Some Sunday's you win, some you don't

Brrrr woke up this morning and I think I must have slept through Autumn and gone straight to Winter, as it's cold, wet and horrible out there.
Tim came round before the rain really came down and gave my grass a trim for me. We sat afterwards, had coffee and talked about our children's lives. It's good that we can still be good friends, but I do miss his wisdom and it is sad that he is the only man that I have ever been myself with. Just a shame that he was fighting so many demons all the time and I had such a yearning to see and experience life and got restless.

I took mother out for lunch after she staggered over to mine 45mins earlier than we were due to go out, even though it was agreed yesterday that I would walk over and fetch her. Stagger is no word of a lie as her knees were very painful. This was the first outing on them in over two weeks and of course they were stiff and painful. She had muddled up the times again thinking that I had forgotten her. She was is in a grotty mood, complaining about my oxygen tubes on the floor and saying how she had lived too long, that she didn't have long left, so that then launched me into a moody too, so this didn't bode well for a jolly lunch!
The lunch started well, but then rapidly went down hill as I gave her a serviette to wipe the dressing off her fingers so it didn't go over her white jacket and she thought I was nagging her. Bad move on my part. Then she couldn't make up her mind what roast she wanted, so our plates were swapped backwards and forwards as she tried both the pork and the beef. She then decided we should have half of each others. Ok I could live with that, but then she couldn't make up her mind about the dessert so we had liqueur coffee instead. I thought it might mellow her on top of the brandy she had already drunk. Nah... It was turning into one of those lunches.
She looked like she wanted to sleep as she was tired after a bad nights sleep last night and got very snappy when I said to let go of the bill money that she was grasping onto it, so she could lever herself up to stand so I could help her get her coat on. That turned into world war three so perhaps getting her slighty, well not merry... wasn't such a good idea! It was rather like taking a naughty child out.
But going home, she smiled and said it was a lovely lunch and thank you for taking her out. All worth it.
By this time though I was shattered, but pleased that she had actually enjoyed it and glad that her memory is so bad now, that she couldn't remember me snarling at her to behave in the restaurant.
Having her hanging on to me while carrying my oxygen unit too, the jumping in and out of the car to get her more food shopping... she always needs something from the shops, but never eats it... all this does take it out of me and I don't think she still understands why I wear my oxygen.
But she is my mother and I love her and maybe next Sunday it will be a good day.

Lots of love Debbie x