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I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!

Monday, 10 January 2011

The bells toll

I took the bull by the horns today and contacted the Human Resources department at my work to ask if there is any news on when I should expect my P45 as I only have 15 days left of full pay and I really want this sorted. I was expecting delays, but six weeks has turned into three months now and although it is lovely to plod on as I am, all good things have to come to a halt sometime and I can hear the bells tolling for the demise of my wages.
Even though you know that day is well overdue, when you actually hear a date for the end of your service in work, even though you have pushed them on the phone to find something out, it leaves you feeling quite numb.
Wednesday 26th January 2011 will be my last day of full time or even part time paid work. I will then become one of the great unwashed or one of those who lives off of other people... what I used to be, the Brtish tax payer. God that stinks.
I have always worked and have been in a great range of employment in the past to help pay the bills as my ex's job was not the best paid position in the world. From a hairdresser to potato grader (that job lasted a whole afternoon!) from a florist to a Tudor Goodwife, I have always worked and had enjoyed every single job apart from being a potato grader, that has got to be the worst job ever.
Believe it or not, I am not a snob as I have scrubbed toilets in factories, carried sacks of potatoes on my shoulder (no that was another potato linked job), cleaned other peoples homes and cared for other peoples elders in a care home.
If it meant feeding my children then I did it, but now on the news tonight, they report how the Conservatives are going to cut my benefits and I haven't even applied for them yet!
Oh happy bloody days.
I am scared, I am scared that I will never be able to treat myself or my friends and family ever again and will have to think twice, maybe thrice before agreeing to do anything with my friends. Ah well if I've said it before, I'll say it again... shit happens, deal with it!

Lots of love Debbie x

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