Meet Ms Bossy

I needed to swim today. Strange how something that I started only three weeks ago has had such a big impression on me.
I pushed myself even harder today and managed 14 lengths. Weirdly enough, I couldn't do that many when I was fit!
I have always loved the water. Be it rough on a stormy day at Walton on the Naze or all sparkly in the sunshine as in the sea at Oludeniz.
Maybe a silent and majestic loch in Scotland or a little ice cold fast running river in a field to dabble your feet in. I have never been a great swimmer, but water has a real hold for me. Probably why I love my picnics at Maldon so much.
Even when they sprinkled my father's ashes at sea as we watched from the quay at Hastings, it felt right and proper, not sad as he was going home.
I've always used it as my passage to calmness, using it to be able to zone out of scary places or situations and it works a charm.
Today though, I really needed to relax and clear my buzzing head.

Yesterday, my impression of an old fashioned magician pulling a string of coloured flags out of my throat rather than a top hat in the disabled toilet at Broomfield hospital, was a huge surreal moment!
Strangely enough, my heartburn has come back with a vengance tonight, so I wonder if I had it when I had the sensor down my throat, but it was masked by the discomfort?
And then finding out that I could have lost a best friend through a heart attack, really hit home first thing this morning.
I am used to my disease that has crept up on me and stole parts of me over the years, but my hustling bustling friend could have been... poof gone, just like that, all because she didn't want to make a fuss.
I have realised that perhaps my friends don't take as much care of themselves as they should do and that they think that I am a nag.
Some smoke and some ignore the warning signs such as high blood pressure, or pushing themselves to hard, or forgetting to exercise or to eat properly. Perhaps everyone needs a little scare to make them realise just how fragile life really is, but not like ending up in hospital, maybe just a bolt of lightening with a big wagging finger at them?
I realised yesterday that I could lose a friend so suddenly as we are all coming to that dodgy age! And I don't want to lose any of my friends from heart attacks or strokes, so from now on they will be nagged within an inch of their lives.
Why? Because I love them and they make my life on earth so much better.

Lots of love Debbie x