One step closer

Tonight was the first time since last Friday night that I have actually felt well again. What an odd feeling.
I couldn't keep awake most of the day and even fell asleep between courses at dinner, which Greta kindly cooked for me. But tonight I wanted to get up and do things.
I'm still tired and find it hard to keep awake for any period of time, my skin is itching and my neck still hurts, but at least there is light at the end of the tunnel for the first time in a very long week.

I do feel horrendously guilty that I can't see mother and had hoped that she would come over for dinner, but alas in the end she wasn't feeling up to it, even with my friends saying that they would push her over. She is in a lot of pain with the cyst on her back and hasn't slept properly for the last couple of nights, but I know she is petrified of going to the clinic tomorrow to have it cut out, as her voice broke when talking to me on the phone tonight.
I hope they will be able to perform the op tomorrow, as my sister says it is very red again.
She must feel so alone.
Mother also rang me in a fit of panic late tonight as she couldn't get her door to open from the inside. It has a habit of doing this and normally I would just walk over and open it from outside with my key and it would be fine, but I wouldn't even make it down the garden path at the moment and my walker is in my car.
I am now worrying in case there is a fire and she can't get out. I know she has a back door, but I feel as if I have let her down.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for both of us.

Lots of love Debbie x