrying that as if I couldn't hear the machine, how was I going to hear my wake up alarms... I say alarms because I set three... and another dodgy moment when I woke up again around 5am ish with one earplug missing. Thought as it was like chewing gum, it might be stuck in my hair and I'd have to cut it out!
But all in all a great success... Hair still on my head, hoorah and got to work on time.. a little hoorah!
So I thought I would be brave and put my new official one and only ever, photo of me in tubes on the website!
Off to a Murder Mystery night tonight, so have a fab weekend
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 11 February 2010
I am a zombie
Bloody hell I feel like death warmed up... Ok I feel less out of breath, but when doing my morning ablutions I could have very easily fell asleep sitting up in the water with the bubbled shampoo still on my hair! And unfortunately the tiredness cancelled out the good feeling today... I should have been sensible and had booked the day off work, but being sensible has never come easily to me.
My oxygen machine didn't sound that loud in the day time when testing it, but in the dead of night it's a very different story. I had to cover up the light on the machine with my sock for starters as I love a dark room. Maybe I should have used a well worn one and then the smell may have knocked me out. The tops of my ears hurt from the nose specs, as when you lay on the tubes it rather pulls down the headset on your ears, so I could end up looking like Spock from my ears getting misshapen. You also have this fear niggling in the back of your head that you may strangle yourself or lay on the tubes and squash them, stopping the flow so then all the noise is in vain.
I got so tired at work come lunchtime, that I couldn't even write properly let alone drive home safely, so I had to have a 20mins sleep in one of the offices.
Tonight I am having a can of Pimms to hopefully lull me to sleep and to wear the earplugs that I brought on the way home... either way it ain't going to be a late night. Last night I didn't want to go to bed and tonight I want to skip dinner and climb in it... Wish me luck because I think I'm going to need it until I get the balance right. It will come I know. Just a matter of adjusting again, but hopefully soon as looking like a zombie isn't a good look!
Lots of love Debbie x
My oxygen machine didn't sound that loud in the day time when testing it, but in the dead of night it's a very different story. I had to cover up the light on the machine with my sock for starters as I love a dark room. Maybe I should have used a well worn one and then the smell may have knocked me out. The tops of my ears hurt from the nose specs, as when you lay on the tubes it rather pulls down the headset on your ears, so I could end up looking like Spock from my ears getting misshapen. You also have this fear niggling in the back of your head that you may strangle yourself or lay on the tubes and squash them, stopping the flow so then all the noise is in vain.
I got so tired at work come lunchtime, that I couldn't even write properly let alone drive home safely, so I had to have a 20mins sleep in one of the offices.
Tonight I am having a can of Pimms to hopefully lull me to sleep and to wear the earplugs that I brought on the way home... either way it ain't going to be a late night. Last night I didn't want to go to bed and tonight I want to skip dinner and climb in it... Wish me luck because I think I'm going to need it until I get the balance right. It will come I know. Just a matter of adjusting again, but hopefully soon as looking like a zombie isn't a good look!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 10 February 2010
O-Day is here!
I laid in bed last night relishing the peace and quiet of my bedroom. In my time I've lived on main roads and opposite a park which strangely enough was really quite noisy, but this is the first time I've had a perfectly peaceful bedroom and I love it.
Tonight it's all going to be different, because it's O-Day.
A really weird day, not just for me, but for the poor man who I had hired to clean my oven... which incidentally is costing me more than I paid for my second hand cooker in the first place, but the smoke was really making my eyes water when cooking a roast dinner.
Vera the oxygen nurse is totally off the wall and when the oven man walked through my living room, he didn't blink an eyelid to be greeted by Vera who was now smiling wildly, wearing her grand-daughter's knickers on her head and cutting my ear with a scalpel knife, I kid you not. The knickers she found in her pocket and wanted to see what reaction she got from him and when she's waving a scalpel around near my head, I ain't going to argue!
He did say after they went... 'They're a bit lively aren't they'... Understatement of the year me thinks!
They gave me the explanation talk of why I'm on it and the 'don't fiddle with the settings or my head will blow up' talk and then 'we'll see you next week if you haven't strangled yourself with the tubes'... And this little gem... Did you know that people actually buy the oxygen masks as sex aids... Hell I'm sitting on a goldmine?????
