About Me

My photo
I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Pass the headache pills please

Blimey I went home with a stomper of a headache today. The heat in the office was quite sickly where it was so hot and I had to throw open all the windows, which seemed such a waste of money, but with students sniffing and staff coughing, I needed fresh air around me.
It quickly became apparent that the romantic notion of me sorting out my desk and computer in a nice leisurely fashion, was not going to happen. I was soon having a steady flow of students coming in and Sam was at the course that I had got out of thanks to my impending retirement.
Then the boss wanted to buy me coffee. Cool I'm always up for a freebie especially as I will be stony broke soon enough.
Next distraction wasn't so pleasant as my new line manager then wanted to give me a pep talk about making sure everything is in order before I go... duh I'm trying. And then she said a very strange thing, that she was having to cook the books with HR because of my part-time hours... Mmm I honestly don't think that this lady understands the Disability Act... I ain't making up the rules, the Occupational Health doctor is and his word is the one you obey and I am doing what he says.
Went to hospital for my physio a little a bit miffed yet again thanks to her with headache getting worse. To make matters worse, the fact I tripped on a kerb in the car park, lost my shoe and stepped in a freezing puddle with my stocking foot, didn't help my temper or my headache. Nor did the physio, as that rattles every part of you.

I thought I'd pop in for a much deserved cuppa at my friends and found myself telling her how angry I was with my brother for not coming round to see my mother since before July or maybe June.
I was angry with myself for moaning to her about him, as I don't see her much and when I do, I always tend to end up moaning about something. Some friend I am. But I then felt angry with her for telling me not to say anything I'd regret to him. I kept quiet, but please, why would I care about his feelings, when I see my 93 year old mother crying because she feels her son has forsaken her and doesn't love her? Or see her in pain when she's dragged out her recycling, doesn't he wonder who puts it out, because it's either his old mother who is major wobbley on her legs or me who is on oxygen.
Bit of a nightmare today, hopefully everything will be better in the morning.

Lots of love Debbie x

No comments:

Post a Comment