I'm paranoid... who said that?

I have realised that every morning about 11am, apart from Sundays that my spirit drops, only momentarily but it drops all the same and then it is closely followed by paranoia.
The reason?
My postman has been and no letter from Papworth Hospital again.
Ok I realise that the doctors there have to have all the test results in front of them from my specialist before they ask to see me to discuss the transplant and have only just got the angiogram results.
That maybe the outbreak of D&V at Broomfield hospital might have held up my angiogram appointment and put the date back which had held up everything else, after all it did make TV news.
But when you are waiting for something so important to arrive, you suddenly start looking for reasonable explanations for why you haven't heard, because the other option is too scary for words.
I've always been the same even when waiting for things to materialise, I need to know why. The fact that some wheels turn more slowly isn't a good enough reason for Pollyanna in me.

Today though, I heard from my local doctor that I have to have a blood test done asap, as the results that of the angiogram that I gave her early LAST week, show that I have mild coronary disease. Where did that come from as the doctor in the hospital told me that they were fine?
Why don't doctors all sing from the same song sheet?
I now have to have a blood test for cholesterol. So is this the reason that I haven't heard from Papworth? Will it be enough to hold my transplant up?
In 2006 I had a cholesterol level of 3.5 which is very good, but now I have gained weight and not doing all the walking that I used to do, so it could be a lot higher? Though I think my diet is good?
No wonder I'm paranoid!

Tonight I did treat my friend who did all my decorating for me to a good meal at a lovely restaurant which I haven't been to in ages.
He is a vegetarian so he is built like a whippet, but I'm a carnivore and built like the back of a bus! But sure I ate as healthily as him tonight.
Asparagus for starters, slow roasted belly pork for main so ok not so healthy, but no dessert which is as per normal for when I'm eating out just lately and just still water and green tea to wash it all down.
Jacket potato for lunch and only a couple of complimentary squares of chocolate with this evening's meal to give my sweet tooth a treat.
Nearly every mouthful I felt guilty about eating... notice I said nearly, at those prices I wasn't going to feel much remorse!
Hopefully tomorrow will be the day that a letter from some doctor at some hospital will arrive and I will know something about something rather than trying to guess what's happening. Because believe me, my imagination can run wild and at the moment I'm guessing that the postman is an ex boyfriend and he is holding my letter back on purpose as an act of revenge, or that the letter has fell out of his bag and is lying under a hedge where is blown from a gust of wind from a passing car or........!

Lots of love Debbie x