Oh give me a door frame quick..

Today is a day when I could really do with a man around the house. There are times in my life when I do need someone; for chasing spiders when they are too fast or too big for me to handle. Or doing up awkward zips on the back of tight dresses or in this case, rubbing on after sun or a rich moisturiser onto my back to keep my sun tan.
Try as I may and I am still quite flexible believe it or not; yoga and tai chi have paid off after all, I just can't reach all of my back and it is at that itchy stage so when I see a wall, I have to scratch my back along it like Balou Bear from Jungle Book with a self satisfying groan coming from deep inside me!

I know I have a big belly, there is no escaping that. Apparently because I don't breathe properly, my tummy is distended, well that and the fact I probably eat too many good things. But I can remember when I was slimmer that I could lay on my front and my back would get brown, then I'd turn over and my tummy would get brown and the sides would blend in together lovely. Now I can't lay flat on either my back or my front without sounding like a gurgling drain and where my waist band has expanded, I need to be put on a spit and regularly turned so I brown all over! Plus women of my age get white semi circles under their boobs and unfortunately it's not from the size of the bust, but from where our tummys are pushed up under our busts especially when reading on a sun bed... you normally have your knees up yeah?!

So I look like a patchwork quilt in various shades of brown, pink and white and now I have gone flakey where my bikini strap was on my back. Great, I am a picture of beauty. I could be lizard woman in the next Xmen movie!
Still what is brown is a gorgeous colour brown and however unhealthy a tan is, I look a picture of health so you can't have it all ways I'm afraid.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find a wall to rub against.

Lots of love Debbie x