The assessment hangover

I still feel a bit punch drunk today and my head is swimming more than usual.
Luckily I did sleep, but not until late again and I was awake early, which was a bit annoying. Maybe they put sleeping gas in the air con at the hospital, as by 11pm there I had trouble keeping my eyes open and slept through the night with only one visit to the toilet at around 5.45am. Normally I trot back and forth to the bathroom at home, but although in the hospital the rooms were lovely, the toilets were old fashioned and down a long dark corridor.

My pile of paperwork to complete has now increased, as I now have mother's paperwork to fill in for her now. One pile for her emergency care cover via Social Services and her form for reapplying for her blue badge.
I have to get this all sorted as soon as possible, as although my siblings have stepped up, I can't see them coming over on a daily basis, let alone twice a day. If this transplant happens quickly, then I'm going to have to pull my finger out.
I met the lady from the new care agency, who seemed very pleasant and although she asked less questions than the last company, I felt that I could trust her more. Just the way she spoke directly to mother, making it loud and clear, made you feel that she knew what she was doing and I'm usually a pretty good judge of character.
I explained again to mother that she was going to need extra help and she must say what she needs best from these carers. I think at last she realises that I have a big health battle ahead of me. If I go either into hospital or thanks to winter being on it's way, I could get another infection at home and end up wiped out for ages, so I won't be able to help her.
It dawned on Julie that I really needed to come off the respond list for mother's care call and get my brother on. Good thinking Batman.

Greta came round and helped me tidy up around the bungalow, as I have so many dead daddy long legs around the bungalow, the floors look like a battle zone. So she did my hoovering and I cooked her dinner. Less exhausting that way round.
While she was at mine my phone rang at least half a dozen times and I went through the last three days to each caller. Greta couldn't believe that I was actually talking so calmly as I related the procedure and who said what to me, she said it sounded like I was just going to be sterilized rather than have my heart and lungs removed.
I think that if I try and talk rationally about the transplant, then the calmness will rub off on me and the suppressed feelings of terror will stay suppressed. I don't think t will be long before I have a major wobble again somehow.

I have felt quite cold today, maybe a bit of delayed shock or the fact that Autumn has taken a turn, who knows because I don't!

Lots of love Debbie x