Pineapple anyone?

Do I never learn I ask? What has happened this time I hear you ask?
I have just eaten a whole pineapple. Only a small one granted and after I had prepared it, there was enough for a large dessert bowl, but I still shouldn't have eaten the lot in one sitting. But I do love fresh pineapple.

The last time I did a stupid move like that, was the meal before I gave birth to Oliver. Even though I tried to convince the midwife at the hospital not to give me an enema (for modern mothers who no longer have this, it's where they shove about a gallon of soapy water up your bum!), but she still insisted and the result was chaos.
I was squeezing my bottoms cheeks so hard to get to the toilet and even though I thought I had finished and got into the much needed shower, I started again and pebble dashed the shower with poo!
Not my greatest moment I grant you. In between pushing Oliver out, I was apologising about the shower to the midwife and anyone that would listen to my apologises of woe.

Tonight started with my tongue, that felt like it had been dipped in sherbet for hours and then the rumbling griping tummy started...and of course this time my friend in Saudi called just as I was about to make my way in a leisurely fashion to the toilet.
It ended in a mad rush with me interrupting him by shouting 'I need the loo, now!'...and the mad rush was not helped when oxygen leads are trying to trip you up by getting caught round your ankles or just getting stuck under the bathroom door for the pure hell of it.
I made it...just.

The good news of the day is...my car is back...hoorah!
And no, I didn't cover the driver in masses of kisses, as the driver turned out to be a very stern and 'no messing with me' looking lady. I could have sworn it was a man's voice on the phone when she advised me that she was on her way.
The car looks beautiful, so shiny and sleek looking. Nice new wheels on the back and no scratches at all on one side or on the back of the car. She looked at me as if I was crazy when I shouted 'Oh welcome home baby, mumma's missed you!'
After I had done my quota on the oxygen concentrator, I took my baby for a spin to the shops, but horror of horrors, the key wouldn't come out when I parked it. I tried for ages and the woman waiting at the bus stop opposite, was looking at me very suspiciously and if she hadn't of seen me pull up in it, she must had thought that I was trying to steal it.
I decided to drive off home as I was convinced that the garage must have done something to the ignition and I would phone them from home. When I got home however, I realised my error which was, in the courtesy car you put the gear stick in the middle of the gear box which is neutral ,which was what I was trying to do in this one forgetting that I had a parking gear on my car which is at the top and the key won't come out unless in park..durrr!
Only three weeks and I've forgotten how to drive my car....

Lots of love Debbie x