The Camel Effect

I've heard of the butterfly effect: you know the theory a butterfly flapping it's wings in Mexico and it's knock on effect etc . Well I think mine should be called the camel effect.
Let me explain and bear with me.
When I was at work I drank numerous bottles of water each day, as I got very dry thanks to talking non stop throughout the day on the phone or face to face to students and as we know, drinking water also helps you clear your chest a lot easier, as it stops the phlegm becoming sticky.
I hadn't realised at first that I had stopped drinking as much water once I had stopped working, but I did notice that it was a lot harder to clear my chest and very exhausting. Elementary Dr Burden, I quickly put two and two together that I wasn't talking as much so I wasn't getting as dry and my water intake had gone down. Gosh I should be a doctor!
Anyway I solved that problem by upping my water intake and the phlegm is now coming away a lot easier again.
This is where my 'Camel Effect' kicks in.
Now as you know I had run out of liquid oxygen on Monday and was having to lug around my DD canister which is very heavy and which restricts movement and also it has a long oxygen lead or tube. Keep with me as this is all going somewhere.
I went off to Maldon today for my physio at the hospital there and was very pleased that everything was moving off my chest and quite quickly again.
Maldon is about a 30min drive from home and as I also have a lovely, but demanding mother that thinks I am her personal shopper at times, I had to stop at the hole in the wall on the way home to get some money out for her.
Ooo I thought as I pressed the buttons, I need a wee. No problem, only about 5mins away from home. But as I was trying to get out of my car quickly outside my bungalow, my long lead decided to get caught around the passenger seat lever, in frustration I yanked it and the lead came out, but from where I couldn't tell in the dark.
Now I don't know about you, but when I can see my front door, my bladder gets very excited. So it was a case of a dangling oxygen lead, a bladder fit to burst and a semi dash to door as I decided that as my chest was clear, I could make it oxygen or no oxygen. Of course I hadn't put into the equation that I would pull my bloody mother's keys out of my handbag instead of mine.
This is where your handbag resembles a Mary Poppin type bag, where it seems bottomless and you still try and ram the key in the keyhole.
In blind panic, while hopping from foot to foot with my knees pressed together, I threw the contents of my bag on the floor and to get my keys, then realised I couldn't leave the contents especially my purse on the floor outside with my mother's £200 in it. All the time I was still dancing about picking things up and I was rapidly running out of breath.
I can hold it, my wee not my breath... Wrong... I could have if I hadn't shut the dangling lead in the front door and nearly yanking off my nose as it stopped me violently in my tracks a foot from the toilet.
I was close to getting my jeans down in mid dash, but whoosh!
End result was me sitting on the toilet with soaked jeans and knickers, although I did manage to get them nearly to my knees, but I was now gasping for breath so badly, that I felt I was going to pass out. In my brain (which was pounding) I was praying that I wouldn't die with wet knickers and wet jeans around my ankles. God can you imagine the shame, if I wasn't already dead, I would have died with embarrassment to be found like that.
So please when you say to me that I am so lucky not to be working, don't wonder why I try and strangle you with my oxygen tube... I think a judge would let me off!

Lots of love Debbie x