Question time

Questions, questions.

So many of the damn things are flying around my head at the moment.
I always get like this before an important hospital appointment and this time is no different even though it is yet another test that I know must be done before I get the 'invite' up to Papworth, but it doesn't stop me worrying.

I'm not worrying about the procedure on Friday so much now. I'm way past worrying about that, as I'm already on to the next set of fears. Although I doubt I'll sleep a wink on Thursday night and I shall probably want to vomit the whole drive to the hospital on Friday morning.
But I'm at the 'what if' stage again. What if my specialist changes his mind because of one of the test results? What if they decide at Papworth that they can't help me after all? What if they can't get a donor? What if I reject the new organs and I'm worse when if I do get a transplant?
What if this year is the last year that I ever make up hanging baskets again?

I know I have to be positive and think that this is one more step to my goal...yay, but there are moments like today when the parties are over and reality comes back, that the negative thoughts creep in...yah boo sucks.

Still at least by trying to keep out the negative thoughts, I have succeeded in doing all my ironing and washing out my fridge, sorting out my clothes ready for summer and getting a decent size food shop, so not all was lost today.

Lots of love Debbie x