I wonder if my tubes might actually dangle me gently to the ground when I get too near the opposite side of my bed and fall out like I've done in the past?
So tomorrow I could go bouncing into work or crawl in like a zombie... Life is sooooooo exciting!
Lots of love Debbie x
Tonight it's all going to be different, because it's O-Day.
A really weird day, not just for me, but for the poor man who I had hired to clean my oven... which incidentally is costing me more than I paid for my second hand cooker in the first place, but the smoke was really making my eyes water when cooking a roast dinner.
Vera the oxygen nurse is totally off the wall and when the oven man walked through my living room, he didn't blink an eyelid to be greeted by Vera who was now smiling wildly, wearing her grand-daughter's knickers on her head and cutting my ear with a scalpel knife, I kid you not. The knickers she found in her pocket and wanted to see what reaction she got from him and when she's waving a scalpel around near my head, I ain't going to argue!
He did say after they went... 'They're a bit lively aren't they'... Understatement of the year me thinks!
They gave me the explanation talk of why I'm on it and the 'don't fiddle with the settings or my head will blow up' talk and then 'we'll see you next week if you haven't strangled yourself with the tubes'... And this little gem... Did you know that people actually buy the oxygen masks as sex aids... Hell I'm sitting on a goldmine?????
I wonder if my tubes might actually dangle me gently to the ground when I get too near the opposite side of my bed and fall out like I've done in the past?
So tomorrow I could go bouncing into work or crawl in like a zombie... Life is sooooooo exciting!
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 9 February 2010
Big day tomorrow
Got up early today because of the bad traffic yesterday and today I sailed through and arrived 20mins early for work... Grrrgh I could have 10mins extra in the bath!
No slow down at all at work and now we have been told there will be a mystery shopper coming into the centre. We've already had one and Sam and myself passed with flying colours, but now we have another coming in. Even though we are always helpful to all, the stress of smiling and being nice is beginning to get to me!
O-Day tomorrow and to be honest I'm quite nervous. I just want to get on and use the overnight oxygen now. I am tired I admit it. I try to pretend I'm bouncy, but these last two infections (one chest and one throat) has taken it out of me. My knees still hurt from falling over on the patio. My map of Africa on my knee has a swollen bit on it and it ain't Kilimanjaro! The inside of my nose is sore from the head cold and the thought of having nose specs on for 8hrs is not a pleasant thought. I had my physio this afternoon and after Hannah had gone I just laid down on the bed and slept for an hour! Still tomorrow is another day and by Thursday I could be running up the stairs and cartwheeling down the corridoor... yeah right and Prince Harry wants me for his bride!
Lots of love Debbie x
No slow down at all at work and now we have been told there will be a mystery shopper coming into the centre. We've already had one and Sam and myself passed with flying colours, but now we have another coming in. Even though we are always helpful to all, the stress of smiling and being nice is beginning to get to me!
O-Day tomorrow and to be honest I'm quite nervous. I just want to get on and use the overnight oxygen now. I am tired I admit it. I try to pretend I'm bouncy, but these last two infections (one chest and one throat) has taken it out of me. My knees still hurt from falling over on the patio. My map of Africa on my knee has a swollen bit on it and it ain't Kilimanjaro! The inside of my nose is sore from the head cold and the thought of having nose specs on for 8hrs is not a pleasant thought. I had my physio this afternoon and after Hannah had gone I just laid down on the bed and slept for an hour! Still tomorrow is another day and by Thursday I could be running up the stairs and cartwheeling down the corridoor... yeah right and Prince Harry wants me for his bride!
Lots of love Debbie x
Monday 8 February 2010
First day back at work...
I have survived... just.
It took me a hour to do a trip that normally takes me 30mins thanks to endless roadworks which were all down to our Uni being expanded. The traffic lights turned green, but there was still no movement, in fact the only vehicles on the road that were making progress was the police convoy escorting some bad boy to court and by the looks of the convoy, he must have been a real bad boy!
