I am a champion bitch today, well not all day, but for quite a large part of it.
Things kind of went wrong when I woke up in the morning with my nose specs aimed into my eyes and not up my nose, so God only knows how long I'd been without my proper oxygen supply. Judging by my low stats and the fact I needed jump leads to get me going this morning, I would say for quite a while.
I had promised mother to take her out to the local garden centre to buy the top that she had wished all weekend that she had brought last week. Yes I know that sounds a little odd buying clothes at a garden centre, especially as mother isn't into the wellie boots or waterproof look, but this is one of the big clothes retailers that have a franchise there and it's darn sight easier to go there then into town.
Bless her, she couldn't actually remember which top it was that she wanted when we got there and she ended up buying three tops in the end, but she still kept moaning to the shop assistant of how it was my fault that she didn't buy the top she really wanted, last week.
Strangely enough it wasn't that false accusation that made me snap at her, but hearing the same story for the sixth time this week and it's only Tuesday, about how my brother and sisters don't care enough about her and especially with her being 93.
It just pushed the wrong buttons today.
Yes it does annoy me that it is always me that takes her everywhere and everyday I am there for her to prepare her meals, to put out her recycling etc, but this bitter woe is me thing just got to me today and I snapped at her to try and think about the nice things that they do for her instead of always moaning.
That went down well!
I am fully aware that she moans about me to them too, I guess she just likes moaning about us and about things in general, an age thing maybe?
My next bitch moment came when my elder sister phoned me to tell me how mother was doing her head in, because she phones her everyday asking things... so?! My sister called me yesterday to tell me this too... God my sister is a mini me of my mother.
I stood trying to watch Gok through the crack in my hallway door, while she went on and on about she couldn't cope. She did ask if I was alright when I wasn't agreeing with her at the right times and eventually she gave up as she sensed I was not my normal agreeable little sister self.
Third bitch moment came when I ignored my ex-boyfriend's call and text. I know he is lonely in Saudi, but 'hello' didn't he leave me to live with someone else over three years ago now and as far as I know is still with her, so let him ring her and let me watch 'Shameless' in peace and quiet.
Men hey!
So... am I a total bitch today or is there any part of me that can be redeemed? I really don't know and I really don't care today, as I have far bigger things on my mind and it's all a bit foggy in there. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully an easier one.
Lots of love Debbie x
About Me
- Me...Debbie Burden... or known as Burders
- I'll be 55 this August... I've had bronchiectasis for ten years plus this year... End stage lung disease for the past year...been on oxygen for three years... and have I got used to it yet?... nah! I am now waiting for the biggie; a double lung and maybe a heart transplant. I love my life weirdly enough, because I have some wonderful family and friends who are with me every step of the way on my adventures, even though I embarrass them on a daily basis with my unorthodox way of looking at life. Not for the faint hearted!
Hi Debbie
ReplyDeleteJust caught up with your last few posts..
Elderly parents can be trying at the best of times, particularly when you're the little sister bearing the brunt of it as I am too! Sometimes I have a lovely day with my Dad and other times, I swear he winds me up so much cos he has to go on and on about the same old things that really don't matter in the end.
You keep strong and fighting fit and yes, do tell everyone with the slightest hint of a cold to stay away as they should understand your lungs have enough problems, and if you feel like bitching, go ahead and get it out of your system.
Good luck with the next appointment, you can pull out at any stage, just ask every question you can think of about it all and don't make any quick decisions.
Hugs, L xx