Games, rules and false smiles

It's amazing how we bounce back. Monday I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under my feet and today it's just another day. I'm not saying that I've brushed it away and come out smiling, but I have sat, taken note, rethought things and then come out smiling, although be it a false smile most of the time.

It was said today by a friend about her misfortune in a completely different situation, that she felt like she was playing in a game, but no one had explained the rules to her. I can see where she is coming from and I am now becoming a fast learner. Firstly I need to get pen to paper which was another friends advice and write to my specialist. I've got to play dumb by asking was there any news about the transplant that we had been talking about? To point out I felt my holidays weren't the relaxing success that I had hoped for, but proved to be quite debilitating as not only was I ill since coming back, but I am definitely slowing down more so since my return. Neither are lies, but he sees me for 20mins every six months and I stupidly try to make myself look like I'm not a whiner when I go for my appointment.

The 2nd part of the plan has taken shape without me even trying. That was to visit my local GP, but strangely enough, she phoned and was quite insistent that I went to see her first call was next week and then the 2nd call she fitting me in tomorrow. That's a bit worrying!

We went out last night for a meal at a rather posh restaurant in Writtle. Poshing up in a nice outfit and wearing a dab of perfume does great things to a flagging spirit. Fab was ok, but the company was great fun. Slept well last night.

Well we will see what the doctor wants tomorrow. Off to bed now

Lots of love Debbie x