It was good to see all the ladies back at work, I do miss the banter and the bitching when I'm not there. After a few trips up and down the corridor it soon occurred to me that it was a lot longer than I remembered it and I wondered yet again if a pair of child's Heelies might be the answer to get me up and down it!
By lunchtime, I was knackered. My throat was beginning to twang again and I forgot just how much your brain hurts trying to remember everything. My knees were also hurting. I now have a bruise in the shape of a map of Africa on one knee and a smiley face on the other!
Hopefully after Wednesday I will be cartwheeling up and down the corridor thanks to my overnight oxygen. Wednesday is O-Day or D-Day when I get the talk on how to use the machine correctly... after all I'd hate to look like Violet Beauregarde out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with a gigantic swollen head... strewth it's only just gone down from the steroids!
Lots of love Debbie x
It took me a hour to do a trip that normally takes me 30mins thanks to endless roadworks which were all down to our Uni being expanded. The traffic lights turned green, but there was still no movement, in fact the only vehicles on the road that were making progress was the police convoy escorting some bad boy to court and by the looks of the convoy, he must have been a real bad boy!
It was good to see all the ladies back at work, I do miss the banter and the bitching when I'm not there. After a few trips up and down the corridor it soon occurred to me that it was a lot longer than I remembered it and I wondered yet again if a pair of child's Heelies might be the answer to get me up and down it!
By lunchtime, I was knackered. My throat was beginning to twang again and I forgot just how much your brain hurts trying to remember everything. My knees were also hurting. I now have a bruise in the shape of a map of Africa on one knee and a smiley face on the other!
Hopefully after Wednesday I will be cartwheeling up and down the corridor thanks to my overnight oxygen. Wednesday is O-Day or D-Day when I get the talk on how to use the machine correctly... after all I'd hate to look like Violet Beauregarde out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with a gigantic swollen head... strewth it's only just gone down from the steroids!
Lots of love Debbie x
Sunday 7 February 2010
ladies that lunch
Had my lovely friend down to stay for the weekend. I haven't seen her since her wedding in June, so it was really special to meet up again.
We lunched in a lovely country pub on the Saturday while we chatted and giggled about everything. I think if I was one of her animals in her veterinary clinic, she might be close to having me put down with my stats!
We shopped and brought beautiful things for our homes. I did have to drive like a maniac to the nearest supermarket to borrow their loo because of my IBS and then drive back again, only to find her deeply engrossed in candles! We laughed, ate and laughed some more at Oliver's and Reni's flat that night and entertained my mother on the Sunday.
Thank you Jim for letting me borrow her for the weekend. Thank you Jacky for being my lovely friend x
Can't wait to see you again soon.
Lots of love Debbie xx
We lunched in a lovely country pub on the Saturday while we chatted and giggled about everything. I think if I was one of her animals in her veterinary clinic, she might be close to having me put down with my stats!
We shopped and brought beautiful things for our homes. I did have to drive like a maniac to the nearest supermarket to borrow their loo because of my IBS and then drive back again, only to find her deeply engrossed in candles! We laughed, ate and laughed some more at Oliver's and Reni's flat that night and entertained my mother on the Sunday.
Thank you Jim for letting me borrow her for the weekend. Thank you Jacky for being my lovely friend x
Can't wait to see you again soon.
Lots of love Debbie xx
Friday 5 February 2010
karma bites you in the bum
I'm going to run the risk of upsetting all young mums today, but why is it that they have to have mother and baby parking spaces in supermarket car parks and if they are full why do they think they can nick our disabled parking spaces???
Blimey when my boys were small, one you would walk to the shops or two I'd go to town and back by bus with my two young boys complete with shopping bags on the handles of the buggy. So much so, when you bent down to pick up the child who was walking, the buggy would tip up with the weight of the shopping bags and your baby would be staring up at the sky! Unhurt before you ring up Childline! You would then get on the bus with one child under one arm, buggy under other the arm whilst holding hand of elder child and shopping and still manage to pay the driver.
Nowadays, the mums struggle out of their four by fours... well they are quite high off the ground aren't they and trot across in their designer heels and with their designer pushchairs while I struggle with my shopping and oxygen unit to my car somewhere in the car park because I couldn't get parked any nearer to the shop.
