Why is it there is always a spanner ready to be thrown in the works? Just when you are feeling content, something has to come along and whip the rug from under your feet. Today it was I felt yuk.
Now I know I have an end stage lung disease and I am waiting for the ok to go ahead for a transplant, but I actually do feel pretty content with my life weirdly enough, but I woke up this morning and felt really grim.
My blood pressure was low again today and my stats weren't wonderful, but it was more a kind of tiredness that had settled on me which could have gone either way today... back to bed after a call for help or try and work through it. I've been told that I mustn't hide away or give up, but I am so bloody tired.
I've been in hospital when feeling healthier than this and I know I have got tougher, but hell I know when I feel tired and today is it. I looked really shite too and I know it sounds proper girlie to say this, but my hair looked a state and for me an ex hairdresser, that is a good sign that something isn't correct in my body. But the actor in me says the Debbie Burden is a jolly good fellow road show must go on.
Ruth said yesterday that there was a culture in my sputum that they couldn't get a reading on and as Sadie is normally spot on recognising when I'm not right, I've got to do another sample today.
Mother who happily told my sister yesterday that we were going out again today, decided after I had put my actors head on and while sitting eating lunch that I didn't really want, that she shouldn't have come out as she didn't feel right and wasn't hungry. Handy mother, wish you had decided that earlier.
Afterwards I tried to do a sample as we were driving to the hospital and managed just to vomit instead into the specimen jar thanks to trying so close to eating... yuk! Have to try again tomorrow now.
Still Derek cheered mother up with his amazing job on her kitchen and it was good to see her smile again, as a chance of a smile looked a million miles away from her earlier today.
Perhaps there is a 'yuk' bug going around and perhaps we've both got it and today it will pass and tomorrow we will wake up back as happy rejects?
I hope so.
Lots of love Debbie x
About Me
- Me...Debbie Burden... or known as Burders
- I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!
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