I return victorious...I hope

I'm home and I'm absolutely shattered.
But the good news is that everyone at Papworth was agreeable with me going on the list.
I do have to wait though until they get the results back from my reflux examination as there was a hold up in the Papworth getting the results, I do hope I haven't got to go through that again just yet!
And paperwork from my doctor, proof that I have had regular smear tests done recently.
Then hopefully if everything comes back like promised and they receive my forms that I had to take away to read and sign, then it will be next Friday that I go on the active list, as they update it every Friday. The surgeon said it was as good as rubber stamped.

The actual hospital it's self is really lovely. Old fashioned and spread out, but everyone from the surgeon to the porters were really nice and kind to you.
The ward I was on, had single rooms complete with a balcony as it was an old TB hospital the same as Broomfield hospital, where their TB ward had balcony's too.
I learnt a lot about transplants and myself over those three days and was proud of myself for only crying a few tears twice the whole time I was there.
Monday it was full on and I was so glad Oliver was there with me that day and the lovely coordinator who was with us from start to finish and sat with us at every meeting we had with the consultants etc, as we were told of all the negatives aspects regarding transplants in these. These negatives were the facts and figures of what can go wrong even if you survived the actual transplant in the first place.
She did explain that they had to tell you all the bad stuff first and believe me there was a hell of a lot of bad stuff, to see if you had the fight in you and still wanted to go ahead.
Facts such as what the various side effects that the many drugs that stop you rejecting the new organs can do to you, kidney failure, diabetes and skin cancer just to name a few. The various things that can go wrong and what actually happens to you, blow by blow or should I say slice by slice.
Then all about the new lungs themselves failing, which they will and how long that could take to start if you are unlucky.
If you get to five years, then you should have a good chance of going on to a good many years afterwards, but there are a lot that only get five more years.
It's not the length of life that they want to give you, but the quality of life and when you've been told that you have an end stage lung disease and this particular disease at this stage could offer three and a half to five more years of a down hill spiral, well it's a gamble you've got to take and a transplant is your only chance.
At one point I did wonder why they actually did transplants as the news was so depressing.

They are so thorough and explain things so well though, that if they had said that I'd have to wait another three months, I would have taken it from them with no tears or tantrums, as I'd know that they were waiting a bit longer to do it for a good reason.
Today it also looks like it's back on for a heart and double lung transplant now, as it turns out that I have a fairly rare blood group: AB positive.
The surgeon that I met today, his eyebrows went up when he heard that and I instantly thought that he would tell me that it would mean a long wait ahead of me. But thankfully no, as he explained that a) there is a long list of O blood group ladies waiting, so my list is very short and b) if I have the whole caboodle done, then it would be better for me because of where they cut and attach the new organs as less rejection and if I was willing, then someone else could gain and have my heart.
Luckily I had Oliver and Dwight there on the Wednesday takig notes!
When he explained it, then there was no way that I could say no especially not to helping someone else live after I had been given a second chance. Although saying that, if I snuff it and they survive, I'd be a pretty sulky angel as I'm trying on my wings and I could see my harp being thrown at a cloud in a strop!

My new exercise regime has paid off, as my lung function tests preformed on Tuesday were hugely improved. One of the tests that I had the pleasure of, was the exercise where you have to sit in what can only be described as Houdini's famous water chamber only without the water, but just as scary.
You sit with a clip on your nose to stop the air getting in through your nostrils and your mouth clamped round a tube which you breathe in and out through. Not too bad until they drop a flap across the tube so no air goes into your lungs and at that point you think that you are going to suffocate and panic sets in. It was only for a couple of seconds but not nice at all.
The walking test I did really well in even though I was puffing like an old steam train and started feeling really faint. I got through it by pretending I was at Blue Waters walking from shop to shop!
Pathetic I know, but I am an Essex girl!
I must have given a gallon of blood, been x-rayed from every angel and laid on the curled up on my side on a couch panicking where the Echocardigram man was sitting on the couch too, close to my bottom which was pointing in his direction and I could feel wind brewing.
I have a pile of paperwork to read and sign, but I am too tired, but I don't think that I will be able to sleep.
I did go off to sleep at 11pm each night, which amazed me and woke up at 6am and got drugged up and was in the bath by 7.30am, which amazed my friends!

What happens now will happen.

Lots of love Debbie x