Ok I am a bitch... I know this as karma got me this afternoon for being mean to young mums... as I fell over.
I was out in the back garden filling a bin bag up with polystyrene shapes and a couple blew away. I went to grab them and one of my old lady slippers got caught in my trouser flare and I went down on my hands and knees with such a wallop that it frighten me and my friend Julie who luckily was with me. The sound of my knees hitting the concrete sounded like that garden Jenga game when it falls over... Shite my knees hurt... I'll never say to a child again 'Ups a daisy' when they fall over, because boy does it hurt.
By the time I got to the sofa, my knees had swollen up and the bruises were already beginning to shine black and blue. Julie went back into her nursing mode and made me put my legs up on the sofa before putting two ice cold flannels on my knees. I then got a fit of giggles... and believe me I will go to hell for this remark... As I laid there with my trousers rolled up, my pink hippo socks on and a big brown flannel on each knee, I rather resembled the plaster model of the little charity box girl that you used to see outside shops years ago, all I needed was a slot on the top of my head to put the money in! I know, I know... I am sick and I will go to hell... twice... once for being cruel to young mums and again if they let me out the first time for comparing myself to the model.
I promise I will be good in future and be PC... sorry.
Lots of love Debbie x
Blimey when my boys were small, one you would walk to the shops or two I'd go to town and back by bus with my two young boys complete with shopping bags on the handles of the buggy. So much so, when you bent down to pick up the child who was walking, the buggy would tip up with the weight of the shopping bags and your baby would be staring up at the sky! Unhurt before you ring up Childline! You would then get on the bus with one child under one arm, buggy under other the arm whilst holding hand of elder child and shopping and still manage to pay the driver.
Nowadays, the mums struggle out of their four by fours... well they are quite high off the ground aren't they and trot across in their designer heels and with their designer pushchairs while I struggle with my shopping and oxygen unit to my car somewhere in the car park because I couldn't get parked any nearer to the shop.
Ok I am a bitch... I know this as karma got me this afternoon for being mean to young mums... as I fell over.
I was out in the back garden filling a bin bag up with polystyrene shapes and a couple blew away. I went to grab them and one of my old lady slippers got caught in my trouser flare and I went down on my hands and knees with such a wallop that it frighten me and my friend Julie who luckily was with me. The sound of my knees hitting the concrete sounded like that garden Jenga game when it falls over... Shite my knees hurt... I'll never say to a child again 'Ups a daisy' when they fall over, because boy does it hurt.
By the time I got to the sofa, my knees had swollen up and the bruises were already beginning to shine black and blue. Julie went back into her nursing mode and made me put my legs up on the sofa before putting two ice cold flannels on my knees. I then got a fit of giggles... and believe me I will go to hell for this remark... As I laid there with my trousers rolled up, my pink hippo socks on and a big brown flannel on each knee, I rather resembled the plaster model of the little charity box girl that you used to see outside shops years ago, all I needed was a slot on the top of my head to put the money in! I know, I know... I am sick and I will go to hell... twice... once for being cruel to young mums and again if they let me out the first time for comparing myself to the model.
I promise I will be good in future and be PC... sorry.
Lots of love Debbie x
Thursday 4 February 2010
It has arrived
It is here, the Machine from Hell has arrived... I even got up early to be ready for it and I'm officially on sick leave.
Actually the young chap who delivered it was a absolute sweetie and made a difficult time really easy. We sat and chatted first of all. I guess the dragging of the feet and the 'Kevin the teenager' stance gave away the fact that I wasn't happy one iota about having the damn thing. But he pointed out that having the machine was a tad better than having a stroke or a heart attack etc, but not in a condescending way at all, just a matter of fact way. I think the fact that this Jack the Lad who was young enough to be my son, actually made me see what all the medical staff had been trying to get in my thicker than normal head for ages.
When he brought it in he was all smiles... it was half the size of what I thought it was going to be and it was blue and as he quite rightly pointed out... it matched my bedroom! It wasn't actually the Machine from Hell at all, but hey the devil does come in all disguises!
