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I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

30 pieces of silver or 4 DVDs

Had the rug pulled from under my feet today... I have to go on overnight oxygen after all.

I was just getting dressed when the phone went and it was the oxygen clinic. My oxygen levels now drop too low through the night to ignore. It took two phone calls to finally sink in what was happening as I just couldn't take everything in on the first one.
In between the two calls, the oxygen company rang to say they would deliver the machine from hell tomorrow!

It seems my normal everyday stats level is 88% at the moment. For those of you that don't know whether that is good or bad, if you watch ER or Holby City, when the patients stats are 90% they rush around panicking almost with blue lights on their heads and clamp masks over the patients faces!
Apparently my levels drop below 85%, so no that's not good. The plan is that I have overnight oxygen and I'll feel better through out the day. That's their plan.
My plan was to try a desperate 'Well I have a cold at the moment, wouldn't that have affected the readings?' To a begging 'My stats are always low in winter. They were last year but they picked up didn't they?' To an angry 'This doctor hasn't even met me, how can he judge me!'
But at the end of the day I know they are right, but just everything changes yet again and at great speed, far too fast to get my head round.

While this conversation was going on, the postlady put my DVDs through my letter box. My DVDs that I used my 'thank you Amazon voucher' on from when I did my talk at the uni. The talk when I admitted that I was having bad headaches when waking up every morning and had been for ages. Talk about DVDs feeling like 30 pieces of silver... they were Gavin and Stacy DVDs too, how will I be able to watch them again without hurtling something at the TV?! I know it wasn't the talks fault, but why did I open my big mouth?????

To cheer myself up I thought I'd pop down to the shops and get a magazine, only to find my car covered in birds crap. My car mirrored how I felt... shat on from a great height! I just stood there in tears doing my best Frank Gallagher in the middle of the cul de sac... I can see my ASBO in the post!
Such is life...

Lots of love Debbie x

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