Winds of change

Whoa hoo... you can't see me, but I am doing a victory dance here, as I've lost 2 and 1/2 lbs!
I was so convinced that I would have just lost a stingy lb, but no, I am on my way to being a goddess again! Ok not quite a goddess, but less of a heavy weight wrestler than I am at the moment.

I'm pleased that I have something to celebrate, as I was lurking and hiding behind my mother's hedge again early this morning in my pjs again, as she had left all her lights on. As I couldn't see her in the arm chair and as her bedroom light was on as well as the front room and the hallway lights, I just had to pray to God that she wasn't on the floor somewhere and safely in her bed.
I had decided to have an early night, but that was scarpered as I couldn't sleep until all her lights went off about 1am and then I couldn't settle for worrying about her.
What if she if only agreeing about going in a home because she thinks that's want we want and feels defeated?

Mother has been through so much in her life. She has witnessed so many changes when growing up as she was born in 1918, so if todays youth think they have it hard... speak to my mother, because she's one brave lady!
Her elder sister died of TB when she was only a child herself and then her mother followed shortly after, leaving my mother to live with her mother's sister her aunt, who was a million miles away from the beautiful music hall singer who was my grandmother. Her aunt was very kind, but she was a female wrestler and quite a scary lady to look at!
But my mother adored her, my uncle Frank and all her cousins and there was a lot of them, it was a happy loud but poor household!
Mother then married an abusive man, which she left after one betrayel too many and brought up their three children on her own, until she meet my dad and then they married and had little old me.
We were all problematical in one way or another and I was a sickly child that worried my mother half to death.
I owe my mother a lot.

So back to now.
It was up again early to book a doctors home visit for her, rather than having to make her walk to the car etc. and yes it is a chest infection.
Bingo I was right.
She did seem to pick up and then late afternoon/ early evening, while I was at rehab, she really went down hill again. I personally think she was low from talking about the move into residential care to my brother, even though she now thinks it's for the best and I think it may do her a lot of good being with other people, as she gets so lonely in the daytime.
But she knows it's the beginning of her last chapter of her life and that is so hard for anyone to come to terms with, me included.
Luckily I had her tablets from the doctors and helped her take them before dashing down to the slimming club to be weighed.
Thankfully whatever is in them has perked her up and she was a lot better again when I returned from the tubby club.
We sat and chatted over a cup of tea about my weight loss and how I had worked hard at rehab, trying hard to up my game to get fit for this transplant.
As I was leaving, I decided 'sod the germs' and gave my mother a much needed huge cuddle, for me and for her.
So many changes on the way, for me and for mother.

Lots of love Debbie x