Apparently this is a new machine on trial at the moment and is half the size, quieter and doesn't get so hot when it's running. It fitted in between my bedside cabinet and the wall and you would have to look hard to see what it was, as it's the size of a suitcase. It is still noisy, a bit louder than an air con machine when on holiday, but I lived on a busy main road for years and managed to sleep with the windows wide open with no trouble.
That young man deserves a medal, because he made me smile and feel that the disguised Machine from Hell it wasn't all that bad...
But I did get the impression that he thought I was in the same age bracket as his gran! He taught me another lesson too... no more draining all black clothes and back to always making sure I have my make-up on when answering the door!
Anyway a big thank you Lee... you are my hero!
Lots of love Debbie x
Actually the young chap who delivered it was a absolute sweetie and made a difficult time really easy. We sat and chatted first of all. I guess the dragging of the feet and the 'Kevin the teenager' stance gave away the fact that I wasn't happy one iota about having the damn thing. But he pointed out that having the machine was a tad better than having a stroke or a heart attack etc, but not in a condescending way at all, just a matter of fact way. I think the fact that this Jack the Lad who was young enough to be my son, actually made me see what all the medical staff had been trying to get in my thicker than normal head for ages.
When he brought it in he was all smiles... it was half the size of what I thought it was going to be and it was blue and as he quite rightly pointed out... it matched my bedroom! It wasn't actually the Machine from Hell at all, but hey the devil does come in all disguises!
Apparently this is a new machine on trial at the moment and is half the size, quieter and doesn't get so hot when it's running. It fitted in between my bedside cabinet and the wall and you would have to look hard to see what it was, as it's the size of a suitcase. It is still noisy, a bit louder than an air con machine when on holiday, but I lived on a busy main road for years and managed to sleep with the windows wide open with no trouble.
That young man deserves a medal, because he made me smile and feel that the disguised Machine from Hell it wasn't all that bad...
But I did get the impression that he thought I was in the same age bracket as his gran! He taught me another lesson too... no more draining all black clothes and back to always making sure I have my make-up on when answering the door!
Anyway a big thank you Lee... you are my hero!
Lots of love Debbie x
Wednesday 3 February 2010
30 pieces of silver or 4 DVDs
Had the rug pulled from under my feet today... I have to go on overnight oxygen after all.
I was just getting dressed when the phone went and it was the oxygen clinic. My oxygen levels now drop too low through the night to ignore. It took two phone calls to finally sink in what was happening as I just couldn't take everything in on the first one.
In between the two calls, the oxygen company rang to say they would deliver the machine from hell tomorrow!
It seems my normal everyday stats level is 88% at the moment. For those of you that don't know whether that is good or bad, if you watch ER or Holby City, when the patients stats are 90% they rush around panicking almost with blue lights on their heads and clamp masks over the patients faces!
Apparently my levels drop below 85%, so no that's not good. The plan is that I have overnight oxygen and I'll feel better through out the day. That's their plan.
My plan was to try a desperate 'Well I have a cold at the moment, wouldn't that have affected the readings?' To a begging 'My stats are always low in winter. They were last year but they picked up didn't they?' To an angry 'This doctor hasn't even met me, how can he judge me!'
But at the end of the day I know they are right, but just everything changes yet again and at great speed, far too fast to get my head round.
While this conversation was going on, the postlady put my DVDs through my letter box. My DVDs that I used my 'thank you Amazon voucher' on from when I did my talk at the uni. The talk when I admitted that I was having bad headaches when waking up every morning and had been for ages. Talk about DVDs feeling like 30 pieces of silver... they were Gavin and Stacy DVDs too, how will I be able to watch them again without hurtling something at the TV?! I know it wasn't the talks fault, but why did I open my big mouth?????
To cheer myself up I thought I'd pop down to the shops and get a magazine, only to find my car covered in birds crap. My car mirrored how I felt... shat on from a great height! I just stood there in tears doing my best Frank Gallagher in the middle of the cul de sac... I can see my ASBO in the post!
Such is life...
Lots of love Debbie x
I was just getting dressed when the phone went and it was the oxygen clinic. My oxygen levels now drop too low through the night to ignore. It took two phone calls to finally sink in what was happening as I just couldn't take everything in on the first one.
In between the two calls, the oxygen company rang to say they would deliver the machine from hell tomorrow!
It seems my normal everyday stats level is 88% at the moment. For those of you that don't know whether that is good or bad, if you watch ER or Holby City, when the patients stats are 90% they rush around panicking almost with blue lights on their heads and clamp masks over the patients faces!
Apparently my levels drop below 85%, so no that's not good. The plan is that I have overnight oxygen and I'll feel better through out the day. That's their plan.
My plan was to try a desperate 'Well I have a cold at the moment, wouldn't that have affected the readings?' To a begging 'My stats are always low in winter. They were last year but they picked up didn't they?' To an angry 'This doctor hasn't even met me, how can he judge me!'
But at the end of the day I know they are right, but just everything changes yet again and at great speed, far too fast to get my head round.
While this conversation was going on, the postlady put my DVDs through my letter box. My DVDs that I used my 'thank you Amazon voucher' on from when I did my talk at the uni. The talk when I admitted that I was having bad headaches when waking up every morning and had been for ages. Talk about DVDs feeling like 30 pieces of silver... they were Gavin and Stacy DVDs too, how will I be able to watch them again without hurtling something at the TV?! I know it wasn't the talks fault, but why did I open my big mouth?????
To cheer myself up I thought I'd pop down to the shops and get a magazine, only to find my car covered in birds crap. My car mirrored how I felt... shat on from a great height! I just stood there in tears doing my best Frank Gallagher in the middle of the cul de sac... I can see my ASBO in the post!
Such is life...
Lots of love Debbie x
Tuesday 2 February 2010
Sleeping sickness
I have slept so much today that I'm beginning to wonder if someone slipped a micky flynn in my camomile tea last night!
I can't believe just how much you can sleep when feeling under the weather, although daytime TV can hypnotize you into a stupor that I have learnt. No wonder my poor 92 year old mother thinks she's losing the plot!
But on a worrying note if you rack up the amount of hours you spend immobile when you are ill, the waste of time is very scary. Over the last couple of years I have wasted so much time not having energy and feeling like an old lady when I've been off work sick. When people say I do too much when I am well, it's because of me turning into a sofa hugger when ill and not wanting to waste a minute of my precious life when I do have the energy. Although I have learnt to take it slow too now... at long last I think I have learnt balance.
I hope to be back at work Thursday, although I may still sound like I should be dressed in stockings and a basque when answering the phone!
Also on a bright note, my physio called to ask if I was on oxygen when I did my overnight stats test.. does this mean that they came out relatively high so no need for overnight oxygen? Oh please guardian angels I hope so, fingers crossed hey!
lots of love Debbie x
I can't believe just how much you can sleep when feeling under the weather, although daytime TV can hypnotize you into a stupor that I have learnt. No wonder my poor 92 year old mother thinks she's losing the plot!
But on a worrying note if you rack up the amount of hours you spend immobile when you are ill, the waste of time is very scary. Over the last couple of years I have wasted so much time not having energy and feeling like an old lady when I've been off work sick. When people say I do too much when I am well, it's because of me turning into a sofa hugger when ill and not wanting to waste a minute of my precious life when I do have the energy. Although I have learnt to take it slow too now... at long last I think I have learnt balance.
I hope to be back at work Thursday, although I may still sound like I should be dressed in stockings and a basque when answering the phone!
Also on a bright note, my physio called to ask if I was on oxygen when I did my overnight stats test.. does this mean that they came out relatively high so no need for overnight oxygen? Oh please guardian angels I hope so, fingers crossed hey!
lots of love Debbie x
Monday 1 February 2010
Hot toddys
I feel yuk... I think that is the official term for it.
My head throbs, my body feels like I've been put through a mangle and my throat is so sore and raspy that I sound like an 0900 number!
I'm hungry in the fact I want strong tasting food and if I knew what a hot toddy was, I'm sure one of those would be wonderful.
So back to sleep.
lots of love Debbie x
My head throbs, my body feels like I've been put through a mangle and my throat is so sore and raspy that I sound like an 0900 number!
I'm hungry in the fact I want strong tasting food and if I knew what a hot toddy was, I'm sure one of those would be wonderful.
So back to sleep.
lots of love Debbie x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)